My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Add this to the reasons I hate doctors...

Supposedly, it is humanly impossible to pass a kidney stone and not feel it squeeze its little way out. I am here to tell you that most of the time the aforementioned statement is true. I am the Exception To The Rule. My stone has magically disappeared from my right kidney--


My doctor, not being known for his belief in magic or just simply letting things be, must come up with a new way for me to further fatten his wallet. Let's send her for an IVP (intravenous pyleogram- which is an X-ray test that can show the size, shape, and position of the urinary tract, including the kidneys and ureters. During IVP, a dye called contrast material is injected into a vein thru an IV in your arm. Then, a series of X-ray pictures is taken at timed intervals.)

And all this time I thought IVP was the Internet Vagina Posse.

THEN, because he can't stand NOT to fuck with SOMETHING... he will break up the other stones with that shock-wave ultrasound thingie.

Well, that's what the doctor thinks he will do. But, alas, I have foiled his evil plot. I told him to go take a flying leap- and when I needed him I'd come crawling back.

The Milk Maid says, "Dammit- I am impervious to pain!!" :::knocking on wood:::


B said...'d ya do it?

Marcy "meg" said...

I didn't feel mine pass much either... 1) because I was way drugged 2) I was in so much pain anyway.. I didn't know the difference!

Also, I had the IVP thing done... not much fun either... but again I was pretty drugged.

Glad you passed the stones though!

kittenroar5 said...

Did you murder a doctor in a previous life with an ice pick or maybe an axe?

I love you, but you have a little bit of bad doc karma. I hope the next one is a bit better!

Estella's Moms said...

I had an IVP in May when they were still trying to diagnose my blasted gall stones :( They thought kidney stones because I have a history of them, but my kidneys were squeaky clean. I second Meg. It wasn't pleasant.

You can also add me to the list of doctor haters.

twondra said...'ve had a time with doctors girl. I've never had a kidney stone...can't imagine going through that. Glad you couldn't feel it. Cheers for the milk maid!!!

Soon you'll be cruising girl! Man, I'm soooo jealous! :)

singletracey said...

BYE BYE STONES! The milkmaid is an awefully talented and magical gal!

Lora said...

Milk Maid RULES!! I would've thought IVP was Internet Vaginal Posse too!! ??? Who knew?! Glad you're feeling better! :)

Michell said...

Well, I'm glad the stones are gone. That is one plus. I don't blame you for not wanting to do the rest of the testing stuff. I'd wait until or if a stone appeared again to do all that. Have a great trip on your cruise. When do you leave??