My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Window Pain

Once upon a time, in a far away land, lived the Milk Maid and her exceedingly brilliant husband, the Milk Man.

These two characters cavorted in many a scheme, but perhaps none so great as to install a window in the sacred kitchen. You see, long before the Milk Man came to live in the Casa Del Leche, the industrious Milk Maid built (with her own glove-clothen hands) the soon to become Casa De Leche for all to see. However, the kitchen sink view was lacking in the fact that there was no window to view the glory beyond it's pane (on a side note, the garage is all there would be to view, but nonetheless the Milk Maid proclaimed that if she were to stand for wretched hours on end scrubbing and scraping and cleaning the dishes like some simple peasant girl well she absolutely MUST have a glimpse of something other than sheet rock).

The Milk Man obliged the fair Milk Maid, measuring and cutting the wall that was to become a portal to the world.

The Milk Maid was slightly worried, but she had complete faith and trust in her man. Well, pretty much.

The preliminary cuts were made, and the Milk Man handed his lovely bride her tool kit. She chose the hammer without further adieu.

Ravishing the wall blow by blow, like a scene from a Victorian Romance Novel gone amok, the Milk Maid tore away at the wall.

A gasp from the Milk Maid... Was it the evil sorcerer behind the wall? A dragon? The curse of a long dead king?

No... it was far worse!

It was 2 electrical cables, one telephone wire, and a 4 inch water pipe that gripped our sweaty adventurers that day.

The Milk Man turned to the Milk Maid, with love in his eyes and proclaimed, "Woman, I think our journey should end here".

The Milk Maid, with sorrow in her eyes asked, "Why can we make an S-bend in the pipe and reroute the wires? I mean, come on dude- let's rock and roll. Mama wants to see some sunshine every once and a while!".

The Milk Man touted, "Fair Maid of the Milk, have you lost your mind? Do you know the hours evolved in something of that magnitude?"

The Milk Maid looked almost doleful, then recanted, "Hey jackleg- all I want is a little sunshine in MY day, I don't know about YOU, but..."

"How about a nice tile back splash here? It's easy to patch sheet rock, and we can put a beautiful mosaic- perhaps of the beach- right about here..."

"Ooooh!" gleamed the Milk Maid. "And maybe even a little metal back splash over here, and some blue paint here, and a new floor here, and even a couple of new handles for the cabinets which need a good scrubbing by the by, and maybe even a couple..."
--The Milk Man says "Yes, my lady"!


B said...

I just want it put on the record that I told you that this was a very bad idea before you guys even got home from the hardware store!!! I'm good at home repair fuck ups..and saw this one coming I tells ya!!

The Mother Hen said...

You two are adorable...thats all I have to say.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say, I'm with you sister. Windows rock. and wires? They are flexible no?

RaJen said...

oooh, cannot wait to see results! (in whatever form, shape, or fashion they should present themselves :)

twondra said...

You guys are too cute!

Deena said...

I know a good electrician if you need one...most Milk Man's that I know are afraid of electricity. They only specialize in dairy.
Please bless us with the ending of this fairy tale! I don't know how long I can wait!

jennifer, playgroups are no place for children said...

I can't believe that he agreed to have his picture made like this!

Good luck with your "window."

Michell said...

Funny. I love the picture story.

Michelle said...

LOL, that was GREAT!

2daydiet said...

thank you