My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.



I'm back gang... still under the weather (and so freakin' tried it's not even funny since I only can manage about 3 hours of sleep a night before my sinuses fill up with snot and I simultaneously drown while my eyeballs explode from their sockets) but I'm getting a little skip back in my step.

A big shout out to the person from way over yonder in India for googling "I eat my sister passy every night" and finding me. Did you mean passy? C'mon dude, that's nasty either way.

Anywhos- I got a jury summons for the week that I have my final exams (because I'm so talented like that). This is one fabulous time to know my father and all his connections at the court house since he volunteered to get me out of serving. You'd think they would cut me a little slack considering that time they MADE me have jury duty twice in a little over a month. Frick on a stick, yo!

On a completely unrelated to anything note: Every time I watch Go, Deigo Go! and they sing vamos, Diego vamos! I have to sing vomit, Diego vomit! It was bad enough Jennifer got me singing backfat in place of backpack on Dora, and now this.

Apparently, people want to know my mood trigger from the other day. Do you really want to know? Really? Fine then... an 8 year old girl needed a kidney and her parents made a flyer and some random lady picked up said flyer and the little girl was soooo cute that random lady just had to see if she was a match and shonuff she was a perfect match and random lady gave cute kid a kidney out of the goodness of her heart- her heart people! It made me want to hurl. And hurl things at people, because we all know this is crap and not how shit goes down in the real world. A flyer, huh? Let me dress Big J up in a pink hair bow and a My Pretty Pony robe and coach him on how to look sad yet full of life and I can pimp his mug all over town and SOME kind random person will say, "Take my kidneys- all of them- I need them not, Sir Jeffrey! For you are so cute I must give you ALL my internal organs!!!! How fortuitous that your wife made a flyer for you!"

It makes me a little crunchy, k? May I have that emesis bucket? Barf. Thanks.

Told you that you'd be doing the pointy-finger-going-in-circles-at-your-temple-pointing-out-a-crazy-person thing.

That about wraps up everything you missed here my peeps. Well, all the really important stuff anyway- *wink*!! I guess it's time to start dragging out my luggage and revise my packing list for a little trip I'm going to take very soon. Oh, what's this trip you say? If I told you it'd take all the fun out of it.

--The Milk Maid hopes her temporary landlords know how to make flyers!
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Deena said...

What you say? A TRIP? hmmmmmm.

I know somebody that can make flyers. And there are many people in this town with extra kidneys...
I'm just saying.

Hope you feel better soon! The Lazy P says blow your nose, not your mind!

Ethansmama said...

A trip? Where ya going? Can I come too? Yah we dont watch diego here. we are a Disney house. I can sing all the songs from higglytown heroes (they're weebles ya know), tigger and pooh, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny, little einsteins, and ethans favorite, the doodlebops (they are a bit scary)!

B said...

You're tripping? Where ya going? I hear your new landlady is a real bitch! My jeep is already beat up. So, if you decided to trip over here, we could go kidney shopping while there are lots of pedestrians wandering about. I told you what your real "trigger" was..and I know i'm right. Mark my word..someone put the stink eye on you!

The Milk Maid said...

B- you are your conspiracy theories! Are you becoming your mother?

If the other stinkeye person is my trigger then why was I so darned happy last night? Oh yeah, I remember now.

Michell said...

yay for trips. How fun. Who is Diego?? Is that something I get to tolerate if I ever manage to have kids? We could make flyers. They might be a bit twisted but we could make them. Hope that cold goes away soon.

Marcy "meg" said...

If I was going on a trip with you... we could snot and cough together... :) I hope you continue to feel better.

B said...

Girl, I became my mother a LOOOOONG time ago! You love me, you know you do!

Anonymous said...

I say forget the flyers and find yourself a Charlie.
Chaaaarliiiee! Chaaaaarlie!

Anonymous said...

Do you REALLY think you can sit here in front of a dozen infertiles that hate the world and all its easy baby makers and feel that we all judge YOU for that??? Pa lease....girlfriend, we get it completely.

And we like you. :-)

Becky said...

I need an barf bucket, too, after reading that!