My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


6/12/07

Gobbeldy Goop Tuesday

From MSN's Daily Horoscope:

"You need to cut down on stress and stop getting all upset over nothing, dear Capricorn! Even if, up until now, you haven't been able to figure out what is really bothering you, today you will understand some of the mysteries of your personality, and understand what it is exactly that causes those chronic mood swings of yours. You'll see that you have nothing to worry about!"


Just way too accurate there, peeps. If I could understand ANY of the mysteries of my personality it would be one of those light-on over the head moments, complete with choir accompaniment. Maybe I understand those mysteries, I just don't accept them. Humm, fatal flaws be damned here we go a bloggin...


Can I just say B&K crack me up! You girls- whew! I can totally see us having zany, comicbook-like adventures and taking over the world. At least that's the grand image I have replaced the sperm-tub with! And THAT whole scene would be a wonderful horror movie plot-- "You have SPERM!", she gasped as she vaulted her nakedness from the evil vat of man-juice. Of course the title would be Horns, Bitch Shoes, and Sperm (thanks becca!).


Ok, since it was somewhat requested (that'd be you B) here is just how dirty my little mind is (just a glimpse, really!):


I constantly think about sex. I swear, my brain must be hardwired for having a penis. If I have a moment to think that isn't about breathing, kids, or general safety, then I am thinking about sex. Jef knows and understands this. He is totally immune to me grabing his butt or other places just because I cannot control myself. He gets boobs shaken his way about twice a day on average and he's like "(YAWN) yay, boobs". Now, physical actions aside anyone is fair game for the playingfield of my inner psyche. Hey, come back here!! I'm not getting all cyber-wankie with y'all. You girls are like sisters, and I definately draw the line at incest. Unless I had a really hot twin...


See- I can't control myself. I don't hump strangers legs in public, but I might have a brilliant flash of "Oooh I would sure love to..." and then it's all back to "Hello Mr. Grocery Store Cashier". It's kind of fun really... Jef has made it into a game. He will say "What about that person?" and point and I tell him some really nasty 2 sentence fantasy.


Ok- get out of my head! That's as far as we are traveling today my dearies.


--Milk Maid saves money on showers by only using cold water

16 comments:

underdog said...

you should have been in on my IM conversation with my sister on Friday. We were exchanging internet images of various moviestar types with intros like "I'd ... with this one". As an example, I would TOTALLY sleep with Brad AND Angelina. Together. mmmm

Milk Maid said...

If you bag Brad and Angelina you'd better make room for ME in that bed (floor, van, public place)!!

B said...

Okay, you girls are some freaky biotches and I am completely shocked! : )
Aradia, I hear ya about your brain being hard wired for a penis. I had kinda hoped my sex drive would mellow with age..but it seems to be getting worse..now i'm just a dirty old lady! What's worse is K is totally blockin the crotch right now on the off chance that she may be pg!

B ::::pushing Aradia out of that cold shower cuz it's her turn:::::::

B said...

5 reasons not to be a penis...

1. You're bald your whole life.

2. You have a hole in your head.

3. Your neighbors are nuts.

4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and...

5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

Supermom said...

Aradia, I will call you. B, you are too funny

Marcy "meg" said...

You guys crack me up :) This is becoming quite entertaining and I like it!

kittenroar5 said...

Gee, I'm come home from work and everyone's hanging out in the gutter. I'm purely vanilla, of course. :)

Kelly said...

Oh please let me know where you are getting the energy to maintain such a high libido! Matt would greatly appreciate you girls letting me in on the knowledge =)

Estella's Moms said...

Wow! I'm with Kelly. Aside from a brief period after giving birth, my sex drive has been ZERO. Of course that doesn't stop me from talking a big game...but it is all talk. Cheers to all of you women who manage to keep those fires burning! I'm totally jealous

B said...

darlin, it's not good for the fires to burn if you're the only one who wants to get your hands warm!!! feel me?

B

singletracey said...

Penis, sex, what is that??? My kitty has turned ferrel!!! I dont know if she will ever be able to enjoy the company of others again!!

B said...

Tracey! HA HAHAHAHA that made me laugh girl. Lets just hope the kitty doesn't turn on you one day when you're enjoying ..ummm.. alone time.

B

Milk Maid said...

The ferrel kitty... omg T. I almost peed myself. Truly, the only difference between a man and a vibe is that a man will occassionally cut the grass. Too bad everyone is so far away, or I'd have a wild "adult toy" party for this crew.

B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kittenroar5 said...

Are you still here? I'm worried about the deleted comment! We miss the snark and sass!

Milk Maid said...

Haha- Didnt even know I had a deleted comment--- anyone see it?