20 Pounds of Rice (and other ways to annoy my mother)

I keep telling my mother, the worrier, that we are not going to starve to death because Jef doesn't have a job. For goodness sakes, we have a 1/4 of his yearly salary in the bank at the moment- we will be "otay buckwheet" for quite some time, even if he doesn't hit a lick til 2007 rolls around. She, nonetheless, worries like all mothers do. Except she lives within walking distance (she can see thru my bathroom window if she puts her glasses on), so we're under constant surveillance from momsie. I told her yesterday we have 20 lbs of rice if we get desperate... she cried. The poor woman has no sense of humor, and was blessed with a daughter who is FULL of humor. We really should have bought that valium for her in Belieze a few years back... it would have been a good thing!

So- Jef's job front update: He has 2 offers for good jobs, but he's just not in any hurry to commit to anything in the car biz right this second. It is Thanksgiving in a few days, and who wants a new job during the middle of a holiday? Plus, we're just not in a panic to find him something. We have had the time of our lives the past week. He has laughed and smiled and been SO relaxed this past week. He wont stop cleaning the house either- which makes me wacko, as I am NOT a domestic goddess. But, it keeps him happy, and it's amusing to me for a while.

He fully understands why the house looks like it does most of the time now also. Ava is a clingy little poot, and she's been a "dahh's" girl lately too. Mommy likes! Dont get me wrong- I love my peewee, but being the Milk Maid gets a little tiresome. She's been cluster feeding lately (again) and hasn't been away from the boops longer than 45 minutes for the past 3 days except at night. She lives to eat, and eats until she crashes, and then wakes screaming for more, more, more. Oh, and odor has officially found its way into the poop. And by poop, I mean mustard and mud pie poops. Think about that... and think about finding that at 4am. Ahhh- Motherhood is wonderful (especially when dads change diapers).

Faith had a book character dressup at school today. She was Pikachu. I would have paid money to have had my video camera running when she got off the bus wearing that goofy yellow costume, singing and dancing and frollicking all about! What a goober- but she's MY goober.

Jef and I visited mom today for lunch (in her worried we'd starve mode). She was reading the paper and asked what sexual battery was. Jef was thinking of the technical definition, and I stuck my head around the corner and said, "Isn't sexual battery what you put in your viberator to make it run?". I thought my mother was going to fall over (such a prude!) and I thought Jef was going to fall over (laughing, of course!). This is what too much caffiene does for me... It makes me a perverted comedian. Alcohol does the same thing, but only with less inhibition. My mom actually asked me if I'd been drinking (it was NOON). Eventually, she laughed. After almost 28 years, shouldnt she be more used to my shenanigans?!

Well, I've finally done it. I have started a novel. Yay me! It took this long to make myself just sit down and do it, but now it's going well. I have written 3 chapters so far, and I like it. I let Jef read the beginning of chapter 1 and he loves it.

Basically, it's a detective in a mystery/comedy/romance. Yeah, lots of genres there, but... Just think Lawrence Sanders meets Anne Rice, and a bit of Dean Koontz thrown in (and there's a hell of a threesome, huh?!).

I also have ideas for 2 children's books, but I think if I write them I'll need a pen name. No one wants their 4 year old reading a book written by the same person who penned a steamy trashy novel, right?

Well- while booby-baby is snoozing I'm going to try to squeeze out another chapter... Adios!

Technomarine watch