My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Themed Randomness

More sex dreams last night. Good lordy I am exhausted and in need of a shower upon rising in the morning. This one was about my mom's best friend's (who passed away) husband. He used to be old and chubby until I happened to walk by his house one day. I went inside and he turned into Jim Morrison. So of course I just had to have sex with him on the couch, what else is a girl supposed to do? After we were finished with our escapade, Jef walked in and said, "Nice work, Jim!". Then I sold Jim a t-shirt with HIS picture on it.

In other real world news:

Ava fell at Faith's tutor's house and busted her nose. It bled (on my new shirt of course), but she got over it quickly. Faith, however, is still talking about the incident.

Speaking of Faith, she had to decorate a mini-pumpkin for school. Instead of a pumpkin, she choose a squash-shaped gourd. His name is Gordon, he is from Jamaica but speaks with an Australian accent and wears a kilt. He was supposed to wear overalls, but I am not that adept at sewing, let along sewing something that has straps for a being with NO SHOULDERS. My advice to anyone with a 1 inch neck and a 5 inch wait is wear a very high waisted dress.

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Hey-Ho! It's Halloween! Jef has to work late and close out the month, so it will be an all girls trick or treat fest tonite. I might even don a costume and grab up a little candy for myself. I always keep a few wigs on hand... just in case I ever need to skip the country or gas up my car anonymously or anything of the sort.

Did she just say she keeps wigs on hand to gas up her car anonymously?

Yes. Yes I did say that exact thing. Sometimes I will put on a wig and makeup to go gas up my car or buy milk or something random like that JUST to see if anyone knows it is me. And so far they haven't noticed it was me. Not even that time I ran into my dad. Think I am joking?....

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-The Milk Maid says Trick or Treat!!

Anyone wanna do the Las Vegas thing?


B said...

Happy Halloween! Jamaicans wear sombreros?
You're a nut girl! I can't believe noone has recognized you. Are you sure they haven't? Maybe they just think you have a multi personality disorder..and they're afraid to approach that version of you?

Milk Maid said...

Well, they might have recognized me and thought I was crazy... but dad flirted with me and was all hellooo, so maybe again they didnt! Haha!

Marcy "meg" said...

woahhhh... looking all seductive like in that wig! You go girl! That is too funny. Wait until you see what Kris and I are going to dress up as tonight!

Michell said...

I like Gordon, he's cool. That is pretty funny that no one recognizes you. Either that or they do recognize you and think you are off your rocker and it's easier to humor you. Have a fun halloween tonight.

Michelle said...

LOL!!!! You crack me up! Great job with Gordon!

Heather said...

You are so funny! I love to read your blog! I wish I could be as funny with mine!!

Happy Halloween!

kittenroar5 said...

Oh My Gourd! Happy Halloween!

twondra said...

LOL!! You are soooo funny!!! Love the wig! You go girl!!! Thanks for the laughs. :)

singletracey said...

HAHAHAHAH You are HILARIOUS! Love the wig.. sexy milkmaid!

Amy Barry said...

Hmm - you look like Shannon Dougherty in that pic....