I'm Buzzing!

No, I have not been into the Patron Tequila. My head is buzzing for a far less fun reason than that (even considering that the last time I shot tequila I puked on the side of the road, in a car, in my floor, in the shower, knocked myself unconscious, and woke up with a fro!).

I have a cold. I'm all sinusy (new word) and I keep looking at the floor to see if my eyes have fallen out yet. Oh what fun this is! Ava is snotty- that's the best description I can give you. It's not really phasing her. She did sleep 13 hours last night though. The past two nights I have managed a reprieve from being her late night snack bar. Not sure what's different there (children's Tylenol?!) but I'm stoked dudes. (The cold meds make me think I'm a surfer- Hang ten!).

I got offered a job today. Ok, so perhaps that's the kind of news that should be 1st paragraph stuff. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole deal though. It's another mortgage job (she said with her eyes rolling). Don't get me wrong- I've made my fair share of moolah in the mortgage biz. The company I'm with now is great, but my broker is another story entirely. We're pals, but she's going thru a nasty divorce. I've had a nasty divorce. I know just how someone in her position thinks (little lights blinking "crazy alert!"). In fact, she's at about Chapter 12 of the book called "How NOT to go about getting a divorce"... co-written by me and Jef. He was going thru the Big D the exact same time I was. I'll tell you the "how we met story" one day. It's very Springer. Anywho, it took me over a month to get paid from my last closing. My theory is she needed the money and borrowed it from me until she could pay it back. Friends, huh?!

Back to my original point- the mortgage job. This is where my scared, fearful side comes out to taunt me. Will I remember HOW to actually do a mortgage? Will I look like a complete idiot in front of this guy? Will I fail yet again at something because I'm a big-fat-chickenhead?! Is chickenhead one or two words?!

So, basically I have a lot of thinking to do. The job is 100% commission- typical. No leads provided- typical. No set office hours- bonus! This guy (Tim) asked ME to come work for HIM. I wasn't hunting a job. So that's good. He was the VP of the bank my dad was a board member of... cue the "not a good thing" music. I've always lived in the "Shadow of Harold" ("Have you met Harold's daughter?" ... "I've heard all about you from your dad!" ... "Hello Harold, Jr."). For once I want to stand up, smack down, and make them scream MY name. Haha- Who's yo daddy now?!

So does my job-timidness stem from not wanting to live in the constant shadow of expectation from everyone expecting me to be just like dear old dad? Or is it the good ol fear of falling flat on my face in front of authority?

I have a lot of thinking to do... I believe I will begin my thinking with my eyes closed on a pillow!