My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


"Like Some Kind Of Cloning Experiment"

"I do not want my pants touching my stomach!" commanded the Big One. "I do not want to wear socks- they hurt my feet and make my toes feel crunchy!" she lamented as she rolled around on the hardwood floor with a foot in the air. She is not a morning person. She doesn't like authority telling her what to do. Although highly open to suggestions, she will not take a direct order. She's moody, she's willful, and she's stubborn. And impatient. She's also tenderhearted, a daydreamer, always willing to stop and help a friend or an animal. Did I mention she's also impatient?

The Little One has a stare that will pierce your soul. She's demanding. She's particular. She makes Imelda Marcos' love for shoes look like a carefree weekend hobby. She can pick the simple style of door lock with a screw driver. She can charm the pants off a priest, she can sell a leg of lamb to a vegetarian, and she has so much energy that at times it's like watching a comet rocket through the living room.

Between the two of my daughters, I can't even begin to tell you who has the most vivid of personalities. Faith is constantly into a video game or a scary RL Stine-ish book. Ava has her daddy wrapped around her pinkie finger. Faith can be like living with a piranha- don't dangle your sarcasm into her lake of wit or you will be gobbled up. The velociraptor's style befits Ava... show her something just one time and she will come back and gnaw your arm off with the knowledge she's gained.

And to think, as smart and funny and beautiful as my girls have been described by others (as well as myself) the same theme keeps coming up over and over...

They are exactly like I am. They look like me, they act like me, they walk and talk like me. I hate pants on my belly button. I can pick locks with screw drivers.
I made the comment to Jef the other night (after Ava had flooded the bathroom floor with a cup she'd hidden away sometime after her last bath... um, premeditation anyone?), that was something to the effect of "I hope the next kid that springs forth from my womb is a HELL of a lot more like you than me!"
--The Milk Maid says wee wee wee all the way home.


battynurse said...

Laughing. I worry sometimes about my children turning out like me. That could be scary.

twondra said...

You crack me up all the time. Thanks! :)

B said...

I about peed my pants in the grocery store last night when you told me about Ava and that lock! Your girls aren't half bad..but then neither are you.

Love ya!

Loalled said...

great post, good chuckle! thx for sharing.


Anonymous said...

The screwdriver pics are super scary. That kid is going to be serious trouble.

And Faith is perfect. Absolutely perfect!


Marcy "meg" said...

I hate pants on my belly button too!!!!