My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


The Mario Batali Dream

If you have ever watched the Food Network, then you most likey have seen Mario Batali of Molto Mario and Iron Chef America. If you haven't, think big, pale red haired Italian guy who wears shorts and orange Crocs. Here's a visual:

I had a weirdo sex dream about Mario... Here it is:

I was at my aunt's house cooking for a party in this dream when suddenly, Mario appeared and offered to help me cook. I was delighted because there was so much to be done for the party. We started chopping onions and then the scene changed to my aunt's laundry room. Mario was flirting with me, and I started flirting back. He kept looking at my boobs so I grabbed them and gave them a shake in his direction. Then he grabbed my boobs and started kissing them (Magically, I had no shirt or bra on at this point). About that time I started squirting milk and he was in awe- he said he'd never seen anything like that before- ever! I said, "Mine are the only ones that can do this. The only ones in the whole world!"

That was pretty much the extent of it. I told Jef and he hasn't stopped laughing about it. We were watching tv last nite and Mario was on as we flipped channels. I can't even look at him any more. And I'll never ever be able to go into my aunt's laundry room again without thinking about my semi-sex dream with Mario.

I have to stop watching so much tv before bedtime!


Berrymomnw said...

Of all the Food Network chefs...Why him? He doesn't exactly exude sex appeal!

Milk Maid said...

My thoughts exactly, Berrymom! Why not Tyler Florence or even Alton Brown. Heck- Give me Rachael Ray! Siiigh- Isnt that life?! ;)

singletracey said...

HAHAHAHHAH Mario!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bobby Flay would have been a better choice! Oh well!!

Catcha later my little sun ray. That is my new nickname for you Aradia :-) I am feeling way better today. I slept with my stork, chilled out a bit and today I am feeling better. Waiting to see what the Dr says before I stress myself out! HUGS~