My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Themed Randomness

More sex dreams last night. Good lordy I am exhausted and in need of a shower upon rising in the morning. This one was about my mom's best friend's (who passed away) husband. He used to be old and chubby until I happened to walk by his house one day. I went inside and he turned into Jim Morrison. So of course I just had to have sex with him on the couch, what else is a girl supposed to do? After we were finished with our escapade, Jef walked in and said, "Nice work, Jim!". Then I sold Jim a t-shirt with HIS picture on it.

In other real world news:

Ava fell at Faith's tutor's house and busted her nose. It bled (on my new shirt of course), but she got over it quickly. Faith, however, is still talking about the incident.

Speaking of Faith, she had to decorate a mini-pumpkin for school. Instead of a pumpkin, she choose a squash-shaped gourd. His name is Gordon, he is from Jamaica but speaks with an Australian accent and wears a kilt. He was supposed to wear overalls, but I am not that adept at sewing, let along sewing something that has straps for a being with NO SHOULDERS. My advice to anyone with a 1 inch neck and a 5 inch wait is wear a very high waisted dress.

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Hey-Ho! It's Halloween! Jef has to work late and close out the month, so it will be an all girls trick or treat fest tonite. I might even don a costume and grab up a little candy for myself. I always keep a few wigs on hand... just in case I ever need to skip the country or gas up my car anonymously or anything of the sort.

Did she just say she keeps wigs on hand to gas up her car anonymously?

Yes. Yes I did say that exact thing. Sometimes I will put on a wig and makeup to go gas up my car or buy milk or something random like that JUST to see if anyone knows it is me. And so far they haven't noticed it was me. Not even that time I ran into my dad. Think I am joking?....

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-The Milk Maid says Trick or Treat!!

Anyone wanna do the Las Vegas thing?


Another Weird Dream

Setting: Local supermarket

General Gist of Dream: Sex

The Low-Down: Pushing my cart thru the local P*blix I spy a rather handsome man at the end of a long isle near the produce department. I immediately rip my clothes off, the random man runs towards me (who looks a little bit like Joshua Morrow from Y&R) and we jump nude into a pile of lettuce.

I ponder: Does this mean I need to have more sex, or should I add healthier food to my diet? Should I even attempt to make a tuna salad joke in my blog?

--The Milk Maid said at least is isn't Mario Batalli


Better Late Than Never Friday Mish Mash

I have a good reason for saving the ole blogger until this late hour, really I do. Actually, I have two good reasons:

#1: Most of my day was consumed shopping. Jef and his magical disappearing waist-line can no longer keep his old pants on and his ever-shrinking tummy makes his old XL shirts look like a hot air balloon. So off I went to K*hls- and home I came with deeply discounted merchandise that would make any heart sing at the low, low price I paid for it all. Imagine 2 pair of dress pants, 3 dress shirts, and a box of 10 assorted picture frames all for $48!!

The remainder of my afternoon was spend watching Ava steal from my spice cabinet and take each little seasoning treasure she found to the laundry room to hide it (that's my first choice as to where the garlic powder should be stored too, in case you were curious). She played this game for 2 hours before I got ready for reason number...

#2: I went to karate. Finally. I loved the ladies class- basically because I was the most experienced belt in there, but also because I got to break stuff and toss people around like rag-dolls. I have a lot of pent up energy. Perhaps I'm a tad competitive. Perhaps also I am aggressive, but just a smidge. Just don't ever spar with me unless you really know what you are doing, ok? I will be sore tomorrow, but today it was all very well worth my grand effort.

--The Milk Maid says jab-high punch-hook-upper cut! Kai-yah!!



Jef and I recently had a discussion on getting another dog.

"No more weenie dogs for us!" we both proclaimed. Something bigger. Something more substantial. Something a lot scarier! Haha- that would be pretty much any dog larger than a doxie, right?

We also agreed to fence the backyard before getting another dog. If Perspective Puppy ("PP") will potty train and not pee on the couch like Buster, then PP will most definitely be a house dog. But taking into account the breed we are considering (I'll keep this a surprise for now) it will most definitely need room to romp and play.

I am in the process of contacting breeders to make sure my due diligence is complete. A good friend of mine owns a dog and puppy manners center, so that part is lined up too. I actually found the perfect breeder with the perfect pups with perfect everything included- even basic obedience and crate training before leaving her home... but no litters are expected until mid-2008. And being such a patient person as I am... stop laughing, I really am patient!... that's just a little longer than I'd hoped to wait. SIGH!

(Maybe call all my posts of the following nature my "dog food fund" from now on!):

Attention please! Do you need intranet software for your business? If you said yes, then Epazz software may be for you! Check them out at the link above, as they offer a 30-day free trial of their software. Seamless integration, improve your work flow, enhance communication between managers and employees! One point secured access - yay! And much, much more! Epazz works with you from start to finish!

With all that said and done, I would like to mention that I fixed the other toilet yesterday with no muss and no fuss! Go me! I am for hire for all your plumbing needs- and I work cheep, usually a good meal I don't have to cook will suffice as payment.

Oh, and back to the topic of dogs... what kind of dogs does everyone out there have (breed wise). Did you go thru a breeder, the pound, a rescue organization?? Feel free to leave a nice long message here all about your pups~ :D

--The Milk Maid is considering building an ark. Now if we could get a little rain...!


Potty Humor

I decided to adventure into the realms of being a plumber yesterday and fix my own toilet.

You see, last week before vacation both of our accessible* downstairs toilets broke (good ole Murphy's Law!) . The water kept running and running and wouldn't shut off, and considering our local water reservoir has already made news due to its lack of water and Governor Perdue is asking for federal aid, it was just easier to turn the water off and worry with repairs when we got back home.

(*There is a half bath on the other end of the laundry room, but for all I know Jimmy Hoffa could be hiding back there).

When we got back into town Jef and I relaxed on Thursday night and enjoyed Friday with great leisure since it was his birthday. Saturday we had quite a few other projects to tackle, but we did manage to buy the "white thingie" that would fix both toilets (later I found out it really has a name, Flush Valve). Sunday, after dismantling the tank from the base of the toilet to replace the flush value, Jef discovered he didn't have a wrench large enough to twist off the bottom part of the old valve.

He was going to get a wrench from dad's house, but I guess he got distracted along the way because there the toilet sat- all sad looking and in many pieces- for 3 days.

Until I got bored. Until I decided I needed an adventure. Until I got darn tired of hauling my big butt upstairs to go pee pee.

I went into the bathroom, checked out the situation, and decided to dig through my stash of tools. I happen to own a strap wrench which adjusts out to almost any size. I usually open jars with it, but it looked perfect for toilet repair! And it was indeed JUST perfect... I popped the bottom of the flush valve off, popped the new one in, tightened it down and started to size up how to put the tank back on the base. Very simple- 3 screws inside the tank hold it to the base, then reconnect a water line from the wall to the tank, and pop the other little water line into the new flush valve. In a matter of minutes it was complete!

I slowly turned the water back on. No leaks! My ego was the size of an elephant. I love fixing stuff and Jef being able to come home and say, "Aww thanks babe. You didn't have to do that!".

I looked towards the tub, where all the tools and tank parts were, and I noticed a small black rubber flangie-gasket-thingie. I thought to myself, Must be like with cars- there is always a part let over. I let the tank fill up just a little, and gave a quick handle jiggle to check my handy work.

The best way to describe what happend next is to ask if you have ever seen Niagara Falls? From what I hear, there's a huge crashing sound as the water hits the rocks below, a thick mist saturates the air, and water just gushes and gushes and gushes!

I figured out very quickly what the small black rubber flangie-gasket-thingie's purpose was. Oops- that is what keeps the water from leaking from tank to base when you flush. Luckily, I had towels on the floor. And an empty trash can. And my sense of humor was intact, so that helped a lot too. Plus I needed to mop anyways, so hey it all worked out.

The toilet was fixed by the time Jef got home (even after Ava wandered off with a couple of very important pieces and tried to hide them from me)... I did tell him of my "adventure", and he took it all in stride and asked, "Will you be fixing the other potty tomorrow?"

--The Milk Maid refrained from showing plumber's crack during her adventure.

(Doesn't this look like a neat home based business?)


A is for Adventure

Gonna try something new here peeps- roll with me:

A is for Adventure.

I'm not very sure what the source of the quote that I have scribbled on a piece of paper actually is, but it has survived many a year propped on my desk (when I had an outside-of-the-home job) and now hangs somewhat askew on my fridge:

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up and totally warn out and loudly proclaiming, "Wow- What a ride!".
After looking at the quote I realized that my adventures have been kind of far between as of late. Sure, we did the cruise thing... but that was our adventure, not just for me. So- from here on out, every week I will be doing a new "themed" adventure kind of deal (sounds very well thought out, no?).
So... I guess my first adventure was deciding to be an adventurer? Hummm- Maybe I will fix a toilet instead! Wow- so many possibilities out there for adventuring. Haha!
--The Milk Maid says she's like Dora the Explorer, but taller.
Jef wont let me have any new makeup mirrors... all because I'm a plucker!

Pit Stop

I had the pleasure of finally meeting a blog buddy... !!

Kelly, Matt, and Doran made a pit stop at my humble abode on their way back from Louisiana! I was SO excited when Kelly said that they could make it... I have known her for what feels like forever.

Back when Jef and I decided to have a baby, I joined a great information board where I met many other women who all had the same goal as I did. Kelly and I hit it off immediately- our cycles mirrored each other, as did many of our beliefs and opinions. We got pregnant within a month of each other.

That was way back in 2005.

Her little guy- Doran (who is a total cutie pie a la mode!) is almost one. Ava celebrated her big first birthday last month. Kelly and I have seen each other through a lot of ups and downs, been there to answer the whys and why nots of motherhood (when we've had any answers at all), and waited silently in the background on occasion knowing the other person needed positive thoughts sent their way, and that we were always on the other's mind amidst the chaos that is parenting and life.

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Doran, Kelly, Me, Ava, Faith

(Matt's hiding behind the camera)

In other news: Jef's new job seems to be going great! There is a lot to be done- as there usually is when a new manager comes to town-- but I know my Big J... he's raring and ready to take charge!

I wrote my first research paper in a looong time yesterday. No, not for school- for a pal, Konetta, who is a reflexologist. She is renting a new office and wanted to have a nice long "read" to explain what she did. It really didn't take a lot of time to write it, but man did my brain feel all sore afterwards. Whew- I guess I'd better practice that skill a bit more before I totally rust over.

--The Milk Maid says a bird in the hand is worth 2 Hannah Montana tickets in the bush.


From The Photo Shoot

This slide show will be available for approximately 2 days... Enjoy!


Click above, click Ava's image, and follow the directions for there!


Random Question....

So many of you, my dearest pals, claim to feel ovulation pains... and I'm just wondering- exactly what do these mystical pains feel like?

I was in the car, on the road to Mobile, when I felt a pinching, searing, poking, cramping in one generalized area (like under my right hip bone, maybe a smidgen lower) kind of pain. Was this too-long-in-the-car-itus? Or, considering it was 'bout that time for my lil ol eggie to spurt loose into the wild blue yonder... was it something more?

After the stress of traveling, the last thing on my mind was peeing on a stick. Unfortunately. But I had some of that lovely creamy mucousy stuff (which, in the sitcom Scrubs, the character Elliott called "icky sticky").

Of course I didn't remember ("remember"- ahem) to test the next day either for a positive OPK, so... perhaps this will forever remain a mystery.

Well, unless it happens next cycle.

--The Milk Maid says pee can tell you everything.

Anyone looking for Michigan Wolverines tickets?


Vacation Photos, Despida Dos

And for your continued enjoyment:

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And if me in a bathing suit does not send you screaming... then this is Ava's 1st ever beach-dip in Progresso, Yucatan, Mexico. Whoooohooo!

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A sassy old lady who picked up cans on the beach and throughout town... She took up with Ava (and vice versa)-- and she totally struck a pose for my camera!
Jef wouldn't let me keep her.

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The lovers in love.

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Big J-- happy at our fave restaurant in Cozumel and waiting for tacos and margaritas (more margaritas).

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Ava before...

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Ava after a shooter (of milk... whole milk! That's all!)

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Faithie-Poo the Magnificent!

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Snuggly buggly lil Ava... all happy after a full meal.

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Aww- Kisses for mama... A rare treat! And what do I owe this pleasure to?

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Ava talking her dada into all kinds of nonsense.

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Me... Taking a photo of me.

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Non (our room steward) and the girlies. She fell in love with my gals, but who can blame her?

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The Sissies embrace.
The Milk Maid says donde esta el bano?
More fun fun fun: audio racks

Vacation Photos, Despida Uno

I kept debating whether or not I should do a slide show or just post pics from the vacation, and being as I am one of many words I decided to include a brief (usually brief) explanation for each photo so you would have a clue as to what you were seeing.

And without further adieu:

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At the USS Alabama Battleship

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Faith is lining up her gun sights!

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Faith viewed the battleship as a giant playground... we did our best to explain the history, but with her it just seemed like tons of fun!

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I'm 5'8. She's 9 years old... think she will outgrow me?

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Daddy and Ava looking across the harbor (at the cruise ship- haha!)

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Mommy finally got to put the camera down and hold her baby girl... what you dont see here is Ava clawing the snot out of me about 3 seconds later. Painful, yet hilarious!

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Anchor chains do not make the best seat... but you can definately tell how large they are.

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Raring and ready to go go go

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Jef's favorite plane- this is a coast guard sea plane called the Albatross. How much does he love the plane?... Look very close at his hat. And his shirt.

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In the suite... Faith got a book bag full of activites to play with! She will still partially in shock at the whole cruise experience in this photo- she constantly wandered around going "wooah!"

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Ava climbing. No one is surprised, right?

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"Let me out, let me out! They have FOOD out there!"

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Home of the $1 Sol Beer and free tequila shooters. A couple from Salt Lake City moved to Progresso and opened this bar... their 12 year old son was with them. They had 6 months left on their visas before they had to go home for a while. Jef and I listened to their story and kept looking at each other like YES! This is totally something we would do!

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Faith enjoyed a lime with salt. No tequila for her- promise (ok, she did smell it but that was enough to quell her adventuresome spirit).

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What is it about these goofy cut out boards that no one can resist?! In the pic you can see the 6 mile long pier at Progresso...

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Town Square... er Town Circle... er- the middle of town, ok?

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El Viejo Y El Mar Restaurante
(I think I spelled that correctly)

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Jef's Enchiladas- Oooh Yum!

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Faith and I had Build Your Own Tacos (even yummier!)

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The Girls!
To be continued...
And in the mean time, check out these animal inflatable toys... My gawsh- I am SO splurging on these for Christmas! No, really I am. I love these!
--The Milk Maid speaks just enough Espanol to get herself into trouble.


Mish Mash Part 2

Without boring you with tons of details, on the cruise we basically ate, drank, and slept. Faith swam a lot. We never made it to the pool, which was fine- we were very busy chasing a very fast toddler. Who has time to sun buns when Ava is doing her rock star around the ship tour anyways?

Progresso, Yucatan was our first stop... I did manage to don a swimsuit for that outing into the ocean, so the bikini wax wasn't a total waste. We ate tacos and enchiladas, drank beer and tequila shooters, and walked around the little town buying the occasional random trinket.

Cozumel was next... we went to the same restaurant that Jef and I had visited 2 previous times and had (you guessed it) the same gigantic plate of tacos like we'd had on our honeymoon and 1st anniversary trips. We bought a mermaid and baby statue, Faith got a rock turtle, we drank more beer and a couple margaritas, and Ava snoozed in her stroller for most of the afternoon.

The next (and last) day was a sea day. Faith took off with friends, Jef and I went up to a large open area (bar-adjacent) and let Ava play and run around. Later that night we let Ava doze off to sleep, gave Faith one of our cell phones and the TV remote and instructed her to call us if Ava woke up while we were gone. And then we hit the casino!!

I headed for the $1 slots, plunked $10 in... and a few minutes later won $180!!! Jef tried his hand and did really well also... we left the casino ahead of the game- for once- and about that time the phone rang. Ava was up, so we sprinted for the room.

Faith managed to get Ava back to sleep before we got there... in fact, Ava was sound asleep on top of Faith in the bed. I scooted her to one side, Faith snuggled in beside her, and we all dozed off to sleep.

It was a fabulous trip. One we will never forget! I will try to get some pictures up this weekend... if I can stay awake long enough.

Oh yeah- and Happy Birthday to my Big J!!!! Love you badez~

--The Milk Maid is in a vacation-induced coma.

Fun fun fun (maybe for Meg) budgeting software.

Post-Cruise Friday Mish Mash, Part One

We are back. Man oh man, what an adventure...

We left Friday afternoon for Montgomery- which is about half way to the Port of Mobile. Faith had no idea what was up... she didn't notice the luggage in the back of the car, she didn't question when we drove 3 hours for "dinner".

We ate at a Western Sizzlin in Opelika, AL around 8pm (which we used to have here, but it closed a few years back). We kept telling her that it was one of Jef's fave places (totally true) and she had a big steak (as did we). After dinner, back to the car and on down the road about another hour. We got a hotel room and rested up* for the night.

*Faith rested... Ava is used to being laid down in a crib to sleep. No crib here- she was up til about 2am romping and playing. Finally, she dozed off and we slept until 6am.

Finally arriving in Mobile, we still had hours before the cruise ship (Carvinal Holiday!) would let us board so we all decided to prowl around the USS Alabama Battleship memorial. There was a huge ship (the USS Alabama) and tons and tons of airplanes ranging from bombers to jets to a Coast Guard Albatross (which Jef LUVVED... he wanted to take it home). After a couple hours there we headed for lunch at Mickey D's. We drove past the Holiday, and asked Faith, "So do you want to see if they will let us look around that ship too?". She was all, "Oh yeah oh yeah!".

We ate, drove back over to the Holiday and went to the parking deck. They had to check IDs and boarding passes to let us in the parking garage, but Faith still had no idea what was going on! Finally, after having a porter take our checked bags, etc. I asked Faith if she'd figured it out yet? She gave me a clueless look.

Me: Faith, we are going on a cruise!
Faith: Whhhaaattt?!?!?!
Me: Yes- we are going TODAY on a cruise on THIS BOAT!
Faith: (Confusion. Excitement.) YAY!
Me: We are going to Mexico... Progresso and Cozumel.

She almost cried.

To be continued....

(Keep the fun going while you wait for Installment #2 with this neeto Jewelry website!!)


Progresso, Yucatan- Cruise Day 3

Progesso is gorgeous gang!!!- Ava had her 1st dip in the ocean, Faith is going and doing all kinds of stuff by herself, and Jef and I are practicing our drinking skills. We managed to find $1 beer and free tequila shooters this morning... yes- morning. Well, it was 10am, which is 11 am EST. It is vacation- right?!

I wanted to say hello and hi y'all very quickly... dinner is soon and I must get everyone motivated (out of bed) and heading towards the dining hall!

Miss you all SO much- I logged on and had tons of comments and felt THIIIIS wonderful! Almost as wonderful as when I ate a Build Your Own Taco assortment on the beach.

--The Milk Maid says remember sunscreen, yo!


I'm Gone!

We're gone gang!!!

I might blog while on the boat... I might not. Guess it depends on how drunk I get, so if you get a message that looks like this...

Hee y'allz. Itz meez. I luuuv yooou. I reallLLLLly LUUUUV yoous all verry veddry muches!

...Then accept my apologies in advance! I really will miss you guys...

----The Milk Maid says having dirty thoughts about Val Kilmer playing Jim Morrison is like having a threesome minus one person.

And he's NOT gross B!!!

Pre-Cruise Friday Mish-Mash

This afternoon we depart for leg one of our journey to cruise! Whew... What a week so far! Let's recap:

Some of you may remember this episode when Jef lost his job waaay back in November of last year. And remained unemployed for a few months. And later took a crappy job full of empty promises and small pay checks.

Well, let me just say that when the wheels of fate start turning, you'd better have your ass buckled in and be holding on to something. A few days ago Jef was offered a manager position... and he's turning in his notice at Old Job today. :::Happy sigh fills the room!::: The pay is better (mucho better-o!), the hours are flexible, and they are desperate to have my Big J as their Big Cheese.

So, upgrade to VIP on the leap of faith vacation we decided to take. New, improved (with more stain fighting power!) job. Now, if the whole kidney thing can be a fluke... I think we're set.

But- even if the whole kidney thing isn't a fluke, which it probably isn't and he will end up needed a new kidney, etc. etc., I've decided that no matter WHAT comes at us we can make it through life because of one simple thing: Each other (So, technically I guess "each other" would be two things, unless you are using the words "each other" to describe an entity instead of something with separate parts, like marriage makes you One- unless you try to pull that whole deal at the movies then you are definately two people-- and also kind of like crumbs split in half aren't half a crumb- it's two crumbs. Shit- I got sidetracked. I'm a crumb, Jef's a crumb, and we're all hungry- now what was I saying?).

The point is on top of my head. Just kidding-- The point is that whatever we can get to, we can get through. That's my mantra by the way. You can borrow it, I don't mind.

My pal Konetta told me about a workshop she went to where everyone did a role playing exercise. Basically, the people learned that some burdens they carry in this life are not actually from this lifetime. They have accepted the burden they carry from an ancestor (or something like that, bear with me). So, once you acknowledge that whatever burden you are carrying is not your cross to bear-- be it negativity, pain in your body, your body not cooperating for you, feelings of being overwhelmed, etc.-- then you just simply have to release that thought process. Like, "This is not my burden to carry. I will no longer drag this enormous weight behind me".

I know it sounds bizarre and a little crazy, but try it.


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And now for Haiku Friday
Ol nutty Milk Maid
Trying hard to free your mind
Maybe you should listen!
Oh! Vacation! Yay!
Show no chubby tummy please
Only a one piece
Bought a cheep movie
Val as Jim Morrison- HOT!
Dirty thoughts about...
--The Milk Maid says come on baby light my fire!



Mamas gotta brag on their big babies too:
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Faith, 9 years old, 4th grade

When DID she get so big?


Bite The Wax Tadpole

In preparation for the cruise, I decided that instead of my usual shave and a haircut (two bits!) I would have my bikini line waxed. I've done this a few times before (once in combination with both legs... before a funeral- just think residual wax and not being able to get off the church pew) so it wasn't too big a deal.

I dropped Ava off with my fantastic aunt Sue, and drove over to the salon. The frazzled yet attractive waxer-woman greeted me, finished with a client (hair cut), and then escorted me back to the tiny waxing room. She told me to take my shorts off and hop on the table. I was a little "eeehh!" at first--No drape?! I thought to myself in a prudish moment. Quickly getting over that- my gawd the woman was about to drizzle hot wax near my cookie- I disrobed and hopped on the table.

And am I the only one who HATES the crunchy paper noise on a table? Anyone? Anyone?

Very quickly, waxer-woman came back in, grabbed a roll on wax applicator, and started yanking out hair left and right. Pretty painless, I was actually kind of distracted trying to see what kind of tattoo she had on her boob when-- RIP(stop)YANK happened. She went to rip the paper and wax off, lost her grip halfway, then yanked again AFTER the wax had somewhat reapplied itself to my tender bits.

Must remain stoic. Must remain stoic. Must remain stoic.

Me: (Monotone with slight hint of sarcasm): "Hey that kinda hurt."
Her: Soo sorry, so so so sorry.
Me: It's cool [my crotch is on fire you hussy!].

--The Milk Maid says if you were wondering about the title of my blog... according to Dave Barry, Coca Cola loosely translates to "Bite The Wax Tadpole" in Chinese.


Add this to the reasons I hate doctors...

Supposedly, it is humanly impossible to pass a kidney stone and not feel it squeeze its little way out. I am here to tell you that most of the time the aforementioned statement is true. I am the Exception To The Rule. My stone has magically disappeared from my right kidney--


My doctor, not being known for his belief in magic or just simply letting things be, must come up with a new way for me to further fatten his wallet. Let's send her for an IVP (intravenous pyleogram- which is an X-ray test that can show the size, shape, and position of the urinary tract, including the kidneys and ureters. During IVP, a dye called contrast material is injected into a vein thru an IV in your arm. Then, a series of X-ray pictures is taken at timed intervals.)

And all this time I thought IVP was the Internet Vagina Posse.

THEN, because he can't stand NOT to fuck with SOMETHING... he will break up the other stones with that shock-wave ultrasound thingie.

Well, that's what the doctor thinks he will do. But, alas, I have foiled his evil plot. I told him to go take a flying leap- and when I needed him I'd come crawling back.

The Milk Maid says, "Dammit- I am impervious to pain!!" :::knocking on wood:::


My Meme 10.8.07

Jobs I've had
1) Dog Groomer
2) Real Estate Assistant
3) Sub-Prime Mortgage Originator
4) Waitress

Places I've lived
1) My parent's house (which is next door to--)
2) My house
3) About 10 minutes away from here with my ex-husband
4) I would spend a month a year in Daytona Beach (Ponce Inlet) growing up, so that counts, right??

Food I love
1) Steak
2) Lobster and seafood
3) Pizza
4) Sushi

Places I would rather be
1) On the cruise
2) On the beach
3) On the cover of Rolling Stone
4) Anywhere my Big J is at

Movies I love
1) Moulin Rouge
2) O Brother Where Art Thou
3) Kill Bill, Vol. 1 & 2
4) My old home movies I made as a kid (I must share about "Possum on a Stick" one day!)

TV shows I watch
1) Scrubs
2) Anthony Bourdain "No Reservations"
3) Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe
4) Ghost Hunters/TAPS

Books I love
1) Pet Sematery
2) Any Dean Koontz Novel, esp Lightning
3) Any Anne Rice Novel, esp the Mayfair Witch Trilogy
4) Jimmy Buffet's "A Pirate Looks at 40"

Bloggers I am tagging
1) Tracey of Baby Steps
2) Kelly of Doran's World
3) Laine of Two Florida Mommies
4) The rest of you who haven't been gotten yet :D


My hair behaved Friday (mostly). I bypassed the coffee, but made the big mistake of eating a double cheeseburger and a large coke on our way to the photographer's studio... but no social faux-pas were committed (until after we left!).

We wont have proofs from our portrait session for two weeks because this lady is a perfectionist and is booked solid (and screws around a lot too, in my humble opinion!). But, when we get something-- anything-- from her you will know!

I'm working on a packing list for vacation (which means I am unpacking, revising my list, and repacking) so I'm a little swamped today, but I will definitely catch up here later!!

Until then perhaps this outdoor lighting website will keep you entertained!


Friday Mish-Mash 10.5.07

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Ungodly hair mop
Torture to wash, dry, and style
Might wear a wig today
That's a long damn word- yup! yup!
Happy one Big J
Sitting in the dark
Wearing jeans and a nice bra
Trying to haiku
The Mish-Mash
Not a lot going on today... Jef is getting off work early, we're having some photos made of us and Ava on a trade out deal with our fave photographer. As you can tell from the haiku, I've been battling my hair most of the morning. It's course, it's thick, it's naturally wavy, and it's raining outside. No rain for weeks and weeks... I have to get my picture taken and it's a flippin downpour. Oh well... I will take the hair straightener with me!
I probably should be picking out clothes to wear to this photo deal, but I'm not very motivated at the moment. I didn't get breakfast, and I'm contemplating making a pot of coffee. But... in the battle of coffee vs. my stomach my stomach always looses, and I really don't want to have the poots (or worse) at photo lady's house. Decisions, decisions.

--The Milk Maid says a lot less than usual today!


5 Years In The Making...

Tomorrow is our 5th wedding anniversary! In pre-celebration (and so I don't have a 47 page Friday Mish-Mash) I've decided to share the photos from "way back when" today! Enjoy:

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My father walked me down the isle... We are laughing because in rehersal we skipped down the isle, and he is trying to get me to to it again in front of 100 people. (No, I didn't skip!)

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Jef looks a little nervous doesn't he?!... They put him in a side room to wait and they almost "forgot" him. He came out to ask where his jacket was and they told him he wasn't allowed inside the atrium during the wedding. He said, "But I'm the GROOM!"

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I was giddy with delight. And y'all know me, I don't do giddy that often! On a side note, our preacher's name was Ned Beatty (not the same guy from Deliverance- whew!).

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Faithy-Poo when she was a tiny lil tot.
She asked me the other day why I made her wear a bra to my wedding. I looked at her, all confused-- she pointed to her straps in this photo. It was a slip- I promise!

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Really, I had such a case of the giggles... Jef kept looking at me like I was bonkers.

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I don't remember what he said, but he thought it was darn funny. This photo hangs in the stair well... I stop to look at it every single day and can never hold back a smile when I see Jef laughing like that!

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The mooshy stuff :-D

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FYI: Those are not fake finger nails... I grew them all by myself for our wedding. Jef wouldn't let me pick up anything or open any doors for a month so that I could have nice hands for the pics.

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Have some cake baby!

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So in love... he still has that serious face! And I'm still laughing!

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Heeeey- Save it for the bedroom stud! I was TOTALLY not expecting him to do that. Obviously!

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My dad again... pretending he is a maitre'D... until he breaks out into hysterical laughter and the ladies figure out he is really just a goofy old man who SHOULD be at his daughter's wedding reception. And now you see where I get my warped sense of humor!