My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


8/29/07

Randomness With Snark Sprinkles

Ever have one of those days where you try to read a brilliantly written article on the pros of prose and all your brain could take in was the image of a big, flashy symbol akin to a cheap neon sign flashing wordswordswords?

I have discovered that I turn Ava upside down and smell her butt an average of 5 times a day. The butt-sniffing is complete with twisted face and sing-song voice going, "Did you poopoo?!". I have also come to the realization that this is completely normal for a mother to do to her offspring. This type of action is only weird when the sniffee becomes 9 and the sniffed-bits become armpits. At least with the baby you are pleasantly surprised by a fart around half the time. With the big kid, the pits always smell like Limburger cheese.

A 9 year olds motivation to do homework is directly proportionate to the size of the threat to take away her Pokemon game. The proportion of willingness will increase by twofold if calling "the other parent/step-parent" is mentioned.

Gratuitous Link: Paris Las Vegas

Ava and I have a new bathroom game. It involves Ava taking all my tampons out of the box and then handing them to me as I say thank you. She takes them out of the box one by one, inspects it, then hands it to me. She will stay seated in her bumbo-type chair while I do my business because of this game.

The tampon game is much better than the last bathroom game she liked to play which I call "Hey you toilet paper thief, come back here! Now! I mean it!".

6 comments:

Michell said...

yeah, having Ava steal the TP mid job is a problem. And yes, as the child gets older the desire to smell them definitely decreases.

Candace said...

A, your so great with the words...you really get my visual images flowing. I love it! I am so glad to be back!!!

kittenroar5 said...

I'm glad you have a potty system worked out... that one is keeping you on your toes, or um... rear?

Estella's Moms said...

Estella plays her own version of the tampon game. I stand her up on my lap while I do my business (if the bathtub is wet, otherwise I dump her in there). She opens the over-the-toilet cabinet and throws tampons and pads out of it. As far a butt-sniffing goes, it is my method of choice also. Pam uses the finger check method...much nastier! I guess it isn't so bad when you consider that I get at least some poop on me with most diaper changes. Hard not to when they flip over and crawl away. hehe

Lora said...

I LOVE the toilet paper game...we play that with our cat all the time!!! He's a menace!! We haven't tried the tampon game, but I'm sure he'd go for it...he likes Always afterall!! He ran out of the bathroom one day with Jay's pad in his mouth, heading up the steps just as I caught him!!!! lol (She'd KILL me if she knew I was telling this story!) :)

B said...

Yep, it's time for you to start getting out more.