My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Tales From The Clinic

My first week at work went exceptionally well. I learned that a PRN schedule (which is Latin for something-er-other meaning "as needed") does not mean part time. I have seen more days start at 7:30am and end at 6pm this week than I care to recall, but I can't complain about any of it.

I'm enjoying my work immensely. Truth be told, I'm certain that I've found my calling. To delve deeper into that truth, my true true calling is on the pediatric side of the lab. As much as I love MY kids, it's some times hard to channel those feelings towards other people's brood, especially in a doctor's office setting where the children are scared of the sharp things I'm about to make them bleed with.

I can do finger sticks with my eyes closed, I have no problem doing venous draws on children ranging in age from 6 months to adulthood, I can point to the bathroom while cheerily saying "pee in this cup", and I'm quite adept at mopping up all the piss from little boys who can't drive their weeners.

On that note can I just say to all the males in the universe:

It's a CUP. It's DEEP. Hold the cup in one hand and drive your penis with the other. Yes, go on... stick it waaaay down inside that cup. I don't care how lacking you are in the size department, you do NOT have to piss all over the toilet, the wall, the sink, and the toilet paper. If I can pee in a gallon milk jug while riding down the road in the cab of a tractor trailer then by golly you can hit that 3 inch opening.

--The Milk Maid says her soap box makes her about 6 feet tall!


battynurse said...

I always enjoyed working with the kids too. It felt good that I could often make a scary experience go quickly and well enough that it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. Glad you are enjoying your new job.

Dory said...

"...and I'm quite adept at mopping up all the piss from little boys who can't drive their weeners."

Actually LOLd and told Hunky about that giggly bit!

twondra said...

You're so funny. You've definitely found your calling. :)

Aunt Becky said...

I'm kinda horrified by the thought of grown men peeing all over the bathroom. Makes me glad I never had to deal with a room after another *ahem* weenier sample was collected.

Marcy "meg" said...

I am so glad you are liking the job!

B said...

Thanks for keeping me entertained all week! Love ya girl!