My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Welcome To All B, All The Time!

If you aren't sure who this B character is that I keep blabbering about, then you've either been under a rock for a year OR this is the first time EVER you have read this blog. Because goodness knows, I can yammer on and on about my pal B!

I remember vaguely how we "met". It was via the blogs of course (where the hell else do you find friends?) and had something to do with bitch shoes and all that stuff. Long story short, I've become such good friends with B that the following now happens:

  • My inbox is always full, as is hers, because we chat all day long via email.
  • I've recently had to up my minutes on my cell phone plan (cough*double them*cough)because when we aren't emailing we are ringing the other one up.
  • I constantly get her into trouble via my text message replies.
  • I actually get to meet my pal B this weekend!

If you didn't know already, today is B's 35th birthday (or the 2nd anniversary of her 17 and a half birthday)! Happy birthday B! Everyone go give that girl some bird-day lurve!

I was going to share a really funny story about me and B, but I've either been sworn to secrecy, would need to plead the 5th in a court of law, or B would shank me if I did-- so this birthday story in rhyme will have to suffice:

There once was a Ninja Pirate Mobster Gang Member named Brandi.

The bra she should have worn that day would have come in quite handy

When about the town she ran, complete with knife in hand

Trying to shank a skank.


Road rage, yes she has it-

Some of us see it as quite fantastic!

Flicking her drink on movie patrons,

Getting harassed in hair salons by old matrons,

That's our B and we like it!

Happy Birthday B!!!

top diet pills


B said...

Girl, you are a freak! Thanks for the birthday poem? I can't wait to see you guys Friday!!

Marcy "meg" said...

Well this was so sweet! Love it!

Looking forward to the weekend :)

Anonymous said...

I love it! You know her so well! ;)


themotherhen said...

Ya know I think you might be two peas in a pod.

Lora said...

Well Happy Birthday, B! :) You're so funny! I totally enjoy reading your blog. Btw, LOVE the hair!!!! And I'm not asking if you came from another planet...cause I've had mine like that NUMEROUS times. In fact, it's that time again!!! :) You go, Girl!!!

Deena said...

Great poem!

Happy Birthday B!

Worker Mommy said...

Happy Birthday , B

What a cool "tribute", MM!

babybound said...

I am such a bad friend. I completely forgot about this birthday. I have absolutely no excuses either. I just suck. :-(

And I cannot even tel you how jealous I am of this weekend. I hope you guys call me drunk. Very drunk!

twondra said...

Happy b-day B!

Love the post! You're so funny

B said...

Good Lord Baby Bound, be careful what you ask for there. Between Milk Maid and I..our accents could confuse anyone..and that's while we're SOBER!

Becky said...

Dude, that's a nice poem. I now expect one for my birthday, you know :)