My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Men and Horses

Occasionally, a string of thoughts will enter my head and weave their way through until they are in a tight knit. The following is an excerpt from my "brain scarf" of the day (what a yarn)!

This may sound like a primer on horses... but it's really a comparison of a horse to a man. Use your imagination, and have fun:

Say you have a young horse. They need to be broken. That's all there is to it! You have to get them used to listening to YOU, make them behave properly, and get them used to being under saddle. Sometimes you need spurs, some train easy. Oh yeah, most important: Wean them from their mothers as soon as possible!

Now, if you start with an older horse that someone else has trained, you might get a good ride from the beginning, or you might have to retrain them to your style of horsemanship. Some like to chomp at the bit, raring to go, even after years of galloping the trails. Some need a little extra TLC to get their butts up and going. Many times a horse like this is used to riding the same old trails. They get so used to the same old trail in fact that they can go from point A to point B with their eyes closed. Oh sure, that can be a boring ride, but these horses never go jumping any fences to play with the mares next door (Of course, that's probablly because they have been threatened with gelding if they do).

Now a young stallion makes for an exhilariting ride! The downfall is the rides are not paced, over quickly, and studs are known for only going where they think they need to go. It is possible to ride your young stud more than once a day... but stallions are selfish, and this can lead to dissapointment. There's always a nice shower waiting back at the ranch for the rider so that she may overcome her frustrations in a peaceful, civilized manner.

Keep in mind that horses need to be cleaned up after a LOT. They need near constant grooming. They would leave the barn with any old saddle on- or no saddle at all- unless you make sure it's appropriate for them. They need nail trimmings- which you usually must pay someone to do. Supplements are needed for health, but be prepared to shove them down the horse's throat.

Horses are lots of work. But at the end of the day, when they come stick their warm muzzle on your shoulder and sigh, you know they are worth the extra effort.

Question: Do you know the difference between a horse and a husband?

Answer: A horse will never turn into a jackass!

(Oh, what kind of horse is Jef?... He's well mannered under saddle, never gets loose and goes playing with other horses, and is good with children. He eats out of my hand, pulls his own weight, and is fairly easy to groom! I still have to shove pills down his throat though! Hehe- love you hunny!)


Berrymomnw said...

I think your next project should be a book! I would read it!

meg said...

Your writing is so funny... I just love it!

singletracey said...

hahahahah... you are too funny girl!