My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Calling Him Out

Dear God,


Now that I have that off my chest, let's go into detail as to how greatly and exactly why you suck:

On the two year anniversary of my miscarriage you allowed Doc Fucktard (thanks for the name Kathy) to totally screw over my two friends on what should have been their IVF day. You gave them instead the world's most expensive IUI.

People wander around saying how great you are, how wonderful you are, how many miracles you create. I haven't seen much good in your work as of late, God. Have you been too busy overseas? Are you in the Bahamas for the winter? Perhaps you have given up on us. Whatever your problem is, I wish you'd get your act together.

You see, I pretty much have my own faith and gods to deal with things. It works for me and makes me very happy in my life. I used to be a devout follower of yours, but after being told that I wasn't good enough to come to your church because I got pregnant before I married my first husband, well that was the proverbial nail in my coffin. I don't like being judged for my sins by people who have done the same thing. I would like to believe the real God wouldn't judge me for mistakes. You need to revamp your whole public relations gig.

I'd like to make note that my pal B really believes in you. She is a fantastic person, and her faith in you almost makes me believe that I should give you another chance. But then a day like today comes along and you totally screw her and K over. Ever stop to think how that makes THEM feel? No, you are too busy throwing asteroids towards Mars to hear a simple, honest prayer from someone who would give a baby a marvelous home. A home filled with love, with kindness, with warmth and compassion. A home that needs a baby in it- so that two people who are in love so deeply can feel completed.

You are much too busy letting crack whores have their 7th child who will be neglected and born addicted to something that shakes their entire frail body. You are much too busy seeing that people who beat and rape and stab and shoot other people get good attorneys that will help set them free.

Some may call this letter to you blasphemy. How can I be blasphemous when I am only speaking the truth? The truth hurts, doesn't it God?

Here's you chance to redeem yourself Big G. Right here, right now- you have the opportunity and the power to right the wrongs. Be strong, step up to the plate, and let K be pregnant two weeks from now. Or at the very, very least please let those two little eggs be strong, let them fertilize, and allow them the chance to grow snug in her womb.

I have found myself saying many times that there is always a reason behind everything that happens. I would really like to know the reasons for all of the crap you decided to sling today so that some way, some how I can try to explain it to my friends. I know their hearts are breaking right this very second, and there's not a damn thing I can say or do to fix it for them.

There is only ONE thing that will make this right in their lives, God. I can only hope you will come through for them.



Michell said...

Yup. Kinda makes the faith thing hard to keep trying at. So not fair in so many damn ways.

RainbowMomma said...

Mosey-ed on over to your page to check it out and got to read this brilliant post. :) Hard to keep it all going sometimes. I must say that I can't wait to go and read more.

RainbowMomma said...

By the way, it was everything I hoped for. LOL!

From Here To Maternity said...

It's okay we've all had our rants with God.

Kathy said...

You said it sista!! Doc Fucktard is on my fucking shit list this year and if I had ANY power over Santa that piece of shit would get nothing but coal...that I shit on first.

B said...

Aww hon...this wasn't God's doing. We're going to be okay. I love you for basically calling God out for a rumble..but let's not do could be dangerous.
Thanks for being there, I appreciate you.

La La said...

Wow. (I cruised over from another blog, hope you don't mind)...but you took the words right out of my mouth! I used to be a HARD CORE believer...but this infertility thing (not only my own, but watching everyone else who is going through it as well) has been more then enough to shake my faith. That and the fact that I am in social work and I LITERALLY work with those crack whores who are on their 7th child...(no joke, I do have one family of seven). ::sigh:: Anyhow - thanks. Its great to know I'm not alone in my "blasphemous" thoughts. ;)

Kelly said...

Yeah, I kind of feel this way too. Why them, you know? Thanks for putting that raw frustration into words.

Marcy "meg" said...

It is very hard to keep faith sometimes.

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