My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


I'm Buzzing!

No, I have not been into the Patron Tequila. My head is buzzing for a far less fun reason than that (even considering that the last time I shot tequila I puked on the side of the road, in a car, in my floor, in the shower, knocked myself unconscious, and woke up with a fro!).

I have a cold. I'm all sinusy (new word) and I keep looking at the floor to see if my eyes have fallen out yet. Oh what fun this is! Ava is snotty- that's the best description I can give you. It's not really phasing her. She did sleep 13 hours last night though. The past two nights I have managed a reprieve from being her late night snack bar. Not sure what's different there (children's Tylenol?!) but I'm stoked dudes. (The cold meds make me think I'm a surfer- Hang ten!).

I got offered a job today. Ok, so perhaps that's the kind of news that should be 1st paragraph stuff. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole deal though. It's another mortgage job (she said with her eyes rolling). Don't get me wrong- I've made my fair share of moolah in the mortgage biz. The company I'm with now is great, but my broker is another story entirely. We're pals, but she's going thru a nasty divorce. I've had a nasty divorce. I know just how someone in her position thinks (little lights blinking "crazy alert!"). In fact, she's at about Chapter 12 of the book called "How NOT to go about getting a divorce"... co-written by me and Jef. He was going thru the Big D the exact same time I was. I'll tell you the "how we met story" one day. It's very Springer. Anywho, it took me over a month to get paid from my last closing. My theory is she needed the money and borrowed it from me until she could pay it back. Friends, huh?!

Back to my original point- the mortgage job. This is where my scared, fearful side comes out to taunt me. Will I remember HOW to actually do a mortgage? Will I look like a complete idiot in front of this guy? Will I fail yet again at something because I'm a big-fat-chickenhead?! Is chickenhead one or two words?!

So, basically I have a lot of thinking to do. The job is 100% commission- typical. No leads provided- typical. No set office hours- bonus! This guy (Tim) asked ME to come work for HIM. I wasn't hunting a job. So that's good. He was the VP of the bank my dad was a board member of... cue the "not a good thing" music. I've always lived in the "Shadow of Harold" ("Have you met Harold's daughter?" ... "I've heard all about you from your dad!" ... "Hello Harold, Jr."). For once I want to stand up, smack down, and make them scream MY name. Haha- Who's yo daddy now?!

So does my job-timidness stem from not wanting to live in the constant shadow of expectation from everyone expecting me to be just like dear old dad? Or is it the good ol fear of falling flat on my face in front of authority?

I have a lot of thinking to do... I believe I will begin my thinking with my eyes closed on a pillow!


S&C said...

Good luck with the job.. I spent 5 years in the same job then switched 2 times in the last 5 months. I know its hard!
Hope you and Ava feel better soon!

underdog said...

Wow! Much going on for you! Thanks for reading my blog and your sweet comments, by the way. I've added yours to mine! Rachel

Kelly said...

What a big decision for you, but I know you'll make the best decision for you and your family. You have great intuition! Sorry you and Ava aren't feeling well, but glad that she slept for 13 hours last night. I am stoked, too, but Doran only slept for 5 straight hours last night. Still, compared to the typical 3-hour shift, I think that's great! Anyway, feel better and good luck!

Berrymomnw said...

THINK!! So you fall on your face, what's the worst that could happen? So you don't live up to being Harold Jr? The world falls apart?? I mean you know you will do great, you are just being a chickenhead!!! I think it is just the cold meds talking!

meg said...

Well I am finally getting around to reading some blogs... I am a bit behind. But, I hope you are feeling better by now...

Good luck on the job front.... I am sure you are good at whatever you do! I have no doubts about that!