My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Apparantly, I'm Really Wacky

Lady Doc (who goes by a nickname that makes me want to rub my legs together and make chirping noises in the summertime) managed to decide, after a very brief chat, that I am "way beyond her level of expertise" and referred me to a psychologist. She did agree with me, before turfing me to the shrink, that my meds were not working (yay for you on that 10+ years of med school, your parents must be soooo proud) and decided to go "old school" (yeah, she said that) and tank me up on some Pro*zac until the shrink could get a hold of me.

And by Pro*zac I mean something like 50mg of Pro*zac once a day (with permission to take it 2 times a day if I was "really in need".)

So, in my mind I heard the following from Lady Doc:

"You are completely kooky and I cannot help you and/or I am afraid you will sneak up the stairwell* and poke my eyes out with a 21 gauge strait needle as I am doing a pelvic exam on some one's grandma."

(*My ob/gyn is located directly above the lab, hence the reason why I point towards the sky whenever I say coochie doc, be it at work or home. And admittedly, when I am at home it is a little weird to say GYNO(!) and point to the ceiling fans.)

On a funny note, the shrink I've been referred to is named Mimi. I cannot pronounce her last name, so I refer to her as Mimi Smartypants. Oooh yeah!

Please stay tuned for the next episode of "OMG! They think I'm as nuts as I think I am (finally)!"

I am waiting for the moment the shrink asks me, "Well how does that make you feel?" and I punch her in the face and reply, "Yup- about like THAT!"

--The Milk Maid says she would never sneak up a stairwell (she would scale the side of the building!)


B said...

So apparently the new found crazies that we're embracing are prompting you to blog more often. Don't forget to pretend to be a piece of sizzling bacon while laying on the white couch..that ALWAYS freaks em out. You're on my mind constantly butthead. Love you.

Aunt Becky said...

I *hate* it when medical professionals make you feel crazy. Sorry, MM. Hope you feel less wacky soon.

Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot for making me choke on a sip of wine so as not to wake the husband!
I remember the Proz, the Welbutrin, the Celexa, and others I can't remember or spell correctly. My (not) favorite,whichever it was,reminded me of a step-ladder,made me so sleepy and lethargic after the morning dose but didn't do shiz to help me sleep at night. That pill was great fun considering I had a 6 month old who was able to survive the day on 2 hours of sleep.
If I had the energy at the time, I would have erected an altar in honor of the nurse prac. who thought to check my thyroid levels after I had what I thought to be a heart attack while nursing my 2nd daughter. I crawled to my front door so the paras could get in.
I didn't receive a trophy for my higher than the highest over-active thyroid level ever recorded, but I did get a handy dandy RX for 3 years to get that naughty gland back in line.
Ame in TN

City Girl said...

Like Anon, I hated the Welbutrin, et al ad nauseum.

Got me some Lexapro last year and started mixing it with Xanax - I can finally have conversations with coworkers without having to keep my hands in my pockets - cuz I'd choke me a bitch.

Serenity now.

Anonymous said...