The Milk MEAD Does RenFest

MEAD: Honey Wine

After two bottles of this delectable libation at the Houston Renaissance Festival yesterday (shared with my Pal B, of course) I officially declared myself the Milk Mead!

Drunken debauchery, men in kilts taking photos of their bare genitalia, henna tattoos, steak on a stick, Mud Men, and K grounding us from any further alcohol were only some of the highlights of this weekend...

There was also drunk dialing, discussions (in depth) of Brazilian waxing, the whoring of Christoper Titus' comedy on You-Tube, drinking before noon, and the waking up of people who had to go to work today (late last night = getting yelled at).

Tomorrow is back to reality. I fly back home later tonight and leave H-town until a date to be announced much later.

I leave my friends B&K, I leave the city I've come to love, I leave company I am at home with.

-The Milk Maid says party on til next time Garth!

One Of Those Friday Mish-Mash Kinda Days

Been a while, hasn't it gang?

I'm having one of those days- you know, where you can't decide whether to pull your hair out and scream or dance, sing a silly song, and burp the alphabet.

I think I would most like to be laying on a sofa bed, somewhere about 1000 miles west of here, deciding what I want for dinner and having some girl-talk time with my peeps B&K. I've felt really secluded the past month and a half, and it's mostly because I dove head first into my clinicals. I wish I had some IRL friends that weren't two-faced hypocrites, but that's another story and another woe for another day.

I am still trying to round up contacts and former employers and dates and times and my bra size from 8 years ago (that would be easier than half the shit they are wanting, truth be told) for the HR lady (whose last name rhymes with marijuana). That's just irony in itself people, because I have not met a bigger buzz kill in say FOREVER. She's very needy and not so bright. Sigh- the things we do for gainful employment.

Faith's new nickname is Captain Obvious. With comments like, "Mom that man is cutting grass with his lawnmower!" and "Do you think it's hot outside because the temperature is so high?" let's just say she's earned the moniker.

--The Milk Maid says stinky feet, the game that's neat!

xbox 360

Firework Friday Mish-Mash

Happy 4th my peeps!

I'm in happy Houston for the long weekend... B&K have pretty much taken me hostage and are feeding me copious amounts of food, forcing me to imbibe far too much alcohol, making me sing and dance to Salt & Peppa songs, watch dirty comedy movies, and have a TERRIFIC time!

Today we head out for some adventure (to some undisclosed location).

Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!

--The Milk Maid says whatchu wanna do, I wanna shoop!

memory

I'll Take Peter, Paul, And Mary Songs For $500 Alex!

I'm leaving on a jet plane! No, really!!

A couple of weeks ago- after shutting down their blogs without TELLING me first, giving me a heart attack, making me has a sad, and then bribing me to stop whining- my pals B&K hatched a glorious scheme.

"Come to Houston, Milk Maid!" they echoed in happy harmony.

So, me being the clingy, needy wife that I am- who would never, ever leave her hubby for a long weekend trip to a city far, far away- promptly fooled all the doubters (B included) and booked a ticket to H-ton. Yes, really. Really, really.

So, for the past week or more, every single day (occasionally multiple times) my phone will ring or my email will bleep with the same question: Are you still coming?

Of course the answer is and always has been: Are you still sure you want me?

--The Milk Maid says kiss me and smile for me!

(Does colon cleanser work on commas?)

I'll Have My Mish-Mash Now

I seriously debated mish-mashing today. I seem to be a little moody. A little crisp around the edges. Perhaps crisp all the way through. I'm grouchy. And I don't know why!

I've been moody for a few days now. Snippy snap this, snippy snap that. Little things, big things, red things, blue things, false things, true things. Dr. Seuss things!

I'm feeling better now, let me say, and kthx for asking.

I am partially better because Jef's asshole boss- short ex-Marine with attitude- got fired today. He's been walking a thin line, and something about the tens of thousands of dollars the service department lost over the past few months made the Big Boss cut him loose today. Jef's goal of outlasting short ex-Marine with attitude has been attained, and we will see where we go from here... I'm 100% positive it will be in the direction of up up UP!

It's a nasty and rainy day today. We are expecting hail and thunderstorms, and after the last bought of shit-weather, well- I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. Of course we will have horrid weather- I have an online A&P test this weekend! It's a timed test, as all of them will be, and you get 2 minutes per question max. There is no going back to change answers. And if you get locked out because of the internet going down or whatever then you are just "screwed" per Teacher In Need Of Makeup. Ahh, the joys of skool.

--The Milk Maid says here's your Mish-Mash K!

Baby Llama Drama

We added 2 new animals to our collection last weekend... 2 female llamas! Their "real" names are Alexandra Grand and Fantasia. The names I call them are Alex and Fanta. The names Faith calls them are Oreo and Cookies and Cream. Ava calls the llamas "mamas" and "meme!". Jef just yells "Hey llamas!".

Here are photos of our new gals:

Llamas do this thing called cushing when they are being transported. All cushing means, simply enough, is laying down. Llamas are great travelers. I kept trying to convince Jef that we should take Murray (the male llama) for a ride inside of Jef's VW bus when we first got him . Jef thought I was insane. However, when the llama girls came rumbling up to our small farm in the back of a Chevy Astro van, Jef got to wipe that little smirk of doubt off his face.

So, what happens when you combine 2 female llamas and a male llama? Oddly enough, the male llama who'd been extremely docile for months turns into a RAGE of HORNEYNESS that has not been rivaled in this area for many, many (many) moons. As llamas are induced ovulators (um- how FREAKIN' convenient!) we are pretty sure that Murray has knocked up both females. The females, once bred, will spit at the male and then kick him if necessary. Pretty much the way humans act, I do say.

Anyways, approximately 11.5 months from now we should have 2 llama babies (cria) on the ground and frolicking about. Let's all bite our nails for the next year in anticipation *wink*.

If you didn't catch the title of my post it's an homage to my BFF peeps B & K... if you haven't seen their fantastic news then mosey on over and give them a big whooowhooo!

--The Milk Maid says K is the leader of the pack!