My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Early Morning Ponder

Have you ever looked up at the ceiling while in the shower only to see what looks like a tiny spider crawling towards you from the other side of the room?

Have you ever prepared yourself, shower nozzle in hand, to blast that tiny spider from the sanctity of your lair into kingdom come with the water jet set to pulsate?

Have you ever let loose a battle cry of, "sheet rock and subfloor be damned!" as you prepared to take aim by crouching in the farthest corner of the shower?

Have you ever realized, in the middle of defending your territory and your naked body, that the said "spider" was really just a lady bug?

Have you ever had a conversation with a lady bug that was all, "Oh hello Mrs. Lady Bug- I hope thee are well today my fair maiden!".

--The Milk Maid says she, of course, would never do such a thing.

And she would never call any moving companies over arachnids!


B said...

Did the lady bug growl at you? I hear they are poisonous and can shoot mini poison darts out of a tube and hit a target a mile away!!!! I'm glad you're safe!!! HA HA HA HA HAH AH AHAHAHA..."don't be such a WUSSY"!!

Michelle said...

Nope, never! lol!

beth♥ said...

I abhor spiders! This, however, is the single most hilarious thing I have read all week. Brilliant.

D at Seafoodpunch said...

hehe...I'm sure I've had full on conversations with the hairballs I've mistaken for spiders on the side of the bathroom...TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT....JUST LEAVE ME A LONE! of course.i dont remember these incidents because i was probably on vicadin at the time (perscribed thank you!).

I LOVE this blog. I wish i had written it...just so i couldve drawn a lady bug in a spider suit or something just as ridiculous...

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