One Of Those Stories The Milk Maid Is Sorta Famous For...

After getting Ava to sleep and then working on my A&P study guide for hours, I developed a headache and a case of the yawns. As soon as Ava awoke from her nap I tossed my books down and loaded up the family truckster and headed to get a caffeinated beverage from the convenience store.

I chose a 16oz R.ed Bull and grabbed Ava a small juice-type beverage with one of those pull-to-slurp tops. She drank about half of her drink while we went to the bank and ran a couple errands. We arrived back home, and of course I went to check the photos that B had sent from her recent Relay for Life walk. That's about the time the following chain of events happened:

Ava came through the house and wanted a "bitebitebite" and was carrying a tin of mixed nuts. I told her to take one, so in toddler speak that translates to take one hand full. I know that she will eat the small hand full of nuts one at a time, so I let her sit beside me and nibble while I read a blog or two. She gets up and wanders into the den (just out of sight). I hear papers shuffling and realize that it might be Ava in my school books and work, so I jump up and look.

Ava had taken the remaining juice-type beverage and poured it on my workbook that I will need to turn in to the teacher tomorrow. I grab the book, dripping blue liquid all over the couch, and run for my bathroom. I calmly grab the blow dryer, turn it on, and start to dry the book.

I look left and Ava is trying to get into my shower. I say no, no Ava! about the time she sits in the wet shower floor. I say get up! and she does while simultaneously grabbing a MOLDY SPONGE and putting it in her mouth. I scream NO AVA NO NO!! and she drops the sponge along with a mouth full of half-chewed nuts onto the rug. I run to move the MOLDY SPONGE and pick up the nuts as Ava opens the toilet lid and tries to stick her head into the bowl.

So there I am holding a wet book, a blowing hair dryer, kicking a MOLDY SPONGE while temporarily forgetting about the half-chewed nuts that I of course manage to step in while keeping Ava swirlie-head free by closing the toilet lid with my elbow.

Ava exits the bathroom stage right and I finish drying the book (which wasn't too worse for wear, actually). As I leave the bathroom I discover Ava using both hands to rub her tongue. Revenge of the MOLDY SPONGE?? No, Ava had managed to spend the 23 seconds I remained in the bathroom after she'd ran off to scale her 5 foot tall cabinet and grab (and drink some of) a bottle of milk from, well- maybe this morning? Maybe last night?

The kicker of the story is, that when I took the milk away from Ava she screamed and cried and was mad at me.