My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


1/3/08

I Was Totally Gonna Say Something Else---

---But then one of Jef's co-workers (who is not my fave person because she... SHE... shares an office with him, all day... SHE- get that part?) decides to help herself to his food. After he'd already made a huge-ass deal earlier in the week about random guy #1 eating random guy #2's food off his plate and how that was his pet peeve.

She took an effin chomp out of his FOOD people. With her mouth.

Jef promptly tossed the food in her garbage can to make his point. Thus leaving him with NO lunch.
Once Jef told me this story, I was like this :

It's bad enough this girl is uber-thin and decently attractive and in the office with MY husband all day long (did I mention that?) and tries to be all friendly and pleasant and nice... Doggone it I have tried- really tried- to be nice to her and not choke her fucking brains out of her skull because I am a hugely possessive, super jealous bitch get all bent out of shape about the whole situation. But this was the last straw.

Luckily, Jef works an hour and a half away and I don't have the spare time on my hands to drive all the way to where he works, beat the shit out of this girl, hide the body, and get back home and take a shower before it's time to play Holly Homemaker again.

--The Milk Maid is slightly curdled today.

12 comments:

B said...

I say jump in the car and DRIVE woman! That's disgusting. I would never do that to someone..especially not someone I've really only known for a short time. I vote we kill the bitch and hide the body.

Do you think we're pms'y? I have an ingrown toenail too..so I'm extra crispy around the edges. GRRRR!! Let's get her!

The Milk Maid said...

You might be PMS'y, but I'm just mean. Wait- you could be a little mean too, but in the good sense of the word. Hey scrawny- Back off from my man, yo! Grrrrr!

Marcy "meg" said...

Ha ha - I say you do drive there! Hell I will go with you! I got some freakin pregnancy hormones I would like to use on someone :)

Kathy said...

Jesus H!! Who the hell eats bites out of someone else's food??? This bitch sounds like a begger on the streets in need of a hot meal. What a freak!! I'm completely disgusted by this entire act.

No need to kill the bitch. She's going to die soon from some random disease she catches from eating other people's food. Not from Jef's of course...she'll probably get it from the gas station attendant's hot dog.

Michell said...

Don't you HATE it when people you don't like act all nice to you and pretend to be your friend. And what kind of freak takes a bite of someones food unless it's someone she's really close to? I think driving over there is a good plan too. We'll help you hide the body.

twondra said...

Oh my gosh! I can't believe she would do that. That takes some serious guts. If you do take a drive, I'm in! Sounds like we may need to have a minivan with all the people who want to go on this joyride. :)

Michelle said...

LOL, I love your choice of words. I dont blame you on that one at all. That is gross. Who the heck would do that? Well, duh..she would. Nasty.

Michelle said...

p.s. Id love to ride in the mini van with you girls to beat her up. I have some anger I could take out on her, no problem!

B said...

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!

RaJen said...

I see you are emtpying your "resentment 'box'", good for you! :D

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I'm laughing so hard right now! I'll definitely be in your posse, just to watch you make the kill then transform into Holly HO-memaker.

Kelly said...

Looks like it's time for some gang action, don't you think. I mean, we might be a bit sluggish after the holiday feasting and ensuing depression, but I think we're all still ready to kick some ass. Just say the word and we're there.

*Grumbling* I can't stand skinny bitches...