My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


2/4/08

Vodka- It's Not For Sissies

Friday night Jef got off work early- not as early as I'd hoped, but nonetheless early. He took me to a local restaurant where we had an entree of prime rib and a few drinks. Well, he had a couple drinks... I had 2 cosmos and 2 appletinis (chant with me now: "Because anything worth doing is worth overdoing!").

Somewhere around my 3rd drink I had to use the ladies room. I can't remember if B called me or if I texted her or maybe I called B... however it was, I had a nice little chat with her.

But this is the part where everything started getting a little fuzzy...

Did I actually pee while on the phone with you B? Or did I say, "Oh I just finished and I'm hiding in the restroom". And did I call you back later that night? And was that when I thought you girls were in the tub? To clarify- they were NOT in the tub when I talked to them. It was a vodka-induced figment of my imagination. (But I could just swear I head splashing!)

And why was my back so sore the next morning... Ooohh, I remember now. Drunk acrobatics. Note to self: You are waaay too old and out of shape for backbends!

--The Milk Maid tied one on! Then she untied it and promtly misplaced it!

14 comments:

Ethansmama said...

You sure know how to have a good time...My question is how in the hell do you manage to get up the next morning and function with a small child and preteen in the house? YIKES!!!

The Milk Maid said...

Lots and lots of tylenol. And a good ol greasy breakfast!

Deena said...

Does everybody call B when they are "tying one on"? Cuz, I usually do.
Splashing huh? I think you totally heard them splashing around with socks on.

So, kids soon? Have you told Jef yet? :>)

B said...

Everyone calls me when they drink because I love to tell drunks jokes! Especially if i'm drunk myself! No A, we weren't in the tub, I swear it. I am incapable of talking to people on the phone when i'm naked..i'm weird like that. I don't think you peed while we were on the phone, because that would gross me out. : ) I'm glad I wasn't drinking Friday, because you and K were hilarious..and because I was sober..I remember everything!
D, don't mention that room! MY EYES, MY EYES!!! I'll bring in the blow up mattress for you!

Marcy "meg" said...

Sounds like you had a good time! Way to go girl!!!

Michell said...

Sounds like you had a lot more fun that I did on Friday night.

singletracey said...

Lots of Tini's... mmmmmmmm Now that I know B is the official "who to drunk dial".. I'll be programming her number in.. LOL

kittenroar5 said...

Appletinis? I want one.

So, who do we drunk dial when you are. I wanna know.

kittenroar5 said...

when you are here.

damn, this fat cat won't let me type.

The Milk Maid said...

I say we still call B... we can sneak away and drunk dial amuk! Or is that amock? Like crazy- DD like CrAzY!

B said...

You guys are going to drunk dial me from the same table..or what?

Kathy said...

No you're going to drunk dial me because I am missing out. That way I can pretend I'm there. I'll have to sit here alone and get drunk. Alone. While I wait for the calls. Its kinda like prom for some people, with all the waiting and the nothing. hahahahhaha

Glad to hear you survived your 4 vodka drinks. Keep up the good work. :-)

B said...

Don't tempt us Kathy..they will be at my house, we WILL be drinking..and I DO have your number! : )

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I do love a good drunk story!