My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


My First Blood

Everyone grab a seat and hear the tale of how the Milk Maid drew first blood!

Well, ok so technically it wasn't really blood (it was water with red coloring) and technically it was from an arm, although it was just a fake arm. But the needles were real! And the alcohol swabs. And the gauze too! Yeah, don't forget the gauze!

Here a pictures of my first draws:

And here's a little photo of yours truly, all dressed up in scrubs like her hospital heroes on the television show Scrubs (although today I was more of a Doug than a JD or Dr. Cox- if you watch the show you understand completely).

I have to admit, welding a needle is exciting. It's dangerous! It makes me feel alive!! However, those stupid fake arms are about 400 years old and it looks like Ray Charles had been using them for practice. Oh well- I'm sure I'll encounter real people with veins like that too.
It's been a rather exciting day- I'm feeling pretty good as of late. I'm feeling a little peppier in my steppier. Sure, there has been a lot of heartache for my peeps B&K, there has been a lot of other nasty things going on too- in real life and in bloggerville, but I'm moving through a little easier these days. My secret, you ask? A low dose of my pal "Vitamin L". My new doc was more than happy to re-up my past scrip for it, and after the nasty side-effect of not being able to sleep wore off I became a new person this past week. I even watched a show on kidney transplants yesterday and didn't even fight back the urge to vomit, not even once!

--The Milk Maid says that's life in a vacutainer my peeps!


singletracey said...

LOVE the scrubs!! You look so purdy!! I would totally let you practice on my live arm.. I have one easy arm and one difficult arm.. it would be totally fun!

B said...

I love ya and all..but stay the hell away from my arms! I think Tracey may actually love you more..I has a sad about that. Vitamin L is just what you needed sounds like Ms. Thang!

B said...

I love ya and all..but stay the hell away from my arms! I think Tracey may actually love you more..I has a sad about that. Vitamin L is just what you needed sounds like Ms. Thang!

Aunt Becky said...

Dude, *phew*, I saw that blood and before I realized that it was fake, I freaked out. Blood is not supposed to look like that.

Glad that your first draw went well. If you were closer I would offer up my fantastic veins for your drawing pleasure.

Michell said...

Oooooh, the fake arm. Yes you will meet people with arms like that. They will be the frequent flyers who you see several times a year. The scrubs look great, aren't they comfy? I'd let you practice on me too. Glad that the vitamin L is helping and all that. Hugs and keep enjoying the needles girl.

twondra said...

You go girl! You look awesome!! You can practice on me. :) You done good. :)

Marcy "meg" said...

ah look at you! You belong on Grey's Anatomy!!!! :)

I am glad you are feeling better friend.

Deena said...

You are far more braver than I!

Look at the sexy nurse! (Glad you are feeling better, can I have some of that Vitamin L?) Hook a sista up.

AB said...

Cool! But just wait till you get someone like me. I am your worst nightmare when it comes to drawing blood. Even the most experience lab techs are lucky to get enough blood (usually the second or third try no less!) to adequately test on. Donate blood? I'd love to but they wouldn't get enough out of me to give a mouse a transfusion!

(Not trying to scare you - Really!)

Candace said...

ahhh....check out your first "blood." Totally awesome.....I mean it....AWESOME! I know the fake arm you are talking about & it is a riot. Our local schools have CNA programs and those Fake arms are tooo much!

babybound said...

Hey if you ever meet me (and I know you will) in person, I'll let ya check out the mother of all bad arms. Seriously? It USUALLY takes at least 3 pokes to find something. And its taken as many as 18 before the doc just gave up!!