My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Blog, What Blog?

Yeah, so sue me- I've been sparse. Let's pick up about 12 hours after I wrote my Lactation Cessation Post on Friday shall we?

Because my children have the ultimate goal in life to make me out to be a liar, Ava started on a nursing-freakin-frenzy Friday night. I was delighted until Saturday when she wouldn't get off my boob! My gawd child, it's been nearly a week- what is the deal? Did you suddenly remember you liked ninny-nectar? Were you feeling a little needy? What was that whole "nurse until I bring up a blood blister on your boober" thing about? Seriously kid, are you in or are you out?

Sunday we went to a local "German Themed Town" a little north of here. We ate wiener schnitzel and kraut and drank beer and then we went for fudge, chocolate, rock candy, a funnel cake, chocolate dipped strawberries, more fudge, divinity candy, and pecan logs. Then we went into a sugary coma and died. Right there next to the horse drawn carriage. Kablooey.

Yesterday I stuck my first REAL LIVE ARM attached to a REAL LIVE PERSON in phleb class! I poked my ditzy pal Kate on her right arm, hit the vein perfectly and then the dumbass moved.her.arm. And the needle pulled out. And she bled on the chair. Then I stuck her other arm, the teacher made her not move, and I did perfect. Cause I'm like that, ya know. In spurts at least.

Today Kate and our other pal Cindy went to Cindy's house and swam and sunbathed. Then they decided I should pierce their belly buttons. And I did, because I'm very accommodating and I happen to keep a rather large stash of pre-sterilized piercing needles on hand at all times (because god only knows what needs a hole poked in it, am I right or am I right?).

Anyways... Here I sit sunburned, relaxing from the day with my Big J who is home early thanks to a dentist appointment.

Tune in tomorrow for more shenanigans!

--The Milk Maid says poke me, poke me!


B said...

Hey Big J! Make Milk Maid quit talking about them cutting muscles in your mouth and stuff to me. Thanks, I knew I could count on your Big J!

babybound said...

I think Ava clearly loved all that beer and chocolate. That's why she's back on the boob sauce.

Michell said...

Wow, you've been busy. Hope the blister is gone again. Ouch that sounds painful.

twondra said...

You go girl! You've been pretty busy!

Worker Mommy said...

OOO...don't you hate it when things come back and bite you in the ass ;)

Deena said...

I'm going to start calling you Pokewoman.
I am impressed by your PHLEB skills. But I won't lend you my arm for practice cuz I'm a chicken.
Piercing also? Who knew?

jennifer said...


Favorite new phrase. Shall gear conversations towards using it from now on.

Aunt Becky said...

WooHoo! First blood draw!

singletracey said...

Your first POKE!! How fun!! Well, it isn't really your FIRST poke.. because I mean.. you do have kids and all so we know you got poked... about the first time being the POKEY!!

All that chocolate sounds divine...

Marcy "meg" said...

Congrats on the poke! I am sure you are doing wonderful at it!!!

Marcy "meg" said...

I just reread my comment and that could be taken several ways :)