My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Mish-Mash of Friday With Bonus Features

Happy Friday Mish-Mash everyone! I'm feeling more like me today, partially because I don't have time to play pitty party. I have kids to take places, dogs that need ear re-taping, doggie dividers to install in my car, and tons of other doo-doo that I must do!

Let's start the blog with a little Haiku(!)Friday action:

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(Click here to play along and read lots of other fabulous Haikus!)

B and K got wine,
They say that's just fine because
Seven years is here!
Ava loves boobie,
No way I can make her stop-
Breastfeeding a toddler!
Zeus is a puppy,
Over thirty pounds is he-
Oh dear god don't poop!
Michell tagged me for a game. The rules are: List a word that describes you for every letter of the alphabet. Offer as much or as little explanation as you wish. Please keep the words positive (for example, don’t use “fat” for F or “lame” for L), and feel free to get creative. Tag as many or as few people as you wish.
A- Attentive. I have to keep constant vigil, lest someone forget their meds or dump the dog's water out or poop in the floor!
B- Braniac. I'm a nerd from waaay back. Old school pocket protector wearing, slave to the glasses (pre-Lasik) nerd. I like being nerdy... It gives me the excuse to watch brainy TV for fun.
C- Calculating. I'm the only person I know who likes to plan out spontinaiety!
D- Diva. Not the Mariah Carey booty shaking kind... The suburban housewife that drives an SUV kind.
E- Exciting. At least I hope I am. Wow- has anyone made it this far into my ABC's?
F- Faith's mom.
G- Gourd Dresser. We still have Gordon the Gourd. He stayed on display in the school library for 2 weeks. That makes me a Gourd Fashionista!
H- Hopeful. For so many things...
I- Independent. I know, you would have never guessed.
J- Jef's wife.
K- Kind. I try to be kind- open doors for people, let them out in traffic, etc. Then they do something stupid and I have a hard time being kind.
L- Laugh. My goal in life is to keep people laughing. I have a unique sense of humor, and can usually find something humorous about any situation. Even those times I shouldn't!
M- Mother. Even as they tug on my sweater, I still have days where I can't believe I'm a mom.
N- Naughty... Because it's so much more fun that nice! But it's a good naughty!
O- Open minded. Just look at my blogroll if you don't believe that!
P- Pessimist. It's not a negative, I just don't get overly excited about things that wont happen by being a pessimist.
Q- Quirky. Oh yeah!
R- Renaissance woman... Love that Willie The Shake!
S- Student. Always looking to learn and expand my mind.
T- Tame. Trust me, compared to what I used to be and do I'm very tame these days.
U- Unique. But aren't we all?
V- Vampire. No, I'm not one of the undead, but I sure do love to read about them and watch shows about them. Maybe not a healthy obsession for a future phlebotomist. Hummm...
W- Willing... to try new things.
X- Xylaphone... I snuck into the band room in middle school just to play one of these.
Z- Zeal and Zest for life!
I tag Ethan's Mama and Meg!
--The Milk Maid says a puppy in a box is better than a baby in the dog crate.


Because B Said So...

I have to quit sulking in the corner and get my head out of my ass. B made me...

Thanks girl. Even though you think I'm totally futch (femme+butch non-lesbian).

In celebration of me not being a depressing oaf for the next 10 minutes here's a couple pics from the day:

Ava and Zeus--

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And the Christmas Tree:

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Mixed Bag

I woke up shouting my mantra of "It's gonna be a better day, dammit!".

I went to the mall with my mom and got a makeover and nearly $300 worth of new makeup and skin care courtesy of mom as an early x-mas gift.

I look fabulous. Shiney eye makeup, glowing skin from a new radiant foundation. I have cheek bones too!

But I still feel like shit.

I am having pangs of guilt over leaving Ava for Jef's holiday party. At the same time I am feeling like a complete idiot for feeling guilty. I can't win this fight- I'm a loser either way I turn. It's not like it's a big deal to let a 15 month old spend the night with her grandparents. But what if...

Oh save me from the what ifs!

I went to the mail box a bit ago, because after yesterday I completely forgot that mundane chore. What do I find?... A chronic kidney disease eating guide for the holidays addressed to Big J. Knowing better, I read it anyway. Look out below as I plummet to those depths again.

It definitely doesn't pay for me to wear makeup. Tears always smear the mascara.

I'm tired of being in This Place that I keep coming back to. It feels like every hope and dream and plan we have had together gets crushed in This Place. I have been really good at staying away from the doldrums. I actually thought to myself last week, "Hey self- you have been upbeat an in control of yourself lately- Good job!!"

And that was all the permission my mind needed to go berserk again.

--The Milk Maid is going to sulk in a corner for a while.

At least I have a neat closed captioning deal to insert here.


Almost There, But Who's Counting

Wednesday... Depending on how you count it is technically halfway thru the week. Thank God for that!

My digital camera lens is broken- all frozen up and the zoom feature wont work- and S*ny wants $278 to LOOK at it and diagnose. Whaaat?? I said! I can buy a new lens for $150-ish. To top it all off I'm less than 20 days out of warranty.

Faith was temporarily "lost" when the bus driver forgot to drop her off. This happens about 2 times a month, so no real panic attack there. It makes me mad, but there was no panic.

Ava's new favorite game is smash the ornaments. My new favorite game is Freakthehellout because the shatter-resistant ornaments, quite simply, AREN'T! A baby, 2 ornaments smashed into a bajillion pieces, a frollicky puppy, and only 2 arms make for some afternoon excitement. That's the kind of excitement that will turn your hair gray or make you drink too much, or heaven forbid turn you Republican*!

(*Or make you have a sex dream about Rudy Gulianni, but that is another post for another day. We have talked about puke waaay too much already this week.)

Christmas is just under a month away.

Dear Powers That Be, let me make it til then with a smile on my face and a song in my heart (Other than Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead).

--The Milk Maid says I'm melting.

Hoodia love?


Regaining My Holiday Street Cred

It's long been known, at least to my peeps around here, that I am a cross between Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch at holiday time. It's not that I don't like Christmas. I really DO like Christmas. In fact, I have no clue as to why I have such a hard time enjoying the season.

All that aside, I am making a point of getting my act together for the Christmas Season. I will have a tree up by December 24th. I might even buy a new tree to replace the old, tiny, wimpy "Charlie Brown" style tree I've had for the past 10 years. I bought new coordinating (sort of) wrapping paper yesterday, along with a few new ornaments, gift tags, and tape to wrap with. Nope, I will not be using blue painter's tape this year on the gifts. Most of Ava's gifts are in my bedroom waiting for me to wrap them (or waiting on Santa to handle them). Faith is getting a W.ii complements of my parents, but it will be going under our tree. That pretty much covers HER x-mas too!

The one big ticket item we are debating on is a ride on train for Ava. It's battery operated, but it is large enough for her to ride on and it comes with 15' of track (or something like that). We have found it (shipped) for less than $200, but I can't decide if I want to give up even more floor space for something like this. To be honest, I really wonder if it isn't for Ava so much as it is for Jef. Hummm... I should buy him a conductor's hat and gear just to be on the safe side!

And speaking of Jef- I'd love to share what I'm plotting for that sweet man of mine, but he does read the blog and that would be a spoiler for sure. Ok, so he has made the point we aren't getting each other anything, but that really means we are.

So, hummy- sweetie- pookie pie: Come and get my list, okie dokie?

Anyone looking for nice wedding bands?

--The Milk Maid says Mary Kissmoose


My Life Is A Theme Park...

...And I'm riding the Vomit Comit!

The last time Faith threw up was 4 years ago. I remember it (too) vividly. There is something about a chocolate milk and macaroni projectile barf that wont easily be pried from your brain.

Until you get to replace that image with a fried rice hurl.

Yep- I'm back on Puke Patrol. Or I was... Faith is over it now. In fact the little goob turned down a Get Out Of School Free card by rousing me from a deep slumber at 7:25 this morning by shouting, "Mommy I'm better!". I'm glad she is feeling better, but after laying awake half the night listening for any sounds that might indicate impending doom I didn't get very much sleep, and I could have used another 40 winks.

The extra sleep wouldn't have been a possibility anyway, as Zeus was starting to roust about in his crate, and Ava was using what sounded like a hammer and chisel to try and get out of her crib.

I will get a good photo of Zeus's ears when I can get him to hold still!

--The Milk Maid says a Spot Bot is a mom's best friend!

golf cart parts


Rainy Sunday

Just a lazy afternoon around here... Not much happening. We went to breakfast this morning at Crack*r B*rrel and enjoyed it thoroughly. After that we made a trip to the flea market to enjoy some free ice cream, complements of my dad. Jef and I browsed the isles for unbeatable deals, but all we really managed to find was junk, as usual.

I hate to say it, but I'm ready for Faith to be back in school and for my schedule to be back in order again. I like everyone being home and all, but it sure is nice to have a routine to the day! It makes a huge difference when it comes to Ava's mood (and my mood as well, I admit) when the whole day is scheduled out like we are used to.

Last week Zeus had his ears retaped... We untape them every 10th day, and have them retaped on the 11th until they are "right". How long until they are "right" you ask? Beets me. When they are right, they are right, and not a moment before. Sigh... Kind of like we sell no wine before it's time. Isn't that Bartels and James?

Anywho- back to Zeus's ears-- one ear was flopping inwards, and needed to go the other way, so the only way to correct this was to tape it at an angle in the other direction. He has one taped strait up, and the other at almost a 90 degree angel the other way. It looks like a rabbit-ear antenna!

--The Milk Maid says oh deer deer, sticking your tounge out at me!

Luggage Anyone?


Saturday Mish-Mash

(I completely forgot yesterday was Friday! Now that is when you know you are having some serious fun!)

I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A MARVELOUS THANKSGIVING! And now for a recap of what we did over the holiday...

After consuming most of a wild animal--

That would be this fine looking turkey:
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And how about some mac and cheese too:
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--I decided to load the girls up and head to a game ranch/petting zoo!

So the girls got dressed... And helped me walk Zeus!

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Then we were off to see the animals:
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Did that deer just stick it's tounge out at me?

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Did I mention the animals are very very friendly?

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Ava couldn't believe it either!

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"Dog! Dog! Dog!" she screamed!

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One of the 3 bears at the park... He sat there with his mouth open waiting on people to throw food at him. Kind of like my uncle at Thanksgiving!

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I guess this is the "Turkey: Before" photo.

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This little piggy would make a great friend for Faith. She already keeps a stye in her room for him.

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"Not another damn goat! You people are insane. Didn't we just get rid of our two goats for eating things they weren't supposed to? Bleh!"

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They were even nice enough to box up a goat for my pal B-- Check your front porch stoop next week for Billy!

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It would be too easy to make a comment about Faith's father here.

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"Nice mutton chops there sheep!"

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Fast friends... Ava and this sheep really took up with each other.

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"I have poop on my Mary Jane's mother!"

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Now that is a very friendly squirrel. Faith wanted to take one home.

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My girls!

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We finally got Ava to stand for this photo... She wanted to sit in the leaves and play.

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Double Trouble!

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Ava and Bunny.

Bunny sat very still. Ava sat very still. They bonded over a cup of quiet as toddlers and older children ran like mad in the background.

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No trip is complete without a ride on the Quarter Horse.

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Off into the sunset we all rode... Happily ever after!

--The Milk Maid says have a cup of calm at this Arizona bed and breakfast!



My To-Do List For Today:

  1. Do a "quick thaw" of the turkey since MOTHER forgot to put it it fridge to thaw this past weekend. A quick thaw is where you put the bird in a big bucket, fill the bucket with water, weight bird down (so the little jackleg doesn't float away) and s-l-o-w-l-y allow water to run from tub faucet into bucket and overflow s-l-o-w-l-y back into the tub and down the drain. Everything seems slow about a quick thaw except the actual time it takes to work.
  2. Bake a Pecan Pie. Because Jef loves them. And I love Jef. And that's the way I roll, homey.
  3. Figure out how in Pete's name to make a Pecan Pie by calling favorite aunt.
  4. Bake cornbread for dressing. (Doesn't she mean stuffing?). No I don't mean stuffing. Stuffing is evil. Dressing is cooked in a pan away from the salmonella filled cavity of the turkey. It's a Southern thing.
  5. Bake (read as "buy") biscuits for dressing. It's so much easier to buy 4 biscuits. And I was going to Micky D's for coffee anyways.
  6. Once turkey is thawed, make a brine for the bird and let soak (keeping at a safe temperature, of course) over night. (Why do you brine the bird?). I brine the turkey to keep it moist during cooking and because "sawdust" is not an adjective I wish to use for the texture and taste of my turkey. I am the Turkey Cooker Of The Family. It's a lofty title I plan to keep until I can pass the torch to some young apprentice.
  7. Explain to my mother One More Time what a brine is and how a brine works. Make a drawing so the whole osmosis thing doesn't blow her mind. Again.
  8. Grate the cheddar and Gruyere cheese for homemade Mac-N-Cheese.
  9. Wash all dishes, put away all dishes, and have kitchen spotless for tomorrow's cooking whirl wind!

--The Milk Maid says Turkey Day RAWKS!! and then does her best impersonation of Wayne and Garth. (Not Newton and Brooks either people!)

If my mother behaves this holiday season I might poke her in an old f'er farm with this: assisted living software.


Reason #423 I Hate Mondays

I quickly realized upon waking that the only thing clean in the house for me to wear were clothes that made me think of something my mother would wear (gimme a break it's laundry day- that's reason #135 I Hate Mondays).


My 2 Cents

Because of the recent activity from Pourlebebe (which makes me rancid with anger) on RaJen's blog I'd like to say...

On behalf of the whole blogging circle that I am a card carrying member of, this one's for you:

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'Nuff said.

--The Milk Maid is throwing down the gauntlet.


Friday Mish-Mash 11.16.07

For now, the puke-a-thon has ceased. I gave Ava absolutely no whole milk yesterday, and she seems to have made a complete turn around. Makes me wonder if some of this wasn't allergy related, or if maybe the milk was just waaay too much on an already sensitive stomach. Either way, as long as she's good then all is well!

I finally made myself shave my legs today. I was grossing myself out, and that is quite a feat. Now I need to go spend 15 minutes shaping my eyebrows. With all this grooming I might look like a normal human being by noon!

I really need a nap... I didn't sleep very well. I was half-listening all night for sounds that might indicate Ava needed me. I heard nothing until this morning at 6:15. I got her from her crib and put her to bed with me where she crawled and poked and nursed (and did I say poked?) until I relented there was no more rest to be had and got up at a little before 7.

Jef is off work Saturday for the first time since starting his new job and I am so excited! What will I do with two whole days to spend with my Big J? I might have to fall over from the excitement of it all!

--The Milk Maid says get your motor runnin'!

A great way to get your motor running is with a Chrysler 300 accessory! If you have this kind of car, of course!


Daily Footwear

I awoke to yet another sticky-headed barf-baby this morning. Nothing says Good Morning like stomach bile and crackers, yo!

After taking Faith to school I called the pediatrician's office and spoke to the nurse on call. Apparently, a week long cold followed by 5 days of the shits and then 36 hours of vomit do not constitute an emergency. Or an office visit. Nor would they even recommend anything besides "clear liquids and Pedi*Lite". The nurse was like, "Well stuff is going around. If it gets worse then we might can see her, but it's probably just a little bug and you shouldn't worry."

Did she just give me snark?....

Now I know that mother's tend to get all feisty and worked up over small things when their children are "sick". You know the mom's that as soon as Junior sneezes they rush him to the ER and have a billions tests run, never mind the fact that he's been playing in black pepper for cripes sakes. Yeah, those mom's are my Nemesis. My Achilles heel. They are the moms that cause people with real problems to get the old ho-hum answer of give it a few more days.

...Needless to say, I dusted off my Bitch Shoes and walked all over nurse so-and-so's smart ass with them. I still didn't get an appointment (probably because I hung up on her), but I sure felt a hell of a lot better about the whole deal. I will give the puke-a-thon a few more hours (so far, so good since breakfast) and take her to another doctor or the Quick Care if need be.

And while I'm wearing my favorite footwear...

Do any of you read the Because I Said So blog? You know, the e-bay mom with 6 kids who is now an overnight sensation because of a pack of Pokemon cards and a funny story that sold said pack of cards for some insane amount like $200. She has a book deal now. Which is great and all but (if you like her please stop reading now)...

She really isn't that funny.

There, I said it. Now keep in mind that I do read her every few days and I understand that she is keeping all her "good" material for the books she is writing. And I know I should not be the one throwing stones since half the stuff I write either is a) not all that funny or b) about sex. But I just keep thinking to myself, "Self- see what that semi-funny woman did. You can do that too, Self. Plus you have Bitch Shoes, snark, and you are in a gang!"

If someone finds a Muse out there, I seem to be missing one.

--The Milk Maid says mecka-lecka-hi-mecka-hiney-ho!

(PS- home gym equipment)



This morning as I made my usual bloggie-rounds, I discovered I had a wonderful surprise waiting for me at Play Groups Are No Place For Children ...

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Much thanks to Jennifer the Binky Bitch!! If you don't read her blog, then you can't be my friend anymore. Ok, I'm kidding about the friend part, but she's really funny and it's you who will be missing out if you don't go over there right now.

In other news: I've been puked on twice today. Ava is not feeling well. For a kiddo who made it 13+ months without being sick (except that one time she was a little sniffly) she sure has made up for it the past week. Teething, a cold with a very runny nose, and now barf. Ya know, after having milk puked in my hair this morning, I kind of miss the snot.

It's come to my attention that quite a few of you would love to whack the dookie out of my dearest Big J after The Little Black Dress post. Before you fill a tube sock up with nickels and head this way, let me explain one thing:

I don't mind him looking at other women. As long as he looks as me on occasion, does a little grab-assing, gives me smooches and the lot then I really, truly don't care WHO he looks at. In fact, I have always told him if he could find a woman who enjoyed scrubbing the house from floor to ceiling 7 days a week he could bring her home. I know who he loves! But- Big J- you'd better fulfil your husbandly duties in the bedroom very soon... I might start having those lettuce dreams again.

Faith and I had a very interesting conversation about religion this morning on the way to school. She asked why a classmate didn't stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. I tried to explain that people from different cultures and religions sometimes didn't do things exactly the way we did them, and that this was ok. In fact, that is what keeps life interesting. We talked about the different "gods" out there from God to Allah. Then I tried to explain to her the difference between monotheistic and polytheistic religions (one god vs. many gods). I told her that monotheistic religions were like Wal-Mart... There was one place you could go for everything, much like Christians pray to one God for world peace, rain, spiritual salvation, and a smaller tush. Polytheistic was like shopping at a specialty shop. Say you need really good shower gel and soap? Well, go to Bath & Body. You need organic flax-seed cereal? Head to the whole foods mart! Desire a sushi appetizer? You most certainly don't go to the Wally for sushi!

--The Milk Maid is labeled Dry Clean Only


I Need Some Of Those Rabbit Batteries!

Raise your hand if you read the title of this blog and immediately thought I was going to blog about something dirty. Raise your hand now if you are disappointed that I am NOT going to blog about vibrators. I'm counting these hands people... I can always go to the gutter for inspiration (it is too easy sometimes!).

I am ExHaUsTeD! It has been One Of Those Days...

Ava decided not to nap-- At all. I had to redo a whole freakin database for Konetta because I used a program that is not compatible with her operating system (without a $149 upgrade). I ran all over town looking for the specific brand of dog food for Zeus which only one pet store 30 miles away had. My father told me I should be "more patient" for no particular reason at all. I was in the yard talking about the llama when he just came out of the blue and said, "You need to work on your patience!". I was all, Whaaat?! Llama food being on sale does not equal the patience lecture. Perhaps I should write father another letter.

And because Meg tagged me here are 6 more random things about me... and they are very random. Almost as random as this link for car covers.

1- My right pinkie toe nail does not like to grow. It's very stubby. This runs on my dad's side of the family.
2- My right pinkie finger is permanently bent all whonkie and wont straiten out. My mother closed it in a car door when I was 3. I cried for her to open the door, but she didn't believe my finger was really in it until we got to my grandmother's house (half a mile) and my finger was the size of a hot dog. Yes- really.
3- Things I've had pierced: Belly button, ears (3 holes in lobes and one in the cartilage. Jef pierced my cartilage for me the last time), nose. I wanted a nipple piercing once- I changed my mind.
4- I have extremely long fingers. My hands are smaller than Jef's, but my fingers are longer.
5-I have long toes too... so long in fact that my mother slammed my pinkie toe in the car door (I see a theme) but she actually believed me when I screamed and yelped that time.
6- I have 4 tattoos (so far). I have a sun/moon combo on my right hip, a bat on my lower back (my "battoo"), a tribal rose vine deal under the bat, and Charlie Brown on my left butt cheek. I'm planning the next tat!

--The Milk Maid seems to have a body mod fetish!


That Little Black Dress...

...that hangs at the back of my closet started calling my name this weekend. It is time to get serious about losing some weight.

I suppose my dieting decision has a little bit to do with the Company Shin-Dig memo Jef brought home. A fancy-schmancy dinner at a swanky hotel with "Professional Portraits Offered" makes me cringe at the thought of seeing myself in 2-D. Then again, perhaps it was the way Jef looked longingly at Sandra Lee's ginormous boobs svelte figure as he watched Fo*d Network this weekend. Or was it my sweet man looking at then later describing in grand detail the "fine ass" of a waitress at H00ters that pushed me over the edge? It could have been Kim Kar-whatever-ian in Playb*y I thumbed past (as I was reading the articles!) that put the final nail in my plus-sized coffin.

Let's just say whatever it was, I woke up this morning with the determination I needed to see my goal through. I had one last all-out-fast-food-heart-attack-in-a-sack-breakfast for a farewell, and now I'm walking the line to peeling off a few pounds.

Oatmeal, whole grain cereal, salads, and veggies are my new friends. Water is my elixir of power. Exercise will set me free!

I have a little over a month to shed enough weight and inches and be able to fit into The Dress.

I have decided not to torture myself with weighing on a scale. Numbers make me crazy, and all that matters is that The Dress fits and I feel good in it. I will try on The Dress once a week- most likely on Fridays- and give a progress report as to how it fits. I might even take photos of my progress.

--The Milk Maid says blinders for men are a great investment!


Just Another Saturday

Jef is working again... perhaps next Saturday he can take off a day. He's been so busy catching everything up at the new job that he needs more hours in the day just to complete the basics, let alone everything else. But, when it all boils down, he is happy and so am I. We make the time we have together really count.

I have been keeping busy though. I went last night to pick out a fluffy dog bed for Zeus, get some dog food and some cottage cheese and yogurt. Yes, all of that is for Zeus. The guy I bought Zeus from (who needs a WHOLE post just dedicated to his quirkiness) said the added protein was beneficial to his growth, etc. So, the dog eats way better than I do. And has more vitamins that I do. Lucky fella.

We had yet another snuggle-fest on the couch with Z last night. A snuggle-fest that quickly turned into a slumber party when Jef suggested we put Zeus to bed with us. I finally had to roll the big oaf out of a deep slumber this morning at around 8am when Ava decided to wake up. I swear, this dog is heaven sent. Whatever I say, he's up for- especially sleep!

Pic of the day:
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Special Edition Friday Mish-Mash

Welcome Zeus, our newest family member:
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Doberman, 12 weeks old-- Looking sassy in his head gear!

Ava and I drove to South Carolina yesterday (over 400 miles round trip) to pick up this little (haha, little) guy. The first time we saw the pup, he walked right past me to give Ava a big ol' slurpy kiss on the face. She was instantly smitten, as was I.

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"If we put our heads together and think for a minute I feel like we can conquer the evil known as the Baby Gate!"

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Gotta find just the right spot!

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Zeus was resting... Ava was about to drop a toy down for him to play with.

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It looks like Zeus knocked Ava over, but in reality Ava just was trying to pet the dog with her feet. I have no idea why.

Last night, before crashing into bed and sleeping like I have not slept in ages, Zeus curled up in my arms in the sofa and didn't move until I made him go outside to potty.

Welcome home buddy!

--The Milk Maid was up to something GOOD!


Exit To Woden?

Woden is the Scandinavian God of Wednesday.

I know this because I have been on God Checker all morning. I've always been a fan of mythology, and that website is fuel for curiosity! Need to call on the god of lettuce before making that salad (what IS in the lettuce today? One never knows!)? Need to beg the god of vomit to just make it stop? Of course you can scour the Holy Database for gods of sex, chocolate, and virginity too! Although I don't know anyone in this circle that would need the god of virginity... unless you were just saying Hi to an old friend.

Not much has been happening around here as of late. Ava has a bad case of the sniffles. I am really not so sure it is a cold, as much as it is her second top tooth coming through. The top teeth have been a BITCH to get through for her. But, either way, we spent half the night on the couch snuggling. She is feeling a little peppier this morning.

I have imbibed a large latte thus far, and there has yet to be pep in my step. I need to get my fanny in gear today- clean the house, buy an additional baby gate for the stairs, make a few purchases at the pet store, clean out my car, and stuff like that. I also need a wad of storage boxes to pack away some crap that has been lying around since... (:::The Milk Maid is shuffling thru papers and pictures and goodness knows what else under her desk:::)... Oh lordy, crap that has been here collecting dust since 2001. That's got to go. This place looks like the Augean Stables!

--The Milk Maid is up to something!


Ready For Today

Bring it on!
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Gut Punched

Wow, November already, huh? Where did the year go?

In case I hadn't informed you (or let it slip out, however we're phrasing that today) November was the month that Jef and I were gearing up for TTC again. With the job change, and ensuing lack of insurance coverage (well, we have Cobra temp insurance, but it will all change again 3 months from now), Jef's magical kidneys and their issues, and just a slew of other stuff- like life in general, my school commitment after the first of the year, 2 very rambunctious kids, my renewed love of karate, the alignment of the stars and the moon and the sun and Mars and..., and oh yeah- some one being a little wishy-washy on the subject of "more baby" (that'd be me this time)- I guess we sort of let it slip out of sight for a while.

Even with everything that is going on right now, knowing that this wouldn't be The Month kind of hit me somewhere near that string of nerves that goes "AWWWW" when I see a tiny baby being clutched ever so tight by his mommy.

I mentioned this to Jef, and with him being my center and my calmness and my light and my everything, he said his sorrys many times over. But I wasn't looking for sorry. I am not sure what I was looking for, actually. I know he and I are on the same path together... and I know we will get there.

I just didn't expect a brief delay to hit me where it did, and as hard as it did. One day I wake up only to find myself getting gut punched by a very large force-- time.

I'm not depressed about it, by any means, so please don't even think that. I suppose all this made me realize that, even with 2 children there is still a hole that needs to be filled by a tiny little person.

--The Milk Maid says, "Siiiigh."


The Friday Mish-Mash

Don't really know WHY I bother to keep up with the days of the weeks really... other than for Friday Mish-Mash. It's all one big Groundhog Day here lately, and I'm just not feeling as peppy as Bill Murray today.

Ava graced us with her (screaming) presence at 4am. Do you know what the "0" in 0400 hours stands for?... Oh gosh it's early! I nursed her for about 30 minutes while she beat me on the head, then finally caved and got up. Around 5:30 I convinced her to go back to sleep, and I followed suit. Of course when the phone rang at 6:45 (it was my personal alarm clock, Big J) I was not ready to get up. So I whacked snooze (he agreed to call me back in 10 minutes) and went right back to sleep. Even after he called again and I faked my being awake thru a ten minute phone call, I still didn't want to get up. So another 10 minutes passed before I dragged myself out of bed, got Faith dressed for school, got Ava back up, and started our day.

It's kind of gone downhill from there- I had some pictures printed and they looked like crap. I went to a grocery store and forgot my member's card and had to pay $1 more for lip balm and that just really pissed me off. The little things like that get me... sigh.

Well, I could sit here and bitch all day I suppose, but instead I will go do something productive like read 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King. And a little laundry too. Maybe clean the kitchen.

Haiku Friday
(Click me to go to Play Groups Are No Place For Children!)
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Hope no rookies show
At karate class tonight.
Feel like kicking ass.
--The Milk Maid is churning today.


Go ahead, be a boob!

Let me go ahead and insert my standard disclaimer here before I get rolling:

Just because I have chosen to breastfeed my child (and blog about it) does not in any way have any influence over how you should feed your kid. Be ye a breastfeeding mom or a formula feeding mom (or any other kind of "I feed my kid this way" mom) you are welcome here, and I respect your decision to feed your kiddo whatever, however, whenever, as much or as little as you want- as long as you respect the prevailing powers here at Milk-Induced Coma, which happen to be boob-affiliated. As always, I will answer any questions you may have about breastfeeding, but I am far from an expert on the topic. Even though Ava is nearing 14 months of boobie-bliss, I did quit bf-ing Faith when she was less than 6 weeks old (because it was hard, my nippies hurt, and no one was willing to offer any good advice). Read on, and enjoy:

After thirteen plus months of being asked WHEN WILL YOU WEAN AVA... answered each time with a snarky "possibly never", I have come to the realization that maybe, just maybe (a little bit), I would like my boobs to be all mine again.

I have always said that as long as Ava is happy at the breast (and not in elementary school or driving or able to recite poetry and prose) then I am happy with her there. But since those top teeth came in last week, along with the new super-suction trick she has learned, I am reconsidering that original thought just a wee bit.

It's been a long and winding milk-splattered road. This traveler is weary from the miles. So why do I feel SOOOO guilty when I run the idea of encouraging Ava to stop bf-ing thru my mind?

Ava only hits the milk bar about 2 or 3 times a day now. Some days it is one time, some days she just wants to be close and may snack 5 or 6 times, or more. I know it is 98% comfort, 1% something tasty, and 1% old habit at this point. Sure, there is still a nutritional value she gains from nursing, but I'm not her soul source of vitamins, minerals, and all kinds of goodies any more.


Pardon me while I straddle the closest fence and ride out my decision...

(and think about something fun like bathroom vanities)

--The Milk Maid says, but will I still be the Milk Maid?