My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


How I Met Jef

I don't think I've blogged more than a paragraph on this before... so here's the How I Met Jef story:

I was a real estate assistant at a local office (when RE meant real estate and had nothing to do with reproduction!). I was in the process of building my house, divorcing my then husband, and having a small affair with a guy in the office whom we shall call D.

L (Jef's ex) started working at the r.e. office and we became friends. About 6 months into our friendship I let her in on the little secret affair I was having. D became our "partner in crime" so to speak. He was always with her, where ever we all went, because she was nice enough to let him tag along so I could hang out with him.

Or so I thought...

You see, L was having an affair with D behind my back. Which, he was no great catch, rest assured. Nothing for women to be fighting over for certain. I was 21 and I was clueless.

In the meantime, Jef knew how L was playing me- getting me all worked up for nothing over D (by this time his interest in me was fading). She kept forcing me into situations with him, to see him, to go places- and she'd tag along. Jef wasn't 21, but he was clueless too as to why L was such a "helpful" person. It all came out in the open one weekend after L had a party at her house while Jef was at a car show.

Jef came home from a weekend away to learn of a VERY wild party- wild to the point that I left because of certain activities. And certain people. Anyway- L was packing her things as Jef came in the house. He confronted her about the party (news traveled fast) and she tried to make HIM look like the bad guy. So after 14 years of marriage, she was gone.

I had no clue she'd left when I called her house to chat. I asked Jef if she was there. He replied no. I said, "What'd she do, run away?"

And there was silence on the other end. Talk about sticking your foot in your mouth. It all started to become very clear. I apologised the best I could to Jef, but for once I was speechless.

I was at a party a few days later at another co-worker's house (a pre-Halloween event of sorts). After downing nearly a whole bottle of Bombay Blue Sapphire Gin I stumbled to her back porch. Everyone was gone except a couple people. I was spending the night at the hostess' house. I guess the time was around 11:30. I make a point not to call anyone past 9:30pm. Because I'm a prude I guess. But anyways... I got it in my mind that I MUST CALL JEF to see how he is. There was no way around it. I had to call. I had the house number on speed dial.

After 2 rings a very sleepy sounding Jef comes on the line. A very sheepish and drunk sounding me asked how he was doing, apologised again for the comment I made the other day, said a few more unintelligible words, and hung up. Little did I know I'd set into motion the greatest event in my life.

All of that was on a Friday night. On Sunday morning I got a call on my cell phone. It was Jef thanking me for checking in on him. We chatted a few minutes and then decided to meet up and go grab dinner later in the week.

It was better to eat together than be lonely we said. That was our motivation. However, as a few weeks went past, I knew I'd marry this sweet, sweet man.

I remember the first time he told me he loved me. We were sitting at the bar of our favorite restaurant having a cocktail and eating some seafood. He kept trying to say something, but he kept sidetracking himself and he was looking all sheepish and silly and cute. I knew what he was trying to say (I hoped I knew!) so I said, "Spit it out JC!"

He did. I told him I loved him too. He told me he was so afraid I'd be offended or put off or just get up and leave. I told him he was a worrywart and I'd been waiting on those words for what seemed like forever.

By late December he'd moved in with me. My house was finally a home! And even my Republican, Baptist parents had no objection to this wonderful man. My dad knew that Faith had finally found a "daddy". My mom didn't worry that my ex would try to hurt me or break in (Jef is like 3 times his size... Heck, I'm 3 times his size!).

We got engaged the day the Superbike races were at Daytona (That's motorcycles and March, FYI). He'd asked my father for his permission to marry me, which was granted (with a no return policy- dad said he'd already raised me once, and he didn't want me back again- thanks dad! Always a funny guy!).

We got married October 5th, 2002.

Which was one year to the day after my tipsy phone call to check in on Jef.


B said...

Dammit Milk Maid, i'm on the rag..and this made me cry! I'll forgive him for not liking Jimi Hendrix now, but i'm NOT showing him my thong..I draw the line there.

B said...

p.s., Big J's ex is a skanky ho, and I want to kick her ass now!

Deena said...

Sweet story.

Milk Maid said...

B- Yes, she IS a skanky ho. I can give you directions to her home or her cell phone # if you'd like to prank call her :-D Hahahaha!

Jef treated her like a princess- almost as good as he treats me! I had always joked with her that if she didnt want Jef, I'd take him! Guess it wasn't a joke in the end.

Now she's all alone- sweet revenge!

Milk Maid said...

Can I see your thong? J/k!

B said...

ooooooh, we could sic our gang on her!

Oh honey, NOONE wants to see me in a thong! : )

Milk Maid said...

Fun fodder for the gang- that'd almost be too easy!

No one wants to see me in a thong anymore either. :-S

Marcy "meg" said...

Well that is quite a sweet story! Thanks for telling us about it! How cute.. You guys are a match made in heaven!!!!

Michell said...

That is a sweet story and sounds like you definitely got the better deal than the skanky ho. He really does sound like a great guy. And hey, a good instance of drunk dialing.

amy said...

i havent checked in here in so long (friendamy from NW) - im just catching up! what a sweet story - and one that your kids will love to hear, and re-tell, to their kids :)