My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Jog Blog Day 1

I went out to jog today saying piss on the rain and just going for it. My run/walk combo went well. I did a warm up of about 20 minutes of brisk walking followed by 7 repetitions of jogging for 1 minute and walking for 2. I was in the cool down when, as we call it around here, a Turd Floater hit. The rain (which I am personally responsible for bringing, but more on that in a few) was heavy enough to soak through my french-braided hair! I drove home in my sports bra and panties. I of course had to call my Pal B and tell her, and I think she said something to the effect of, "You're gonna get arrested for that shit!".

Now, as far as me being responsible for the rain- and you heard it here first my loyal readers- as soon as I decided to get outside and exercise copious amount of rain started to fall in drought-laden Georgia! I feel that Governor Pardue should give me a cash reward, the key to the city, and I should have a street in Downtown named after me: Milk Maid Avenue!

I learned a fascinating bit of trivia from one of the running websites I have been frequenting since my desire to shape up has taken, well- shape. Did you know that improperly holstered breasts can bounce as far as 8 vertical inches while running?! That goes for us bustier gals as well as members of the A cup club.

Now, some of you may think I'm a pervert and some of you may think I'm a sadist, but I want to see a normal little A cup boobie bounce like that. Whatever you may think, I know that deep down you too want to know just how in the hell something like that is possible!

--The Milk Maid makes milk shakes, but they only come in more than a mouthful size!


B said...

Goober! I so wish you had been pulled over..I would have laughed my ass I was calling the bail bondsman to get your ass out of jail!! I would have told can trust me on that one! : ) Our boobs bounce THAT much? Hmm, maybe that's how I got these black eyes.

So, does your milkshake bring all the boys to the block?

twondra said...

You're so funny! That would've been hilarous if you would've gotten pulled over. :)

battynurse said...

I can just imagine you driving down the road in your bra and panties and the look on the cops face if he had pulled you over.

Marcy "meg" said...

Maybe I should go jogging so it will rain here!

Good for you for starting your workout program! Very impressive!

Anonymous said...

Weren't your bra and panties wet too?

And you need facebook.


Loalled said...

newbie to your blog.

yeh i do the walk/run combo too. i am pretty good about sticking with it for about a week then i have to take a few days off. trying to get better at that.