Wow, November already, huh? Where did the year go?
In case I hadn't informed you (or let it slip out, however we're phrasing that today) November was the month that Jef and I were gearing up for TTC again. With the job change, and ensuing lack of insurance coverage (well, we have Cobra temp insurance, but it will all change again 3 months from now), Jef's magical kidneys and their issues, and just a slew of other stuff- like life in general, my school commitment after the first of the year, 2 very rambunctious kids, my renewed love of karate, the alignment of the stars and the moon and the sun and Mars and..., and oh yeah- some one being a little wishy-washy on the subject of "more baby" (that'd be me this time)- I guess we sort of let it slip out of sight for a while.
Even with everything that is going on right now, knowing that this wouldn't be The Month kind of hit me somewhere near that string of nerves that goes "AWWWW" when I see a tiny baby being clutched ever so tight by his mommy.
I mentioned this to Jef, and with him being my center and my calmness and my light and my everything, he said his sorrys many times over. But I wasn't looking for sorry. I am not sure what I was looking for, actually. I know he and I are on the same path together... and I know we will get there.
I just didn't expect a brief delay to hit me where it did, and as hard as it did. One day I wake up only to find myself getting gut punched by a very large force-- time.
I'm not depressed about it, by any means, so please don't even think that. I suppose all this made me realize that, even with 2 children there is still a hole that needs to be filled by a tiny little person.
--The Milk Maid says, "Siiiigh."
11/4/07
Gut Punched
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8 comments:
Awww, sweetie. I hope that little one is able to come to you soon. (((HUGS)))
Isn't it crazy how we can get "gut punched" like that when we least expect it. Hopefully you guys will be able to give the TTC stuff a try soon. Hugs to you.
The TTC time will come and will you know when it does.
hey sweetie pea... I just wanted to sayi hi :-) "sigh" that missing link and the timing for it will come when everything aligns for you :-)
Your time will align soon... I just know it. I hope it is sooner for you than later! Hang in there... I know you will have that infant in your hands before too long :)
Getting punched sucks, but it looks like we're feeling that same longing at the same time. Who knows? Maybe the universe will align for us to TTC together again and our next set of children will be close in age, too! Either way, I send you my love and lots and lots of hugs.
Hope you'll get to TTC soon!
Huh - in My Neck of the Woods we are also having this discussion (it has been on-going for 2 years) about TTC (for #2 though). Although I am the one more than ready and John is the one who keeps saying "soon". I didn't know 2 years could still be construed as "soon". :P
I think I would be in less of a rush haggling over #3 though.
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