Friday Mish-Mash Of Stuffs

I've lost 11 lbs...

We're doing a weight loss challenge at work where we've joined teams and are competing for a pot o' cash come April 24th. My team is in 2nd place!

The weight loss comes a lot easier when the people you are around all day are going for the same goal as you are.

Speaking of work, I've become The Baby Sticker. No, I don't have an adhesive backing and cling to small toddlers with a cartoon face. I am the go to girl for venous draws on babies. I'm proud to have this title, although it comes with a lot of expectation. So far my youngest baby I've drawn is a 4 day old. I usually make a victory lap upon completion of the draw which is peppered with lots of WHOOO-WHOOOOs and butt shaking.

I'm working tomorrow and Sunday. I'm a glutton for punishment I do suppose, but you can't look a gift horse in the mouth, nor can I ignore the ching-ching sound of overtime.


Jef has a new job in sales that he loves. It's commission based, but if he makes one sale a week (out of a potential 15 or more) he will make more than he made at his last job. Every one say a little prayer that things will continue to look up for Big J and the fam-damily in this adventure!

Welp me chicas- that's about all she wrote for the Mish-Mash!

--The Milk Maid says she got the call and rallied hard!

Friday Mish-Mash, The Return

It's been too damn long since I Mish-Mashed people!

My Pal B called me as I was doing the Flight Of The Bumble Bee Clean Up Dance around my house. Needless to say, if I don't have the time for blogging I sure as hell don't have the time to clean house. Anyways, Faith's friend Baileigh* came to spend the night. Seeing as how my children tend to keep their own agenda like the tiny rock stars they think they are, when the idea of Faith going to Baileigh's house to spend the night came up (you know, while I was slammed at work, my dad was watching the girls at the local inflatable bouncy play place, and in general there was a screw loose somewhere in the cosmos) it sounded like a fine idea to me.

*Baileigh is a better name than Courtennay, but still get's minus 2 points for too many letters and minus 5 points for looking just plain weird. Sorry if this is your kid's name- remember my mind is simple and so are my kids names. I know what MY name is- shut it. At least my name isn't "Siren H00ker"- long story, true story, maybe next blog I'll elaborate.

Lo and behold (isn't that always a phrase used to precursor something completely shitty happening?) there was a hitch. Baileigh's mom was going to come to My House to pick up the girls.

My House people. The house that hasn't been cleaned properly (well except for the Seasoned Salt incident) in... well, longer than I'm willing to admit. I plead the Fifth (and I considered drinking one too).

So, as I was throwing clothes and junk in closets cleaning the phone rings and it's B. Chaos echoed through the background as Faith, Baileigh, and Ava (and later on Zeus and Chip) all collaborated to ensure the decibel level in The Casa De Leche was hovering somewhere around the range the Concord would have made (or to be more realistic, at least as loud as Jef used to snore). In this conversation B suggested a glass of wine.

My only question was how to get the children to drink it and not complain about the taste.

--The Milk Maid says a bird in the hand will only dook on you.

One Of Those Friday Mish-Mash Kinda Days

Been a while, hasn't it gang?

I'm having one of those days- you know, where you can't decide whether to pull your hair out and scream or dance, sing a silly song, and burp the alphabet.

I think I would most like to be laying on a sofa bed, somewhere about 1000 miles west of here, deciding what I want for dinner and having some girl-talk time with my peeps B&K. I've felt really secluded the past month and a half, and it's mostly because I dove head first into my clinicals. I wish I had some IRL friends that weren't two-faced hypocrites, but that's another story and another woe for another day.

I am still trying to round up contacts and former employers and dates and times and my bra size from 8 years ago (that would be easier than half the shit they are wanting, truth be told) for the HR lady (whose last name rhymes with marijuana). That's just irony in itself people, because I have not met a bigger buzz kill in say FOREVER. She's very needy and not so bright. Sigh- the things we do for gainful employment.

Faith's new nickname is Captain Obvious. With comments like, "Mom that man is cutting grass with his lawnmower!" and "Do you think it's hot outside because the temperature is so high?" let's just say she's earned the moniker.

--The Milk Maid says stinky feet, the game that's neat!

xbox 360

The Case Of The Missing Sister Mish-Mash

Thursday night a little after 9pm the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Jef's sister D's number. I handed him the phone, thinking the call would be something about the upcoming move that Jef's dad will be making or other brotherly/sisterly based conversation.

Within a few seconds I realized by the look on Jef's face that this call was very, very different. It was Bro Mikey calling (D's hubby). D was supposed to pick their son up from the airport at 3. She'd sent their son a text saying she was running a little behind. D never showed up at the airport; no one had heard from her in person since noon.

We all feared the worst.

Jef's brother, Ronny, passed away just over a year ago. D has a history of seizures. Our minds raced- what could have happened?! A heart attack, a stroke, a seizure-- was she carjacked in the middle of downtown Atlanta?

Needless to say, we didn't sleep a wink that night awaiting the news of Deby's fate.

The next morning on the way to grab breakfast Jef's cell phone rang. My heart sank. I didn't want to hear the news that I was certain awaited. I didn't want to see Jef's eyes well with tears and his heart break over the loss of his sister.

D was safe and sound... and I have never been so happy to hear that someone had spend the night in jail.

The rest of the story is still unfolding, but it is claimed that D's transgressions were just a case of a simple mix up. Only time will tell... And jailbird or not I'm glad as heck she's ok!

--The Milk Maid says roast your jailbird at 425 degrees for one hour for best flavor.

FRYday Mish-Mash

Summer is in full swing here in the ATL! Kids are in the pool or splashing through sprinklers, gardens are growing, and parents who forgot their daily dash of d.o. are freaking out their kids with well timed headlocks. That's the rumor at least.

Jef and I are still enjoying the marital blissathon that is his temporary unemployment! However, an old pal of Jef's owns a motorcycle shop nearby and is down a few men. One well timed phone call later, Jef has an interview and a solid chance at getting the position. Everyone cross your fingers and hold your breath. Well, just hold it for like 10 seconds or so-- I may be CPR certified, but chances are I'm not that close in location to you. And I like you. So don't pass out and die on me, mmm k?

--The Milk Maid says blow my mind, not my cover!

leptovox

Just Another Friday Mish-Mash

Jef was supposed to go back to work yesterday, but the boss-dude called and said to wait until Friday (they were trying to work stuff out). Well, they didn't want him to come in today either. So I don't know if he really has a job or what the hell is going on.

Dad snapped my head off this morning because I'm apparently "very snappy" these days. Maybe I am very snappy, but I don't need that pointed out in every single conversation we have. And just FYI dad- when you start the conversation off by saying how snappy I am, well I'm going to really be a bitch then.

I have my last 2 A&P tests by Sunday and if I can make it out of that class with a B average I'll be just thrilled. Just freakin' thrilled. I'm seriously doubting at this point I will make it out with the B I currently have, seeing as how the class average is below failing (well below) on both tests. I'm half tempted to just open the tests, take them and just be over it. But noo- I have some sense of moral obligation to do well and apply myself. Sometimes I really hate that about me.

--The Milk Maid is just a poor little pork chop living in a steak's world.

medigap

Hot-Hot-Hot Friday Mish-Mash

As we age, strange things happen to our bodies. As we have children, the oddities grow by leaps and bounds. Strange hairs suddenly appear on areas that were formerly bare, acne improves or worsens- depending on your skin type, and the occasional hot flash may begin to creep up on you like a four year old with a garden hose leaving you soaked from your head to the creases behind your knees.

I've been privy to all of the above (and more, trust me- so much more), but the worst part of it all has to be the hot flashes. Take one part post-pregnancy hormones, add in a heaping cup of breastfeeding for 19 months (oh sure you stop bf-ing thinking you'll be free of all that jazz but NOooOooo), shake that around with an 86 degree day with 99% humidity and what do ya get?

A little something like this:

"Turn off the A/C!! It's a little cold in here woman!"

--The Milk Maid says what's YOUR caption for Ava?

maybe she can warm up on this exercise equipment! we can hook Ava up to a tread mill and power the whole house... like a hampster in a wheel, round and round she'll go. neighbors will come from miles around to see her, bring her an energy bar, and beg to lease her out for themselves. "PLEEEZE they will beg- let me borrow that kiddo for my house. i need four jobs just to pay the electric bill. pooey and poo poo poo!"

Friday Mish-Mash, She's Come Undone

Faith came down the steps from her room in a huff.

"The shoes don't fit my feeeeeet!" she wailed as she flopped her extremities like a breathless bass on a dock.

I informed her that those were the only pair of shoes here that fit her, and that she had let the insane person who lives next door my mother confiscate her clogs (mother feels that clogs are evil, yet she has bought Faith 3 pair of them in the past 6 months). I asked Faith to "wear the shoes to school for 30 minutes- only 30 minutes!". I promised to bring her a different pair once my mother had gotten out of bed. Seeing as how I am one to let sleeping parents lie, I wasn't about to blast her out of bed at 7:15am.

Faith looked at me like I had asked her to gnaw her own arm off, place the severed limb in her teeth, and then dance in circles singing Polly Waddle Doodle All The Day.

Having been through many a morning crisis, I knew that tears were imminent. The feeling of a 10 year old girl having a morning melt down is akin to a tornado brewing and the smell of ozone rising in the air. Wait for it... Wait for it...

"I (sobsobsob) kuuu-haaant (sobsobsob) POSSIBLY (wail whine sobsobsob) wear (sob) these shooooooooooze (high pitched keen).... (sobsobsob) they are (huffandpuff) touching my FEET!!!"

I looked at my hands to see if my eyeballs had fallen out of my skull. They hadn't. I waited for my head to explode like a rocket off of my shoulders. It didn't. I looked at Faith like she was the most irrational human being on the face of the planet. She was.

I calmly called and woke my mother up and got Faith a pair of shoes- that didn't touch her feet!- to wear for the day. Faith snubbed all the way to school (that's when you are crying and you keep sucking in air trying to stop crying but you cant so your suck in air and try to stop crying but you cant so you...).

--The Milk Maid says the shoooooze are touching my feeeeeeeeeeet!

(Maybe I can make a movie of this and pass out Blockbuster coupons to all my peeps!)

The 'This IS My Happy Face' Friday Mish-Mash

There have been so many let downs, so many heartbreaks and incidents, and so many hurt feelings in my little blogosphere this week. I had two choices this morning when it became blog-time: Write a sappy heart-felt blog or write something humorous. I vote that laughter is the best medicine, so here we go people- picking up where I left off Tuesday with Ava's adventure in stitches:

Ava is healing quite well from her slip-n-slide fiasco. Thanks for all the well wishes! On the doc's advice I have been keeping a little gauze roll bandage over the stitches since she wants to pull them out (ugg). The has only tried to gnaw thru the gauze twice so far, and we have managed to avoid putting one of those plastic collar thingies around her neck.

Wednesday, around our 5 o'clock snack time, Ava was following me to the kitchen for a pack of crackers and a drink. I make the turn at the counter to see Ava do her best "John Ritter, Three's Company" style pratfall. Seriously people, it was hilariously funny- her little feet just going like mad, her arms waving about! Unfortunately, she fell flat on her face and busted her lip open. She bled all over the floor, all over my new white shirt, all over the cat who came to try and figure out what the hell was happening. Ava isn't too worse for wear luckily.

Chip says hello by the way:

This morning is the only day I don't have school this week, so I used my free time to run a few errands like going to the dump, grabbing a few necessities at Tar.get and grabbing some dog food at the pet store. Ava has decided she will NOT ride in the buggy (that's a shopping cart for you Yanks) at the store. Try your best to picture me lugging a 29 pound Ava over one shoulder (kicking and screaming) and a 40 pound bag of dog food over the other shoulder (it held quite still luckily) as I tried to unlock the car via remote by only using my teeth.

--The Milk Maid says walrus gumbo and CAT5e!

Once Again, Friday Mish-Mash

Because I am the BEST WIFE EVER... at least of all the previous Mrs. Big J's... I decided to something very special for my dearest Jef.

No it wasn't anything like that. Get out of the gutter people!

I decided- after Jef mentioned one of his favorite childhood memories- to bake him cookies. No, not just any cookies (why would it be that simple?). These cookies had to be just like the cookies a friend of Jef's mom used to make for him once a year, on his birthday, and wrapped up in a shoe box just for Jef. Jef wouldn't share the cookies with his siblings, and he would nibble away slowly, savoring each and every crumbly morsel of these magical cookies.

I thought about giving the special cookies a go for a while. I'm not much of a baker, you see. I'm much more comfortable weilding a large kitchen knife. I occasionally even use said knife while I'm actually cooking (harharhar you laugh).

The problem with the cookies comes in here with Jef's description:

They are thin, but cake-like. And have thin chocolate icing that is crisp and it holds them together!

"Huh?!", says me. A cookie is a cookie is a cookie. Right?



Jef finally uttered the magical phrase to inspire my inner cookie-baking goddess to emerge:

You would be completely perfect if you could make these cookies!

The last time I heard that phrase uttered (and I already know I am completely perfect, so no one has to fret or dwell on that any longer- ok?) was when he begged me to make potato pancakes (or tater patties) "just like mom used to make". I was all, "Ohhh, so it's a challenge now. I can do that!".

And I did... K can tell you just how perfect the potato pancakes are.

Back to the cookies.... I made them. They were thin (but not thin enough) and they were definately cake-like. The chocolate icing didn't turn out too well, but it was ok. Siiiigh.

He enjoyed the effort at least!

Which means I don't have to use my big bad knife on him.

--The Milk Maid says pack it up and send it off (in your brand new Johnston and Murphy no doubt!)

I'll Have My Mish-Mash Now

I seriously debated mish-mashing today. I seem to be a little moody. A little crisp around the edges. Perhaps crisp all the way through. I'm grouchy. And I don't know why!

I've been moody for a few days now. Snippy snap this, snippy snap that. Little things, big things, red things, blue things, false things, true things. Dr. Seuss things!

I'm feeling better now, let me say, and kthx for asking.

I am partially better because Jef's asshole boss- short ex-Marine with attitude- got fired today. He's been walking a thin line, and something about the tens of thousands of dollars the service department lost over the past few months made the Big Boss cut him loose today. Jef's goal of outlasting short ex-Marine with attitude has been attained, and we will see where we go from here... I'm 100% positive it will be in the direction of up up UP!

It's a nasty and rainy day today. We are expecting hail and thunderstorms, and after the last bought of shit-weather, well- I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. Of course we will have horrid weather- I have an online A&P test this weekend! It's a timed test, as all of them will be, and you get 2 minutes per question max. There is no going back to change answers. And if you get locked out because of the internet going down or whatever then you are just "screwed" per Teacher In Need Of Makeup. Ahh, the joys of skool.

--The Milk Maid says here's your Mish-Mash K!

Just Another Friday Mish-Mash

For as long as I can remember children have always seemed to come out of the blue to talk to me. I could be shopping or reading a book at the park or even in the middle of a store that caters to adults in the mall (like Teavana- yum!) and some small person with big eyes and lots to chat about will find me. I don't know if I just have a friendly face or perhaps it is because I look motherly or what it is that attracts these children to me. It could very well be that I have a disproportionately large head and the kids think I'm some cartoon character come to life. Whatever the reason is, I can promise you that where ever I go, they will find me.

*

A prime example is today at a local fast food joint we shall call Chick-Fil-$. I take Ava to the playground and not 45 seconds later here comes a tiny little girl with painted finger and toe nails, glossy green sandals, a fantastically white outfit that is embroidered with red flowers, and a 4 pound red bow clipped into her hair at such an angle I thought surely it must be a struggle for her to walk without listing to one side.

*

The first thought that ran through my mind as Over-Coiffed Tiny Girl made her entrance to the play area was Oh shit... I'm going to have to talk to this kid.

*

I'll be honest here- I have no desire to spend an hour making small talk with a pint-sized peewee. I have learned from vast experience that I just don't have that much in common with a 3 year old (sans the occasional temper tantrum). I'm anti-social with adults on the best days, and with strange children well- you can imagine how this all went down right?....

*

Over-Coiffed Tiny Girl (bursting into the room): Hi!!! My name is Anna Kate Gracie*, but you can call me Anna Kate.

Me (in my signature monotone style): Why not Gracie?

OCTG: Oh because my mother and grandmother's names are Gracie and it would be very hard to know WHO we were talking to.

Me: So I guess it is good you have lots of other first names then.

OCTG: We saw "Horton And A Who" today. It was really funny because they had this flower and they played with it and Horton And a Who was an elephant!!

Me (sipping tea, eyeballing the kid warily): Neeto.

OCTG (relentless): My mom is really smart. She took me to her work one day and let me draw a picture for her. My mom is really smart.

Me (starting to get antsy): Where is your mom?

OCTG: She's right outside (yelling) MOM MOM MOM HEY HEY HEY MOM! There's my mom. She's smart. And that is her friend Miss Olga, she smells pretty.

Me: (fakes a smile, wishing for Ava to climb down from the top of the slide area and save me!) Ohhh.

OCTG: Your kid is small. How old is she? Can she talk? Why does she scream so loud? Can you make her stop screaming? She's really loud. What is her name? What is her middle name? What is her third name?

Me: You mean last name?

OCTG (looking at me like I am the most stupid person on earth): Nooooo- her THIRD name!

Me: Oh look at the time! Bye!

*

*

*I swear I couldn't make that up if I tried

*

*

--The Milk Maid says my ears, my ears- someone save my ears!

Tagged Again Mish-Mash

Because I am a glutton for punishment nice person I allowed K to tag me for a 6 Word Memoir.

The Six Word Memoir rules are:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag six more blogs with links. (I'm not tagging anybody- if you want to play then have at it)
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

And the 6 Word Memoir for me:

One step forward, three steps back.

*

Here are a few that didn't make the cut (all for fun of course):

* Hey I got tagged for something!

* Trapped in my thoughts, release me.

* Kidneys and babies don't mix fuckers.
* Everyday is stupid groundhog day, again.
* My head is in my ass.
~~~~~


Enlightened yet?
~~~~~


--The Milk Maid says please release me, let me go!

The I Almost Forgot It Was Friday Mish-Mash

Today feels like Tuesday people! I have been so off this week. I blame it on not having school Wednesday. My final exam in Med Term is Monday- I'm ready to get it over and done with!

In other news: Our new Tar.get opened this week! Whoooo! This thing is huge AND it has a Star.bucks! Or maybe the Star has a Tar.get? They are both so equally huge, I couldn't decide.

I am picking up K this afternoon at her hotel in Atlanta and stealing her away from her teacher conference duties for the rest of the day! As most of you will recall (rather hazily for some of you) K was part of the gathering had in Houston last weekend. I'm sure our evening will consist of just chilling out and chatting B up on the cell phone! B- I promise to return your gal to ya safe and sound sometime tomorrow. Big J will be at the helm to get her to the airport safely and on time, so she's in good hands all around!

The Great Baby Discussion of 2008 has flared up again. Pending a couple of details, we might be putting our TTC hats on sooner rather than later. Details are to follow, of course. However, seeing that my ovaries and uterus are very shy (I feel them blushing now) the ins and outs blow by blow comings and goings happenings will be kept mostly under wraps on this blog. I've got a dedicated site in the works, and as soon as the place is spiffied up I'll call everyone in for the ribbon cutting ceremony!

Not a lot else is going on around the humble abode gang- I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

--The Milk Maid says she keeps her book by Mimi Smartypants on top of a stun gun and she uses these little cheap eyeglasses to see the fine print!

MAMU Friday Mish-Mash

Hi-Ho peeps! In a few short hours a band of miscreants friends will converge on the city of Houston. I'm glad to be a part of the fray group, and for the faces (or images that represent faces for some of you) that will be missing- well, if we have your phone number we will most certainly drunk dial call you! If we don't have your digits, rest assured you will be with us in spirit!

I can only imagine the scene at the airport when B pulls up in her ghetto jeep (her words, not mine) and the faces of the crowd as she holds up a sign with our last name on it... wearing a Santa suit (or maybe she went for the Easter Bunny costume?)... I grab my jet black wig from my carry on bag, slap on some Paris Hilton style sunglasses that cover most of my head and we zoom towards a weekend of fun!

But first, I think we will stop and take the time to bond. We've become so close, and now we finally meet. In my mind the scene will look something like this:

--The Milk Maid says party on Wayne!

HDMI sounds like fun!

The You've Been Tagged Friday Mish-Mash

Charlie bit me!

Oh- no, I mean B tagged me for a ridiculous meme and I will only comply because of that whole free room and board setup.

The Rules:
1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.

My Book: The Sex and Music Issue of Play.boy from March 2006...

Nope- wait. Page 123 has NO words (I dig the red leather boots though).

My (revised) Book: A Salty Piece of Land by Jimmy Buffett

"Somehow I had clicked into survival mode and had begun to think quite clearly. The first thing that came to my mind was that we were not moving. Then I heard Wilton's voice. I opened my eyes to see Wilton Stilton sitting in the driver's seat. The winner of the Miss Mullet Wet T-shirt Contest was sitting on his lap."

Now I tag Dooce, Mimi Smartypants, Papa Smurf, Mike Rowe, and Bob Marley!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm glad that most of you don't think I'm crazy over the kidney thing. We all have our trigger, and stuff like that is mine. I know, I know, it's like I live at 123 Pessimist Street, Real World, Earth, population 1 some days. I want to believe in miracles- every single damn day I just want to let go and believe- but the real me who has been pushed around and scorned and lied to so much can't let herself believe again. Belief involves trust. Trust is made to be broken. Perpetuation of the pattern. Just when I think the pattern is broken I realize it was all a trick. A trick to build me up and tear me down.

Sigh- ok, enough depressing crap.

Here's your happy of the day:

Chipper Gato, aka Chip

--The Milk Maid says nom nom nom.

Just Another Mish-Mash

It's Friday again peeps- Whooo!

I'm still all peppy and perky, but I've still not fully adjusted to the high that is happiness. I can even drive down the road have some guy pull out in front of me and only manage to yell, "You fart head!".

Could I be losing my edge? No, someone has stolen my cajones. Maybe I'm just getting too old to bark. Perhaps it's because my tax refund hit my account this morning? Who knows...

I have an appointment with Konetta this afternoon. I wonder if this is going to be the shot in the arm I was looking for. Nothing like getting your back rubbed and you hackles raised at the same time. Everyone remembers what she said last time, right?

Hackle makes me think of hyenas. But it should make me think of jackal.

Anywho gang... sorry for the lack of excitement as of late. I will just continue to accept it as a blessing and make the most of it~

~Have a fab weekend!

--The Milk Maid says kiss me goodnight, Eddie!

Milk Maid's Friday Mish-Mash

I would like to start off by saying Thank YOU to the person who googled "Sexy Milk Maids" and found me. I would like to follow up with a big I'm Sorry, because I don't think I had exactly what you were looking for here. Oh well!

Happy Friday all...

I say we wrap this week up with a little butcher's paper and some string and store it away in the basement somewhere- whew! I am exhausted, and my excitement is only beginning. Today will consist of packing for TN, getting Mr. Zeus off to the kennel, and remembering to pay a few bills... like the mortgage! Duh- let me not forget that!

I emailed my guidance counselor at school about pursuing my Practical Nursing Degree, and she thought it would be a lovely idea. So, unless I chicken out (totally possible) I will aim my class schedule towards that (along with the phleb-cert). My grants will only pay for one course at a time, but my phleb credits will transfer to the nursing. Ug- I wonder if I'm biting off more than I can chew with this, but I think that about everything. I over-analyze shit. Has anyone noticed? Yeah- probably so.

--The Milk Maid says scoot those beans over, I'm gonna put more on my plate!
gold chain

Very Fotogenic Mish-Mash

After checking with the cleaners- and learning it would cost me more than a king size comforter to have Ava dry cleaned- I decided to wear her out yesterday. We went to the micky d's, we went to Target, we went and went and went.

She napped for less than an hour after we got home.

However, after dinner (and after a brief visit from dad that sprung Ava from Crib Hell and her usual bedtime) this occured:

She was originally draped over the arm of the sofa, but gradually slid down down down to the more comfy cushion part.

As you can see, Jef thought he was hot stuff for getting her to sleep. I leave the room for one minute and the kid drops over in her tracks and it's HIS glory. I'll let him keep it.

Of course, this made me feel like this:

Because a sleeping baby means an early bedtime for mama and dada.

--The Milk Maid says she has artifical colors, but is 100% natural flavor.

The "Where Are We Going, And Why Am I In This Handbasket?" Friday Mish-Mash

Does any one else watch Hell's Kitchen? Does anyone find Gordon Ramsey attractive besides me? Sure, he needs a little forehead botox, but dont we all? A sexy chef with an accent and a temper-- hot y'all, hot!


In other news, the "Great Baby Talks of 2008**" has started up again.


**To my dearest underfertile/infertile friends... this is me asking you, especially if you are having a sensitive moment right now and want to eat my ovaries much like zombies would eat brains, to please refrain from reading the next paragraph and scroll down to where the RED WRITING is... that's where we can pick up, okie dokie? See you in a few...


Between Jef's friend Matt and his wife having a baby yesterday (the mostest cutest smallest sweetest babyiest boy named Brady- oh wee, oh weeweewee) and Jef sending me a picture of said cuteness AS I WAS READING the fabulous blog of RaJen which had preggie belly pics and baby clothes and blankies and... well, it was the kind of day where I truly felt like shaving all the hair off my body from the neck down, throwing on something that could be described as "sexy" and "see thru", and have Jef find me waiting at the door- hair tossled, slutty eye makeup perfectly applied, holding a Cosmo in one hand and a bottle of KY in the other.


That's how they make babies in the movies right?


For the rest of us who have to call and make an appointment and arrange for the Stork Express to carry us to our final destination, that's all pretty much a silly little fantasy. Anyway, the Stork's line was busy when I called... I took that as an omen to pass instead of play for a little while longer. Oh, that and the whole "I should probably mention this to Jef" thing. Which I totally would have... honest!


Ok- were back friends!


I have 2 Med Term tests next week- Monday and Wednesday. I'm actually feeling pretty confidant already! After those tests we move into male and female anatomical terms... Bring it, yo!


My Big J is getting off work early (we hope, we hope) to take me to dinner at the restaurant where we had our 1st date. I'm totally excited... I can't wait to have him all to myself for a few hours.


Zeus refrained from eating anyone at class last night. He is doing really great, and I will try to get a new picture up of him soon... he's growing up so fast!

I hope everyone has a nice weekend!


--The Milk Maid says you can't make a race horse out of a pig, but you can make a really fast pig!


engraved plaques