My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Potty Humor

I decided to adventure into the realms of being a plumber yesterday and fix my own toilet.

You see, last week before vacation both of our accessible* downstairs toilets broke (good ole Murphy's Law!) . The water kept running and running and wouldn't shut off, and considering our local water reservoir has already made news due to its lack of water and Governor Perdue is asking for federal aid, it was just easier to turn the water off and worry with repairs when we got back home.

(*There is a half bath on the other end of the laundry room, but for all I know Jimmy Hoffa could be hiding back there).

When we got back into town Jef and I relaxed on Thursday night and enjoyed Friday with great leisure since it was his birthday. Saturday we had quite a few other projects to tackle, but we did manage to buy the "white thingie" that would fix both toilets (later I found out it really has a name, Flush Valve). Sunday, after dismantling the tank from the base of the toilet to replace the flush value, Jef discovered he didn't have a wrench large enough to twist off the bottom part of the old valve.

He was going to get a wrench from dad's house, but I guess he got distracted along the way because there the toilet sat- all sad looking and in many pieces- for 3 days.

Until I got bored. Until I decided I needed an adventure. Until I got darn tired of hauling my big butt upstairs to go pee pee.

I went into the bathroom, checked out the situation, and decided to dig through my stash of tools. I happen to own a strap wrench which adjusts out to almost any size. I usually open jars with it, but it looked perfect for toilet repair! And it was indeed JUST perfect... I popped the bottom of the flush valve off, popped the new one in, tightened it down and started to size up how to put the tank back on the base. Very simple- 3 screws inside the tank hold it to the base, then reconnect a water line from the wall to the tank, and pop the other little water line into the new flush valve. In a matter of minutes it was complete!

I slowly turned the water back on. No leaks! My ego was the size of an elephant. I love fixing stuff and Jef being able to come home and say, "Aww thanks babe. You didn't have to do that!".

I looked towards the tub, where all the tools and tank parts were, and I noticed a small black rubber flangie-gasket-thingie. I thought to myself, Must be like with cars- there is always a part let over. I let the tank fill up just a little, and gave a quick handle jiggle to check my handy work.

The best way to describe what happend next is to ask if you have ever seen Niagara Falls? From what I hear, there's a huge crashing sound as the water hits the rocks below, a thick mist saturates the air, and water just gushes and gushes and gushes!

I figured out very quickly what the small black rubber flangie-gasket-thingie's purpose was. Oops- that is what keeps the water from leaking from tank to base when you flush. Luckily, I had towels on the floor. And an empty trash can. And my sense of humor was intact, so that helped a lot too. Plus I needed to mop anyways, so hey it all worked out.

The toilet was fixed by the time Jef got home (even after Ava wandered off with a couple of very important pieces and tried to hide them from me)... I did tell him of my "adventure", and he took it all in stride and asked, "Will you be fixing the other potty tomorrow?"

--The Milk Maid refrained from showing plumber's crack during her adventure.

(Doesn't this look like a neat home based business?)


Marcy "meg" said...

:) You can still come and fix my toilet!

Seriously, I think it is leaking at the bottom... Kris and I are NO plumbers... but we may try and give it a whirl this weekend!

singletracey said...

You my dear.. are a tool time DIVA!!!

Ethansmama said...

Good for you! I am the handyman (woman) around our house. I tackle little projects while Mike is at work and save the big ones for when he goes on business trips. I like to clean up my mess when I am completely finished and he likes it better if I clean as I go, this strategy has saved our marriage!

B said...

You're a dork. That's f'in funny girl. Are you fixing my toilet next?

Michell said...

That is pretty funny. Reminds me of when me and my mom tried to fix one of her toilets and we ended up having to replace the whole thing.

twondra said...

You are so funny! Good for you!! I have a toilet in the basement that needs fixing! And yay for not showing the crack!! Woohoo!!

Michelle said...

lol! Great adventure story! You are 10 times more braver than me. I wouldnt have went near that thing!