My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Who's a Halloweenie?!

I'm a Halloweenie! Haha- My favorite holiday (yeah- it IS a holiday for some of us!). Unfortunately, Jef has to work late and Faith will be trick-or-treating with her dad, so it's just me and little Ava tonite. We never get trick-or-treaters... I guess that's what you get when you live 500 feet off the road. That's fine with me too- because guess who get's to eat all the candy!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Ava the Bat says trick-or-treats!

Tracey is going to ovulate sooon!- and I am SO excited for her. With the explosion of pregnancies lately, it's just a matter of time (and timing) for her. I don't want to jinx it- but my magic 8 ball intuition says "Outlook Wonderful"!!!

Speaking of ol Trace- the heffer (I say that with love girlfriend) got a new camera! Maybe I need a camera too! I love my manual camera, but it has it's quirks. Plus my digital camera is CRAP... unless you are in direct sunlight all the pics come out dark. Oh bother- I guess I'll get my "tox" in gear (that's a buttox, folks) and work my ad specialties a bit, make some moolah, and be a little shutter bug. Jef has been wanting to buy me a good camera for ages now, and I wouldn't let him. You see, I'm just not a fan of the digital camera. But, the digital SLR like Tracey bought is the best of both worlds- use it like a manual with the conveinance of digital. Plus, our pro-photographer Michelle uses the digital SLR- and her pics are awsome. Sigh- here I come camera-land!


Monday, Monday


It's too darn early to be up, even after the time change. Ava decided she didn't want to sleep last nite- it's much more fun to grunt and play and nurse every 45 minutes. Plus, this was her 2nd nite in a row wiggling and kicking. Quite frankly, I got enough of being kicked when I was pregnant with her, and a good nice swift kick to my ribcage does nothing for our repoire.

My cat is on my "list" here lately. The Chipper has taken up a bad habit of going potty in the litter box and not covering it up. We aren't talking little poos here, either. This cat weighs on the upside of 15 pounds. These are full blown dookies! And in the great words of George Carlin, "it's not the smell, it's the burning of my eyes!". I've had the hygiene discussion with gato-squato, but he's not getting the importance of this. It's like the conversation we had this summer about the bug on the ceiling... no matter how high he climbs, he still can't reach the top of the vaulted ceiling to eat the bug. He chased the little creature for the better part of a day before sulking off behind the recliner and napping for 6 hours.

We did a little Trick-or-Treat on Saturday night, and it was a blast. I was sans-costume (unless you count the spit-up stains on my shirt as passing for the Condor keeper at the zoo). Faith was Pikachu from Pokeman (those run about $50 on eBay, FYI and gag!). Ava was a bat... and she was an affordable creature of the night, thanks to Old Navy!

My aunt Martha was the next to the last stop for the night, and she was watching my little cousin Dawson. He's about 10 months old and such a cutie! The poor little guy flipped out when Faith came in with her Pikachu mask... He stared at her for about 5 minutes, did a double-take (when he could blink again) and then he screamed, paused, and then screamed again! I thought the mask might be freaking the little fella out, so I had Faith take it off. I guess he thought the creature with two heads had pulled one of them off- and he set into howling! I made Faith put the mask on again, and he just sat there in stunned silence. I fear that I have traumatized this little guy permanently! Oh well, join the ranks dude.

The coffee-pot is calling my name again... Later!


What A Waste!

Got to my doctor's appointment yesterday at 12:30, and the receptionsit said it was at 2 o'clock, even though I had my appointment card in hand. Needless to say, I left! I wasn't about to wait, and considering how rude she was, I'll never go back again. So now I get to find a new ob/gyn office. The only other ob/gyn doctor in town that my insurance likes is named Dr. Cox (and that's funny enough on its own without me having to make a comment). Suppose I'll ring them up Monday. Sigh!

I got to my car, said words that would have sailors running from a bar, and went by the local Vietnamese restaurant to grab some Poh Bok soup. It was pouring rain, so I got soaked. But once I was home again with my little Ava, the world was just right again, despite all the crap I endured during my 2 hour trip. My comforting thoughts we all about her and getting back home to feed my sweetie. It's nice that we have "our thing". No one else can share "our thing". Oh sure I can pump and someone else can give her a bottle, but it's not the same. We have such a great bond, and I really owe it to the bf-ing.

It suddenly got really quiet- Faith is home, and Ava is no longer crying. Seems Faith has given little sister her passy and sang to her... how sweet! Now Faith is reading over my shoulder. She said, "You're braggin' aren't ya... to some of your friends?!". Of course I am... that's what mommys do.

Jef will be back soon with food, and Ava is whining again... catch ya later~!!


Breakfast is back!

Guess what little sweetie slept thru the whole car ride to school, the trek up the road into town, and the chick-fil-a parking lot fiasco (it's always a mess)! Yes, my little pee-wee gave mommy a reprive and I actually got to go buy a hot breakfast AND eat it. Bless her heart, because I was starving this morning!

Yesterday, after the trip to Athens, I was exhausted. Mom decided that she had to have some UGA Crocs... because God knows she doesnt have enough shoes... so me, mom, dad, and Ava all made the 45 minute trip to college town for shoes, t-shirts, and a stop at the Varsity. The Varsity is the world's largest drive in and they have the world's best fried food, dogs, bugers, and junk! I got 2 chili dawgs, an order of onion rings, and a PC (painted cow) which is chocolate milk served over crushed ice. Oh, and let's not forget the fried apple pie to go! Just a few extra calories for the bf-ing mom!

Mom bought Ava a onesie with bib and shoes that was red and black with the big G for Georgia. I found a hat with UGA on it (UGA is really the mascot's name, pronounced Uuh-Guh), and a pacifier with UGA. Dad carried Ava around telling everyone she was the next place kicker for UGA (thats U-G-A spelled out as in University of GA... confusing I know!). He also laid her on a stack of shirts and took pics of her with his camera phone. All I could think was "Lordy, if she pukes I'll be buying those at $25 each".

Today is my 6 week post-partum checkup. JOY! I would rather have my eyes gouged out with spoons (than a spec shoved up my hoohoo). I have NO reason to go really... I had no tearing, no stitches, bleeding has stopped, I have no problems, still have my prenatal vitamins, and I dont need any birth control. Now you tell me why I should waist $40 to get out in the pouring rain and drive into freakin Gainesville!?! (Blah- because Jef is making me go... I woulda held out on nookie if I'd known this). And if all this isn't bad enough, I am leaving Ava for the first time (with mom) while I go to the doctor.

On the boob-front: My pump is still broke! The daggum thing has two plastic parts that twist and click together, and I guess they have stressed and cracked, as I mentioned yesterday. I can still pump, but it's holding together by a thread. I managed to pump a bottle for mom last nite, so we're good for the day (hope, hope, hope). I have a few bags frozen if all else fails. The pump I found on Ebay went up to $13 overnite... I might break down and go forkout the big bucks for a new one. Even a good manual pump is $40-$50!! Holy Engorged Breasts, Batman!

Wow- the "girls" know I am THINKING about them. I just felt the let-down reflex kick in and the ol "boops" have swollen to porn-star potential. They are like Santa Claus... They know when I'm sleeping, they know when I'm awake- and they just dont care, they'll leak anywhere! It's like traveling with two large water balloons in a world full of pins.

Someone else must have heard my milk-thoughts, because Miss Ava is awake. TTFN~



I used to make my trek towards town every morning for a chicken biscuit or some other sustinance, some coffee, or later in my pregnancy a water. Now those days of battling traffic and road construction are just distant memories.

I can barely make it to the school to drop Faith off without Ava making her presence known in grand and ear-drum shattering fashion. We played "find the darn binkie- quickly!!" this morning. It's Faith's least favorite game, only because her sister is wailing like a cat being gutted with a fishing knife.

Faith keeps asking me- "Mommy, how did you do this when I was a baby... who handed you the passy then?". I laugh, tell her no one, and try to remember those days.

Faith was a good baby- a very good baby. Her first 3 weeks of life you hardly knew she was on the planet. That's the nice thing about a baby being born 3 weeks early... they dont "wake up" for a little while. But once she did-- oh boy! The kid had a set of lungs... who knew!?

Faith was a great car-baby. She'd snooze off, best I can remember, as soon as we got going. And she didn't take a passy very long. Less than two months. So what did I do when she cried in the car? I guess I blocked it out (like I can do with Ava, until Faith goes into panic mode because of Ava's crying- "It's ok Ava, Ava it's ok, it's ok Ava, AVA IT'S OK!!").

Back to the subject of breakfast. I brewed some coffee today for the first time in a LONG time. Of course, I forgot how to brew coffee so I made the kind of java that walks to your cup. But, after a little hot water to cut it with, I'm sipping away happily. If course the cream and sugar helped a lot too. I'm not sure what food I will eat, or if I will eat breakfast today. I might just have lunch twice. I'm not sure on that either- I'm always hungry (the breastfeeding mom's curse) and nothing will make the hunger subside. So I just wander thru the house, snacking my way thru the kitchen. What's a gal to do? At least I'm losing weight... for now.

Not a lot happening in my world today. Well, not yet anyways. Jef is working steadily away, Ava is napping in the carseat on the couch, Faith is at school, haven't heard from dad yet (he'll text around 10 "R U OK?"), and mom is probablly snoozing with Gidget. The Chippie-Gato is playing in the blinds, and Buster-Bean is barking in the garage. It's too cold for him to go out, and he whines if he's in... what a fickle little pup.

My breastpump broke yesterday. Well, a small connecting part is stressed and cracked yesterday would be more accurate. I found a complete pump on Ebay for 99 cents, used of course. But with a little sterilization, I dont see the problem with using it for spare parts.

Ok, so I didn't really write too much on the bf-ing. I guess there's just not much to report today- all is well, the well isn't dry, and Ava will be up soon to eat... Oh well!



Not what I expected!

Nothing so far- from pregnancy to birth to breastfeeding Ava- has been what I expected. I was never sick during my pregnancy, for starters. I got big as a house, but I managed to lose more weight than I gained back. I expected labor to be loooong- and she came in less than three hours.

So why did I expect to have issues with bf-ing? Heaven knows?! We've had it easy-cheezie so far. She has never hesitated to use me for a human pacifier, or try to suck my eyeballs out thru my nips (I feel like a crawdaddy at a Low Country Boil sometimes). Her latch is so good, the doc at the hospital looked at me in pitty and smiled. She gained an ounce before we left the hospital (6lb 12 oz at birth, by the way) when babies usually lose up to 10% of their bodyweight before they ever gain any.

By two weeks, she'd gained a pound. And at one month of age, I'm guesstimating she weighs in somewhere close to 8 1/2 lbs.

Every time Ava eats- once she slows down and stops choking herself- she starts making cute little crocodile noises, all squeaky and gruntie. Then, after she falls off the boob, she gets this look of utter-contentment... hence the milk-induced coma blog name. Glazed eyes and all, that boobie-milk must be some awsomely tasty stuff. No, I haven't tried it yet. I thought about it, but I haven't ventured that far yet. Big J says it's good stuff... but he also drinks vodka strait, so I don't take his taste-bud opinion for much.

Guess who's hungry again?! I swear, this kid is sooo lucky. Eat, eat, eat, grunt, poop, sleep, eat some more.... What a life!

Then it hit me....

As I was sitting in a rather uncomfortable chair in the "lounge" section of the bathroom at our local mall, it hit me. It hit me like a stream of hot breastmilk in the eye. Well, I think the idea hit me about the same time the actual stream of real milk hit me... Why not blog about all this breastfeeding stuff?!

(So what if no one cares about all the strategic movements of my ninnies- it's amusing to me.)

So here I am.

And this is it!

And if you've managed to stumble across, may you laugh along with me as I go through this adventure with my daughter Ava.

And if you were invited to my blog- then goddess bless you... because you already know just how weird my life can be.