My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Friday Mish Mash

Tis Friday the 13th... my lucky day! It just seems to run that way for me- I don't know why, and I don't question it! It's better that way.

I got scolded, but not for one of my usual stunts. This is for something I didn't do (other than laundry, dishes, etc). I didn't report to you my sexual adventure last Sunday on the couch. We had couch sex. It was marvelous. My dear sweet J will be so happy now. He felt it was truly blog-worthy.

And speaking of sex... We did have a little playtime last nite... one of those "lock the doors and run to the bedroom whilst the children sleep" adventures. We actually plotted out a plan of action- music, mood lighting, the works. Wow-the best I can recall that's what sex is like before kids!

I had every intention to come home from my morning errands and work on expanding the ol' specialty promotion biz that I run with dad. But as you can tell, I got sidetracked. I've developed a horrible work ethic as of late. There is so much time that I'm flat out busy with the kiddos, cooking special meals for Jef, doing all the mundane household chores that I am contractually obligated to do as a wife, and then everything else that pops up that "Only I Can Accomplish This Task!", that when it comes to actually being productive in the business I have 1% to give. Sure, I could schedule an hour every day to blahblahblah. It makes me nauseated to think of that kind of regime in my life. Sigh! Maybe I can just train Jim to do it all!

I was driving to the water park Wednesday (in the rain*, duh!) and looked down towards the crap holder (map pocket) in the driver's door and there was Ronny's driver's license. Jef's sis had given it to him as a memento (oh the odd things we do). I picked it up while waiting at a traffic light and looked at it. I almost started crying. It's so weird to see "Uncle Hippy". If he shaved his beard he'd look just like Jef. In fact, when we were cleaning up around his house Jef scared the crap out of one of the neighbor ladies. She said, "I thought you were Ronny!"

It just doesn't get any easier, does it?

*Dad's mantra "We're getting wet anyway!"

I can't leave on that depressing of a note, so here's something slightly amusing I wrote a few years ago during one of my many allergy attacks:

My Ode To Hives, October 2001-

"Burning Desire"

Hives, hives
Makes me itchy.
Scratching, squirmy,
Getting bitchy.
How I hate them,
How they whelp-
Benadryl doesn't even help!
Itchy, scratchy, burning mess-
It'll go away in time... I guess.

--The Milk Maid needs a milk bath


Michell said...

Glad the couch is being used to it's full potential. I know what you mean about the driver's license and how something like that can make you cry. I had one of those moments last month over my dad and he's been gone 13 years.

Anonymous said...

How could not report couch sex? Shame on you! I'd take any kind of sex right now, couch, bed, dining room table... MIL's in town, the place is small, and I'm a bit reserved when it comes to doing the deed with family in the house. Anyway, glad you are having fun. Can't wait to hear what wonderful things happen for you today!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and good luck getting Jim to work for you. I can't get him to be productive for me at all! All he wants to do is sit around and drink whiskey. Not that I mind often, but sometimes...

Marcy "meg" said...

awesome on the couch sex... keep up the good work A and J!!!!

and Kelly I know what you mean about the having reservations when family is in the house.. Kris's mom is still staying with us... good thing she works nights alot!!!

kittenroar5 said...

I won't let B near me when my stays. It's way too weird. And, couch sex. I'm jealous. I tried to talk B into table sex last night, but all she could think about were those damn bones!

And, when I come to visit, I'll need to sleep somewhere you and J have not had sex. Heteros. Ick!

B said...

Don't let K fool you. If she weren't with me..she be with a guy if he were smart/cute. As for the table sex..I thought she was kidding..she wanted to play strip flash cards. Freaky bitch! : )

Milk Maid said...

First of all K, there are lots of places we havent- well you know- gotten romantic. Like the garage. And the basement. Or the cars. We also have a new air mattress we've not worked over, but at the rate of things you'd better hurry! B- K is a freaky bitch, but I think you had at least a small part in that.

Kelly- Jim just drinks all the time here too. I tell him I need his help and he gives me that pouty look and the hair toss, and well what's a gal to do? Sigh!

B said...

That's what she WANTS you all to think! I was so sweet and innocent before I met her. She's my first you know.