Tagged!

I was tagged by onemorebaby!



The rules for this award:



1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.



And here they are:

1. Baby Bound


2. Baby Steps For Maatman


3. Baby Franklin Journey


4. Baby Steps


5. Doran's World


6. Dory


7. From Here To Maternity

(They are the 1st 7 from my blog roll, in case you were curious! Everyone is welcome to join in the fun!)

2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Scrap.”



Here's the Honest Scrap Prize- come, click to save, and link if you so desire!






3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

1. I love hot wings.... I want them spicy, but not so spicy that I can't taste the good buttery, wingy, hot sauced flavor!
2. I was sent to speech therapy for 6 months when I was in 1st grade because I had trouble saying my S's and T's. I also had only 2 of my 8 front teeth at the time (the two bottom middle teeth only) so that MIGHT have had something to do with it. I've been paranoid ever since then about how I sound when I speak.
3. I am a picker- I pick scabs and zits and wild hairs at will. On everyone. Just ask Jef. I am a monster...
4. I had always said from middle school age into early adulthood that I wanted 4 or 5 kids (maybe more). I think 3 will be enough... although I thought 2 would be plenty after Ava was born. Heeeheehee!
5. I love to play sports but not watch them
6. I am an early riser who can sleep late, but has been conditioned otherwise.
7. I could totally eat some tuna and salmon shashimi right now.
8. I have a photo of my best Pal B on my computer table. It's from about a year ago at a place (or gathering) called MAMU. It's one of my fave pics of us!
9. I have kept dried flowers from arrangements I've received over the years for approximately 15 years now.
10. I repierced my belly button the other night. By myself. With my own personal stash of piercing needles that I got on the famous online auction site. No, it didn't hurt. It was only the 7th ot 8th time I've repierced it.

The Milk Maid says the devil is in the details

Friday Mish-Mash, The Return

It's been too damn long since I Mish-Mashed people!

My Pal B called me as I was doing the Flight Of The Bumble Bee Clean Up Dance around my house. Needless to say, if I don't have the time for blogging I sure as hell don't have the time to clean house. Anyways, Faith's friend Baileigh* came to spend the night. Seeing as how my children tend to keep their own agenda like the tiny rock stars they think they are, when the idea of Faith going to Baileigh's house to spend the night came up (you know, while I was slammed at work, my dad was watching the girls at the local inflatable bouncy play place, and in general there was a screw loose somewhere in the cosmos) it sounded like a fine idea to me.

*Baileigh is a better name than Courtennay, but still get's minus 2 points for too many letters and minus 5 points for looking just plain weird. Sorry if this is your kid's name- remember my mind is simple and so are my kids names. I know what MY name is- shut it. At least my name isn't "Siren H00ker"- long story, true story, maybe next blog I'll elaborate.

Lo and behold (isn't that always a phrase used to precursor something completely shitty happening?) there was a hitch. Baileigh's mom was going to come to My House to pick up the girls.

My House people. The house that hasn't been cleaned properly (well except for the Seasoned Salt incident) in... well, longer than I'm willing to admit. I plead the Fifth (and I considered drinking one too).

So, as I was throwing clothes and junk in closets cleaning the phone rings and it's B. Chaos echoed through the background as Faith, Baileigh, and Ava (and later on Zeus and Chip) all collaborated to ensure the decibel level in The Casa De Leche was hovering somewhere around the range the Concord would have made (or to be more realistic, at least as loud as Jef used to snore). In this conversation B suggested a glass of wine.

My only question was how to get the children to drink it and not complain about the taste.

--The Milk Maid says a bird in the hand will only dook on you.

Built To Last

Most friendships I've held throughout the years have ended nearly as suddenly as they began. Let's face it, I'm a hard sell for a lifetime commitment. Just ask my ex-phleb class buddy CindyLooHoo, or my ex-BFF from age 6 months through high school, or heck ask my ex-husband (you know, if you can find him).


Luckily, maybe once or twice in a life time, I've found a friend that I know will always be there for me. My number one position is held, of course, by my Big J.


And number two, you ask... C'mon. We all know it's my Pal B.


So, you ponder, just how does a long tall Southern gal and all her witchy ways manage to snag a wallet-toting Mid-West butch gal for her BFF?


The answer to that question is much simpler than it may appear...


We're both fucking warped as hell!


And besides that, well- you could say we've both been burned before (once bitten, twice shy- served as your daily mixed metaphor appetizer) in friendship and in love, we share the same interest in music and in art, and we have a lot of goodness in our tender little hearts- although we'd rather not show that side. We're suckers for the cause. We want to believe that a true friendship can be held intact, and that what we want in life isn't transient.


I think most importantly we understand each other. Through good or bad we know when to press our limits, there are unspoken boundaries we didn't even know we set, and the non-verbal cues (which um, heLLo we speak on the phone 98% of the time so , like that's important!) we share are better than most old married couples.


And when my pal B says something about the side effect of a random medicine being "diarrhea and incompetence"... well, I know for sure, after picking myself up out of the floor and making myself stop laughing, that we must truly share a brain.


Or half at least half a brain.


--The Milk Maid says at least it wasn't incontinence!

system memory is fantasic!

The Milk MEAD Does RenFest

MEAD: Honey Wine

After two bottles of this delectable libation at the Houston Renaissance Festival yesterday (shared with my Pal B, of course) I officially declared myself the Milk Mead!

Drunken debauchery, men in kilts taking photos of their bare genitalia, henna tattoos, steak on a stick, Mud Men, and K grounding us from any further alcohol were only some of the highlights of this weekend...

There was also drunk dialing, discussions (in depth) of Brazilian waxing, the whoring of Christoper Titus' comedy on You-Tube, drinking before noon, and the waking up of people who had to go to work today (late last night = getting yelled at).

Tomorrow is back to reality. I fly back home later tonight and leave H-town until a date to be announced much later.

I leave my friends B&K, I leave the city I've come to love, I leave company I am at home with.

-The Milk Maid says party on til next time Garth!

The Super Large Clinic Site Is Mine, ALL MINE!

I am officially employed (pending my background check and drug screen)!

I have negotiated a salary, filled out all the needed paper work, peed in a cup, and sworn under oath (metaphorically speaking) that I am not a crook. I even resisted the urge to do my best Richard Nixon impression when I signed the background check form.

I am a phlebotomist! I am a phleb at the place I wanted to be a phleb! I am so cool today that, if I didn't have a rollicking headache from skipping breakfast so I could go put the finishing touches on everything at the Super Large Clinic site, I would do some crazy dance and upload it here for you all to make fun of!

It feels good- lemme tell ya! I went to school, got an edumakatshon, and then I got a JOB. It's so storybook I know, but that's about the only thing in my life that's gone according to plan. The plan took a lot of time (2 months from putting my application in), but who the heck am I to complain. I don't have to be a waitress now. There will be no serving booze to old men who look at my tatas. Well, unless I want to do that.

My intro to venipuncture teacher even called me to congratulate me! Even my mom was proud!

And speaking of my mother, she made a great effort to be nice yesterday... She asked if "my friend" (she can't remember My Pal B's name) was in "any of that big weather that hit" meaning Hurricane Gustav. I'm putting a great big gold star by my mother's name alongside the E for effort.

And on a side note: Has anyone ever heard of the "3 days and $75 method" for potty training? Basically you take 3 days, add in one completely nekkid toddler, mix well in a confined area with a sprinkle of a training potty and let stew. At the end of 3 days you are supposed to have a potty trained kiddo. And the $75 is for?... Carpet cleaning of course! I'm thinking of giving this a whirl. Ava keeps ripping off wet diapers and telling us before she poops, so I'm thinking she's ready. Now the question remains, "Is mama ready?". Mama may need some new home furniture after this.

--The Milk Maid says I'm gonna poke everybody!

Getting My Beefy Backside In Gear, And Other Thoughts

I have decided to start jogging. I have a very basic, simple and EASY plan that I think I can stick to... There are tons of ideas and advice at runnersworld.com if anyone else out there feels the need to hit the trail and toss back a mile or two. I would like to be able to run a mile in under 8 minutes. Truth be told, I would like to be able to run a mile without passing out. So, that's my goal now. I'm giving myself 5 weeks!

Seeing as how I have heard NADA from the large clinic place as far as employment I will have lots of time to devote to exercise. I put in an application at the hospital and for a waitress position at the local veteran's hall. It's amazing really- I feel like I went to school so I could either a) stay unemployed or b) have old men oogle my boobies BUT makes lots of money pouring the booze in them.

I blame my need to become healthier on two things: My pal B informed me that she's managed to lose 10 pounds. In a month. Without having to chop off an appendage! Admittedly, I'm jealous. I'm also quite porky. I'm also pretty competitive, so if I can lop off a few blobby fat rolls in the name of good clean fun then why not go for it!?

In other news:

Faith just informed me that the reason we wear underwear is so that our butt hair doesn't get too long. The underwear is there to grind it down. Ya see, the things you learn from ten year olds are just mesmerizing!

Ava has decided that weemweem (ice cream) is the best stuff ever to eat. She says that weemweem needs a poon (spoon). Budder (peanut butter) also needs a poon. You just can have one without the other. Cheers to poon and budder!

One Of Those Friday Mish-Mash Kinda Days

Been a while, hasn't it gang?

I'm having one of those days- you know, where you can't decide whether to pull your hair out and scream or dance, sing a silly song, and burp the alphabet.

I think I would most like to be laying on a sofa bed, somewhere about 1000 miles west of here, deciding what I want for dinner and having some girl-talk time with my peeps B&K. I've felt really secluded the past month and a half, and it's mostly because I dove head first into my clinicals. I wish I had some IRL friends that weren't two-faced hypocrites, but that's another story and another woe for another day.

I am still trying to round up contacts and former employers and dates and times and my bra size from 8 years ago (that would be easier than half the shit they are wanting, truth be told) for the HR lady (whose last name rhymes with marijuana). That's just irony in itself people, because I have not met a bigger buzz kill in say FOREVER. She's very needy and not so bright. Sigh- the things we do for gainful employment.

Faith's new nickname is Captain Obvious. With comments like, "Mom that man is cutting grass with his lawnmower!" and "Do you think it's hot outside because the temperature is so high?" let's just say she's earned the moniker.

--The Milk Maid says stinky feet, the game that's neat!

xbox 360

Firework Friday Mish-Mash

Happy 4th my peeps!

I'm in happy Houston for the long weekend... B&K have pretty much taken me hostage and are feeding me copious amounts of food, forcing me to imbibe far too much alcohol, making me sing and dance to Salt & Peppa songs, watch dirty comedy movies, and have a TERRIFIC time!

Today we head out for some adventure (to some undisclosed location).

Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!

--The Milk Maid says whatchu wanna do, I wanna shoop!

memory

I'll Take Peter, Paul, And Mary Songs For $500 Alex!

I'm leaving on a jet plane! No, really!!

A couple of weeks ago- after shutting down their blogs without TELLING me first, giving me a heart attack, making me has a sad, and then bribing me to stop whining- my pals B&K hatched a glorious scheme.

"Come to Houston, Milk Maid!" they echoed in happy harmony.

So, me being the clingy, needy wife that I am- who would never, ever leave her hubby for a long weekend trip to a city far, far away- promptly fooled all the doubters (B included) and booked a ticket to H-ton. Yes, really. Really, really.

So, for the past week or more, every single day (occasionally multiple times) my phone will ring or my email will bleep with the same question: Are you still coming?

Of course the answer is and always has been: Are you still sure you want me?

--The Milk Maid says kiss me and smile for me!

(Does colon cleanser work on commas?)

Baby Llama Drama

We added 2 new animals to our collection last weekend... 2 female llamas! Their "real" names are Alexandra Grand and Fantasia. The names I call them are Alex and Fanta. The names Faith calls them are Oreo and Cookies and Cream. Ava calls the llamas "mamas" and "meme!". Jef just yells "Hey llamas!".

Here are photos of our new gals:

Llamas do this thing called cushing when they are being transported. All cushing means, simply enough, is laying down. Llamas are great travelers. I kept trying to convince Jef that we should take Murray (the male llama) for a ride inside of Jef's VW bus when we first got him . Jef thought I was insane. However, when the llama girls came rumbling up to our small farm in the back of a Chevy Astro van, Jef got to wipe that little smirk of doubt off his face.

So, what happens when you combine 2 female llamas and a male llama? Oddly enough, the male llama who'd been extremely docile for months turns into a RAGE of HORNEYNESS that has not been rivaled in this area for many, many (many) moons. As llamas are induced ovulators (um- how FREAKIN' convenient!) we are pretty sure that Murray has knocked up both females. The females, once bred, will spit at the male and then kick him if necessary. Pretty much the way humans act, I do say.

Anyways, approximately 11.5 months from now we should have 2 llama babies (cria) on the ground and frolicking about. Let's all bite our nails for the next year in anticipation *wink*.

If you didn't catch the title of my post it's an homage to my BFF peeps B & K... if you haven't seen their fantastic news then mosey on over and give them a big whooowhooo!

--The Milk Maid says K is the leader of the pack!

Welcome To All B, All The Time!

If you aren't sure who this B character is that I keep blabbering about, then you've either been under a rock for a year OR this is the first time EVER you have read this blog. Because goodness knows, I can yammer on and on about my pal B!

I remember vaguely how we "met". It was via the blogs of course (where the hell else do you find friends?) and had something to do with bitch shoes and all that stuff. Long story short, I've become such good friends with B that the following now happens:

• My inbox is always full, as is hers, because we chat all day long via email.
• I've recently had to up my minutes on my cell phone plan (cough*double them*cough)because when we aren't emailing we are ringing the other one up.
• I constantly get her into trouble via my text message replies.
• I actually get to meet my pal B this weekend!

If you didn't know already, today is B's 35th birthday (or the 2nd anniversary of her 17 and a half birthday)! Happy birthday B! Everyone go give that girl some bird-day lurve!

I was going to share a really funny story about me and B, but I've either been sworn to secrecy, would need to plead the 5th in a court of law, or B would shank me if I did-- so this birthday story in rhyme will have to suffice:

There once was a Ninja Pirate Mobster Gang Member named Brandi.

The bra she should have worn that day would have come in quite handy

When about the town she ran, complete with knife in hand

Trying to shank a skank.

*

Road rage, yes she has it-

Some of us see it as quite fantastic!

Flicking her drink on movie patrons,

Getting harassed in hair salons by old matrons,

That's our B and we like it!

Happy Birthday B!!!

top diet pills