My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


And it's only 9:45am **UPDATED**

Ava woke up with a HUGE poopie in her diaper. Poopie doesn't do it justice- this was a dook. A brown trout. A peanut butter bomb. Not something you'd want to smell pre-coffee.

I managed to gain 5 lbs since yesterday morning. WTF?! And all I ate was stale rice cakes. Oh, and that spaghetti. Oops.

Ava scaled the fireplace (as I was weighing) and grabbed a small rock out of the gas logs. I heard her grabbing around and shuffling so I ran back into the den. When she saw me coming she started shoving the rock into her mouth like a spy would with a secret document. I fished it out as she protested by biting (gumming) me. Add rocks to the random crap she's determined to eat.

I walk back into the kitchen with Ava in my arms to find something for breakfast and slipped on the tile. I busted it, complete with kiddo in tow. She was fine- she actually landed on top of me and giggled at me. I was pissed. And my knee hurt a little. Now my shoulders are sore.

Then my pal Konetta called. I have an appointment with her today. That I'd forgotten about. That I don't really want to go to in the first place. I rescheduled to 11 since mom is gone, dad is gone, and I don't want to go to RELAX with The Faith and Ava Show. Jef offered to leave work and watch them. I appreciate his offer, but no. He needs to work and make some of that green stuff. What's that stuff called? Money. Yeah- that.

I need a bag of chocolate and a place to hide for an hour... who's with me?!

I went and enjoyed my hour with Konetta. She slathered my back up with tons of essential oils to help with the pain and the swelling and the nastiness of it all. Thanks Koni- without you I would be hiding under a desk, somewhere in Texas, gorged on chocolate. (That still does sound good though!)

I'm going to put Ava down for a nap, take a nice long shower, watch my recorded episode of the Y&R, and relax until my Big J gets home. :D


B said...

Come on by my office, I'll buy you some chocolate..and send you to a quiet corner!
Sorry it's been such a rough morning, hope the day gets better.

Anonymous said...

Me, me, me!! I want chocolate and a hiding place! Sounds like you're having the kind of day I had yesterday. Sorry to hear that. Hope it gets better by nightfall!

Deena said...

Eventful morning, no?
You can hide in Texas anytime.

B said...

I guess Kelly gets your chocolate instead! : )

Why do you have pain and swelling in your back? Have you hurt yourself?

Milk Maid said...

I busted it in the kitchen B. I jerked my arms out of socket with the large kid I was carrying that landed on me. Did you read my blog? Hehehehe!

B said...

That was harsh Aradia! You know i'm brain dead from all the studying! I have 2 tests this week..I don't know how the heck any more info is going to stick! I couldn't even remember that you had fallen! I'm a bad friend..i'm sorry.

Milk Maid said...

You're not a bad friend- no one else would let me hide and eat chocolate with them all day! My brain is dead too- and you need to remember all you can... you might need to therapy ME soon at the rate I'm going. Dont knife me!

B said...

Seriously, if we're truly going to be bad asses, we need to start saying words like shank instead of knife! : )

Milk Maid said...

"Don't shank me!"

I feel like you're going to throw ham at me when I say that.

"Don't be trying to cut me homey. Fo shizzle! I'm your homegirl, yo. Dawwwg!"

B said...

Chillax homegirl. I aint got no beef wit you YO!

Supermom said...

Thanks girls, I needed the laugh today. UMM I must also admit that my reading retention is horrible, I also forgot that you fell. What a dork I am.

kittenroar5 said...

Wow... what you miss when you return to work... Hope you are better, and I'll hide with you anytime... I'm really trying to talk B into visiting Atlanta!

Marcy "meg" said...

I am ready to go to Atlanta girls!!!

Milkmaid - so sorry you fell :( I hope you are feeling better! Your massage sounded very nice!

I hope tomorrow is better...

Estella's Moms said...

Ouch! Sorry you busted your booty.

Little tip...If rice cakes are 2 years old, THEY'RE STALE! LOL You would probably have been better off chewing on sticks. I had some pb and chocolate ones last week that weren't too bad.

underdog said...

what a craptastic morning! Sorry about the fall. My DP could comiserate with you on that one. Reese's Cup to you! RaJen