My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Bad For Business

Dreams must be catching... Here's my latest crazy dream:

I was in M.acy's, but instead of it being at the mall it was in my high school cafeteria. I was going to shop towards the back of the store, but I ran into an old friend of mine and we decided to try on bras in the middle of the store way up high on a podium. A big purple podium. So, we climb the podium and there are guys everywhere- lots of familiar faces from school (even though the girl is still a random, nameless person the guys are all clear as day!). We find lots of bras to try on because a conveyor belt drops them off for us- and they all fit perfectly (this is when I totally realized I was dreaming). My friend and I noticed we didn't have any cash, so then we tried to steal the bras and some blue jeans that were laying up there too. We couldn't get the security devices off.

In the weird way that dreams shift around seamlessly, we (me, Random Girl, Random Guy, and a guy that I know EXACTLY who he was because I had a crush on him for, lets say all of middle and high school-- we'll call him V) are all suddenly in a car in a used car lot. We all start making out with each other. Random Girl and Random Guy leave the car together to have sex on the hood of a car next to me and V. Of course I join the festivities with V. Suddenly, a camera crew shows up and we all start shooting a porn video. A little while later the owner of the car lot comes out and runs us off because we are "bad for business"!!

Anyone care to analyze that?

--The Milk Maid is rated TV-MA.


Marcy "meg" said...

I am not good at analyzing dreams... BUT it sounds like it was a pretty good one!!!!

Anonymous said...

Does this really need analysis? I mean, we all know how randy you are =)

B said...

Dude, I wouldn't know where to start. Aside from the boys..the sex part sounds awesome!

Deena said...

I think we might need to call in a shrink for this dream interpretation...
I couldn't begin to go into my crazy dreams. And lately none of them have included sex. DAMN!
Only scary people invading my space, people like Eddie Murphy and the janitor in my office building.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Uh, spicy food before bed? Porn-star wanna-be?!

Milk Maid said...

Uh- Mc D's before bed (oh and that little bit of Shiraz) and I'm totally a Wanna-Be when it comes to anything on film. The only thing + that the camera adds 10lbs to are my boobs... and that's just scary! :P

Michell said...

You and me and our crazy wacky dreams. Nope, wouldn't know where to start to analyze that one. Mine do a lot of weird shifting around too but later I usually don't remember that part.

twondra said...

Man, why can't I have dreams like that? I agree with Kelly....does this really need analysis?? :)