My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Just When You Think She Hates You She Goes And Holds Your Hair While You Puke

Friday night, after closing the satellite location I will call Doodoo-ville, I went to meet my co-workers Margarita, RoxC, and Tiny-Whiny. We met at a little hole in the wall that features a live band, cheep drinks, and a cozy atmosphere.

Being a little late to the party (again I was driving from Doodoo-ville and they were mere minutes away from the locale) I was bound and determined to catch up to their festive mood by imbibing a few quick vodka-crans.

Normally, being the social, and well occasionally not-so-social-drinker, that I am I have no problem holding my alcohol.

Only I'd gone a little light on breakfast that day. And I ate an early and small lunch. And well, sometimes I forget how fast The Vodka can catch up with me especially when I'm slamming back the smooth refreshing taste of cranberry with every drop.

Somewhere between dirty dancing with RoxC and Random Bar Lady Who Helped Herself To A Cheese stick I Was Eating and my buddy Margarita leaving and some more dancing and a whirl and a whoosh of activity my brain and eyes were too slow to follow I remember uttering the words, "I gotta barf!".

Tiny-Whiny held my hand and led me to the bathroom. I locked myself in the stall and starting riding the vomit comet. As I was enjoying my hard-earned hurl RoxC starting banging on the stall door. By banging I mean trying to kick the door off its hinges. I unlock the door, see a boot inches from my face, and return to my business. Tiny-Whiny grabs my hair and starts trying to hold it back or tie it up or something (hell I can't exactly remember what she was doing, I was drunk you know). Then, these words flowed from her mouth: It's ok, this is how we did it in prison!

Note to self and anyone else trying to lend a hand to me as I am on my hands and knees with my ass in the air puking my guts out: Never ever compare that moment to prison.

About that same time a small white object is flung at me. The small white object (that appeared to be a pill of some sort) rolled under the sanitary waste disposal can. Tiny-Whiny grabbed the small object as RoxC was yelling "give it to her". Tiny-Whiny shoved the tiny pill, the tiny pill that had been on the public bathroom floor under the bin where products used to quell menstrual flow are thrown away, into my mouth.

Well oh well Alice In Wonderland- if the one you eat makes you taller and the one you drink makes you smaller, then what does the white one do? It makes you stop hurling (phenergan) and call you husband and ask for a ride home.

The moral of the story?

People who are assholes in your work life may very well be the ones holding you hair as you puke one day, so tread lightly.

--The Milk Maid says sing me a song piano man!

Maybe I should send Tiny-Whiny some flowers a some New York Yankees tickets


AJ's mommy said...

I hate being sick, but I am glad you had some nice friends taking care of you!

B said...

DON'T DROP THE SOAP!!!!!! I particularly loved you calling and telling every member of my family (in song) how much you loved them (including ALL of the mules). I saved those voice mails woman...I have black mail material!!

Dory said...

What I wouldn't give for a transcript of those voicemails *shakes head, wry grin*


disa said...

A片下載,成人影城,愛情公寓,情色貼圖,情色,色情網站,色情遊戲,色情小說,情色文學,色情,aio交友愛情館,色情影片,臺灣情色網,寄情築園小遊戲,情色論壇,嘟嘟情人色網,情色視訊,愛情小說,言情小說,一葉情貼圖片區,情趣用品,情趣,色情漫畫,情色網,情色a片,情色遊戲,85cc成人片,嘟嘟成人網,成人網站,18成人,成人影片,成人交友網,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人光碟,微風成人區,免費成人影片,成人漫畫,成人文學,成人遊戲,成人電影,成人論壇,成人,做愛,aio,情色小說,ut聊天室,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080視訊聊天室,免費視訊聊天,哈啦聊天室,視訊聊天,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,6k聊天室,視訊聊天室,成人聊天室,中部人聊天室,免費視訊,視訊交友,視訊美女,視訊做愛,正妹牆,美女交友,玩美女人,美女,美女寫真,美女遊戲,hi5,hilive,hi5 tv,a383,微風論壇,微風

Anonymous said...

[p]Chanel shades, celebrity sunglasses as well as the sunglasses through a few of the well-known fashion brands like

Knock off ray bans, Gucci and many others have got over time grew to be fashion emblems in the distinctive team from the rich along with the popular personas worldwide . Nonetheless, history repeated itself sometimes . The numbers of [url=]cheap ray ban[/url] fish that phone individuals waters house are in huge abundance, and that's why Alaska fish angling offers such a excellent focus . It is set in leather upper with lavish ruching [url=]ray ban sunglasses[/url] on the shaft . In the women's category probably the most sought after sunglasses tend to be:

Ray Ban RB0008 Jennifer Shades

The Jennifer series is straightforward but yet extremely stylish and there's nothing different with the RB0008 set . Be sure to get your cheap eyeglasses online ready . the [url=]Ray Ban Aviator Sunglasses uk[/url] mixture of the metal and the lens make the layout of the sunglasses are quite graceful and elegant . ">How to Find Perfect Corset Prom Dresses17th August 2011By SandyTaylorPrint this article Ask about this article Author RSS Views:N/A Corset prom dresses are regarded as a kind of dress to attract people茅聢楼忙陋職 attention in a quick and easy [url=]ray ban sunglasses uk[/url] way . I noticed in the reception region a extensive array of sunglasses as well as RayBan sunglasses.[/p][p]Tom Cruise is noted for movies like Top Gun, could have been said to have started the aviator sunglasses fashion trend . Oakley If you were to seek at any particular kind of designer brand and even identify them as the black sheep of the group, [url=]ray ban wayfarer[/url] Oakley will indicate that brand . However, should you utilize several offers, you can accumulate a sizeable bunch of designer sunglasses and not pay one penny for the children . Firmoo's return and refund policy makes your purchase with Firmoo risk-free . Most common accessories utilized by women include handbags [url=]cheap ray ban sunglasses[/url] and shades . Types of Frames

Ray Ban eyewear is created with a substantial selection of frame groups . Aviator sunglasses were first used by the air force and then they became popular when the movie Top Gun was released . What To Watch Out For If You Are Searching For A Ray Ban Sunglasses Auction Online? If you acquisition a absolutely low amount on these sunglasses online, are they fake? This is a abundant question, because generally a amount that just seems too low absolutely may be a assurance that the account is not the absolute thing . The World Wide Web offers numerous opportunities to find the right source for your discount Ray Ban sunglasses; you just have [url=]sunglasses uk[/url] to exercise care that when buying these discounted sunglasses to deal only with reputable sellers.[/p]