My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Playing The Sidekick

I arrived home from my A&P class this morning to find my father readying the playhouse to be moved to where the old shed used to be (which he got a wild hair to tear down last week). The playhouse was elevated about 5 feet off the ground. Dad called an over sized wrecker company, had them come back under the playhouse and use the flatbed of the truck to lift the playhouse. The supports needed to be cut, and this is where I (unknowingly) enter the comedy of errors.
"Here, cut through that 4"x4" post with this," dad said hading me a saw.
I jumped right into the cutting, of course. Any excuse to use a power tool, right?
We cut all four legs loose, the wrecker driver lifted the playhouse free and started to drive towards the concrete slab.
That's when the driver nearly took the side of the garage off with the playhouse porch. Then, once he backed and cleared that, he made it around and almost ran over my mom who was doing god only knows what wandering around in front of a huge truck. Anyway, the guy got to the slab and tilted the flatbed back towards the slab.
The playhouse was stuck.
So he shakes the flat bed. And nothing happens. So he shakes it harder. Still nothing. As the guy decides to tilt it farther and give it a solid bounce my father decides that exact moment would be the perfect time to walk behind the truck and see what was holding it on the truck.
Picture me, swooping in like a chubby Wonder Woman and pushing dad out of the way. Luckily, the playhouse didn't come off the truck completely and (obviously) I'm here to tell you the story.
I don't know who I worry about more- dad for walking behind the playhouse or me for jumping in to save the day.
--The Milk Maid says her thighs are too chubby for hot pants.
Today's comedy of errors was brought to you by the letters D-U-H, and this nice addiction treatment center!


Becky said...

Wow dude. Freak-a-licious!

Marcy "meg" said...

OH my! Glad you guys are all okay!

B said...

Your dad gets into more shit! Tell him we'll send him to the old fucker farm if he doesn't slow his roll!

Deena said...

Ha Ha, I think you need to stay close to your parents, it sounds like they need some adult supervision!
Glad nobody was hurt in the making of this blog entry...

Candace said...

hehehehe......are you sore yet????? You be careful Wonderwoman...saving the day and all.

Michell said...

I want to see the video of all this. How come you never video tape all of it???