So I still have this thing called a blog!

And I'm really awful at updating it these days! Wow- guess the least I can do is a quick photo update of the girls....

Ava... almost 4!

Faith... closer to 13 than I want her to be!

--The Milk Maid says, "Where'd the time go?"

Catching Up

Now that I have this thing called a job (that I still love, blahblahblah you know) I just am not making the time for blogging. It's much easier to come home and collapse into a pile of brainless slop on the couch. By then end of the day I am not only fulfilled beyond beyond belief, but also unable to make a coherent sentence.

When Faith asks me to do things like proofread her homework all I can do is flop violently on the couch and yell "WORDSWORDSWORDS - MAKE THEM STOP!". Of course that makes no sense to say when she's doing math, but I do suppose I still get my point across.

I told you that to tell you this story...

Faith broke her arm. Ok, sure that wasn't a very good lead in, but remember that part where I was all blahwordsblah?

Anyways, long story short Faith was on the playground playing with some friends who spun her around and around in circles when suddenly the school heffer appears and tackles Faith causing Faith to land on her elbow which causes a fracture near the growth plate at the elbow and some other place (Doc said it wasn't an important detail so I kinda blahblahed on that point) and the other Doc (orthopedist with nice ass and shorty socks (and lots of WORDSWORDS!)) said it's better be safe than sorry so (one very tedious run-on sentence later) Faith has a half cast covering from her elbow to her wrist for the next two weeks.

The above story informs the whole point (blahWORDSWORDSblah) of this post:

I was bathing Faith earlier when I tell her to make sure and wash all of her girl bits... like her hoohoo. She asks me WHY we have to bathe our hoohoos so much and then, before I can even respond about general cleanliness and hygiene and etc., she questions, "Why are hoohoos always getting dirty?"

I told her they were "self-cleaning on the inside, sort of like ovens", and with "so many folds (like hospital-cornered sheets)" they were "bound to get..." (thinking), "umm, what's the word?"

Faith says, "Boogers?! Boogers in your toot?!"

(:::Silence as I try to bounce back seamlessly from my deer-in-the-headlights-stare:::)

"Oh, and mama- on that subject I think you need to dig for gold in my nose later... If you know what I mean!"

--The Milk Maid says she still has no snark to quip at her daughter.

acne treatment

Stuff And More Stuff

It's too early for a Mish-Mash, so a Stuff-Stuff will have to suffice.

I have started having nightmares as of late. Weird, freaky dreams. Ok, so my normal dreams are weird and freaky, but they rarely prevent me from going back to sleep. As of late, my night-frights have included me shooting people with a machine gun, me running from wild animals, me stabbing a former friend with a knife... you get the idea. Mayhem ensues and I wake up trying to catch my breath and remember where I am. I totally hate that crap!

In other news, my poor Big J had to be at work by 7am. With the hour and a half drive plus time to get up and shower, etc. he was up before 5am. Then, once he got there, he basically just sat there and listened to another boss yell at the service department. Brilliant!

Here are a few pics from Christmas:

Faith & Ava by the tree

The sky on Christmas Eve... "Looking for Santa"

Happy Sissies

Even my mother was in a jolly mood!

Ava got a ride on train and tons of Dora stuff... Faith is dying to take over Ava's new chair as Paige looks on. Jef and his dad are in the background.

"Let's relax some mom!"

Did I mention I got a nice new lens for my camera?! Cheers gang!!

--The Milk Maid keeps her Moet an Chandon in a pretty cabinet. Then she drinks it!!

Because B Said So...

I have to quit sulking in the corner and get my head out of my ass. B made me...

Thanks girl. Even though you think I'm totally futch (femme+butch non-lesbian).

In celebration of me not being a depressing oaf for the next 10 minutes here's a couple pics from the day:

Ava and Zeus--

And the Christmas Tree:

Saturday Mish-Mash

(I completely forgot yesterday was Friday! Now that is when you know you are having some serious fun!)

I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A MARVELOUS THANKSGIVING! And now for a recap of what we did over the holiday...

After consuming most of a wild animal--

That would be this fine looking turkey:

And how about some mac and cheese too:

--I decided to load the girls up and head to a game ranch/petting zoo!

So the girls got dressed... And helped me walk Zeus!

Then we were off to see the animals:

Did that deer just stick it's tounge out at me?


Did I mention the animals are very very friendly?


Ava couldn't believe it either!


"Dog! Dog! Dog!" she screamed!


One of the 3 bears at the park... He sat there with his mouth open waiting on people to throw food at him. Kind of like my uncle at Thanksgiving!


I guess this is the "Turkey: Before" photo.


This little piggy would make a great friend for Faith. She already keeps a stye in her room for him.


"Not another damn goat! You people are insane. Didn't we just get rid of our two goats for eating things they weren't supposed to? Bleh!"


They were even nice enough to box up a goat for my pal B-- Check your front porch stoop next week for Billy!


It would be too easy to make a comment about Faith's father here.


"Nice mutton chops there sheep!"


Fast friends... Ava and this sheep really took up with each other.


"I have poop on my Mary Jane's mother!"

Now that is a very friendly squirrel. Faith wanted to take one home.

My girls!

We finally got Ava to stand for this photo... She wanted to sit in the leaves and play.

Double Trouble!

Ava and Bunny.

Bunny sat very still. Ava sat very still. They bonded over a cup of quiet as toddlers and older children ran like mad in the background.

No trip is complete without a ride on the Quarter Horse.

Off into the sunset we all rode... Happily ever after!

--The Milk Maid says have a cup of calm at this Arizona bed and breakfast!

Ava's 1 Year Checkup

The results are in and the weigh-in complete:

21lbs 11oz and 31" tall...

And if Jef hadn't fed Ava corn on the cob last night which caused a 3 pound POOP this morning, no telling what she would have tipped the scales at!



The doctor was very impressed with her growth, her motor skills, her climbing skills, and most of all her vocabulary. Ava's first words to the doctor were, "Hey kitty!". Ava also tried to yank all the paper off the exam table, stick the nurse in the eye with a tongue depressor, and run off down the hallway in nothing but a diaper. All in all, a very typical day in the life of Ava!

Ava got 3 shots- MMR, TB, and Hep A... they were out of the chicken pox vaccine, so we have to go beck next week (thrilling!). Also, we got a referral to a plastic surgeon to take a look at removing Ava's skin tags (in Atlanta, of freakin' course because aparantly we don't have that kind of technology here). We still aren't certain we want them removed quite yet. Gosh darn it they are adorable! They are a part of who my little pee-wee is! Sure, some kid will make fun of her one day, but I really think Ava is going to have no problem in socking the crap out of any smart mouth out there. She decked her 3 year old cousin Dawson yesterday when he took a toy away from her- imagine what she'll do when she has a little martial arts training under her belt!!


--The Milk Maid says light as a feather, stiff as a board!

And check out this nifty ad for human resources software

Happy Birthday Ava!

I tucked a baby in to bed last night, knowing that she would wake up a big girl this morning.

I sat on the couch and cried for a little while last night... I was sad my baby was growing up so fast. I was happy at how wonderful a daughter I have and how incredibly blessed I am as a mother. I cried for my friends still waiting to get their BFP. I cried for my newly pregnant pals, knowing how much their lives will change (for the better) in the near future. And of course I cried for all the moms out there- knowing they too have either shed the same tears, or would shed them very soon.

I woke up this morning, walked into Ava's room as she was still sleeping, and just I just watched her sleep. I sent my thanks to the heavens above, woke the Sleeping Beauty, and we haven't slowed down yet!

Without further adieu... HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY AVA!!!!



Fun to be one!




The dress Ava is wearing was mine... Faith also had her 1st birthday photos made in the same dress. If the next baby is a boy, I guess he's gonna have to wear it too.


Avs took the baseball from the photographer... and decided not to part with it (I had to toss it back to the cashier as we were leaving!).


All dressed up and on the go!

Sweet little Ava!


Awww... I love you Ava Helene!

--The Milk Maid loves Baby Milk-Face!

Good Monday

At least I hope it's a good Monday. At the very least it will be a busy Monday... I've already gotten Faith dressed up for school pictures, dropped her at school, been to the bank, grabbed a quick breakfast, put baby down to nap- and finally at a few minutes til 9am, I am enjoying my first sip of coffee.

Also on the agenda: this afternoon Faith has tutoring, karate, and homework. Today I have to food shop for Ava's birthday party this weekend. The only theme we are really going to have is "1st birthday". I am going to look at cakes today- perhaps a Dora or Pooh or one of those disgustingly cute little animated TV stars will be the perfect adornment to Ava's cake... I will take her with me and let her "pick" what she wants. That's for the party that includes my family. Although, the way I see it, the words "my family" and "party" tend to be mutually exclusive, but what the hell let's just make the most of it and try not to mistake anyone for a pinata!

This weekend went great at the tattoo booth- I tattooed a whole softball team, a lot of cute little kiddos, and this one HOT lady came by and asked if I would tattoo her ass... and then she yanked her pants down. I was like, well ok! I thought I was going to have to douse Jef with my bottle of water. After she left I handed him a towel and told him to mop up the drool. All in all, it was a great time AND we made quite a bit of moolah for the upcoming cruise (or if I decide to skip town and say, head to Houston or somewhere :P ).

Sunday was pretty tame... we went out to eat at our favorite wing place. We had just gotten our drinks (water, luckily) and Jef was trying to keep Ava from dropping something on the floor and SPLASH... I got drenched with 2 full glasses of water right in my lap. I felt more sorry for Jef that I did for me. I said that I had needed a bath anyway and was SO glad I'd decided to wear dark jeans instead of those white pants I'd been eyeballing. I was mostly dry when we went to the Wally World, except that huge wet patch on my ass cheek. Siiiigh!!

And now for your daily dose of Ava:
U/S- 19 weeks

4-D scan, 26 weeks (all smooshed up)

Minutes after birth... she is blue from compression bruising due to the fact that she was in a HURRY to be born (less than 3 hours from the time my water broke until her arrival)


3 Days Old- hanging out on the couch with mom


She loves the blowdryer


One of my favorite "Ava is pissed" photos!

--The Milk Maid is a rock star!

Mishy-Mashy Friday

It's 9am and I am already exhausted. I guess it's the weather- we are getting remnants of Humberto and everything is foggy and groggy.

Tomorrow Big J and I load up for the traveling tattoo show. There is a chili cookoff and car show and we are setting up a little booth for airbrush tattoos. I have worked on the posters for displaying the stencils for days and it's finally done. So much detail work, so little patience. Hopefully we wont get rained out!! I found out this morning they have been announcing this event over the radio AND mentioning our temp-tats! Wooohoooo!

RNPC weigh-in: 188... I found a few of those lost pounds. That makes me +2 from last week, but -3 total. That's life, ay? I did do a little time with the karate kick-bag, so I made an effort! Yay me!

Because my little sweet pee-wee Ava will be one in 5 days and I never got to blog her nursery and all that jazz (and I am finally getting pics framed AND hung up, well some are hung) here are some pictures for your pleasure!


The portraits on the right and left were done when Ava was only 9 days old. She still had her belly button cord stump! At the session we got peed and pooped on multiple times... but, the end result was FAB! The middle pic (which is in better detail below) is called "Awaiting Ava".


"Awaiting Ava"--- Jef was just welled up with tears thru my whole maternity photo shoot. He said he'd never seen me more beautiful than when I was pregnant, and especially that day (except maybe when we got married, but it was a close call there). The look on his face in that picture says it all... Sigh... I get the warm fuzzies from that one everytime I walk into Ava's room. (And no, I don't have 4 hands in the first pic... 2 of those belong to Jef!).


Another maternity session pic... I have a frame, but it hasn't made it in there yet. What you dont see is Faith behind be holding my drape (the infamous "sheet"- more on that in another blog) and a fan in front of me blowing a tiny hair in my face that was tickling me to no end.


This is Ava's willow tree. I did the whole nursery by myself- I painted everything, picked crown moulding (ok Jef used the saw to cut it and helped me nail it up), I got all the bedding and accessories, decorated it, etc etc. The willow tree is not a handpainted mural (I wish!), it's a thing called "tatouage" that is basically 50 sheets of tree that you put against the wall one by one and rub on- like a transfer- with a popcycle stick. It took me 8 hours to complete (it's over 7 feet tall), but it's perfect! And if I ever move that wall is going with me. We bought the tree before we got married... we knew it would go in our baby's nursery one day.


Ava (9 days old) and mommy. It's hard to remember her being that small (and her hair being chocolately brown!).

That's it for now... this coming week will be Ava Theme Week!