My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Q&A, One-Liners, And More

Since no one will allow me to roll around and whine for too long, here is the REAL post for the day:

Let's start with a question or two:

Q. Why does Metamuc*l taste like horse food pellets?
A. ?? Anyone, anyone?

Q2. How do you know what horse food tastes like?
A. It was a DARE!
A Note from Milk Maid:

I hate Valentine's day. It sucks. Even if you are married or partnered or otherwise in lovie-dovie doodoo with someone, it's crappy. I'm sure it stems back from many moons of being an outcast child who had to be the smelly kid's girlfriend for the day JUST SO I could get a card. Sigh.
If I had to write a news letter for Phlebotomists, it would be called "Blood Culture". Of course it would be published in red ink.
I miss Weebles Wobble. I understand why you teeter-tottered into the sunset for a while, but just know that when you/if you open up version 2.0 I wanna be there for the tape-cutting and the grand unveil. (Signed) Waiting patiently, Your adoring fan, A.
We are off on a weekend trip to Tennessee (did I get all the S's and E's in there?) on Saturday morning. Don't worry- I'll take plenty of photos and make you sick with delight. It'll be like having a big honkin' steak dinner THEN eating a whole chocolate cake. With sprinkles. And chocolate sauce.
My mother is obsessed with whether I am wearing socks or not. It's 22 degress today, and if I wanna wear clogs without socks, then dammit- it's MY feet woman.

--The Milk Maid says it would be a lot more fun to be down and out in Beverly Hills.


B said...

Put some damn socks on! I'll miss you guys while you're in TN, but i'll probably just call you. Stop being whiney..I wont put up with it. The stinky kid huh? Hmm, you know how I feel about hygene..not sure I agree with your stooping to that level.

Marcy "meg" said...

Have a blast in TN!!! And yes you better take lots of pictures!

B said...

Hmm, do you feel like a butt hole now for being a V day Grinch?

The Milk Maid said...

I always feel like a butthole B... it's just like every other day (still). :P

Deena said...

Have fun in Tennessee. It sounds like your V D started out like mine. I hope mine ends like yours.

I'll miss you while you're away! Take lots of pics, k?

Michell said...

I'm with you, I hate Valentines day. It sucks big time. Have fun in TN.

Anonymous said...

I miss Weeble too :-(

VDay aint my friend.

But some damn socks on woman!

twondra said...

We're gonna miss you tons girl! Hope you have a great time and can't wait to see the pictures. :)