The Learning Curve

You learn a lot being a mom. I'm not telling any of you anything, whether you are a mom or not, I know. Sometimes it's not that you learn, or what you learn, it's all how you learn it.

My lesson this past week was that you never hold a baby above your head. Especially right after they eat. And if they've been gassy and burpy all day. You wanna know WHY you don't do this. You already know, right! Because (say it with me now) you get puked on. In my case, I not only just got puked on, Ava barfed right in my eye and my mouth. I was blinded, and couldn't talk...And was stuck holding a 16 pound baby over my head. I couldn't call for Jef or Faith to come help, so I made a lot of "HUMMMMPPHHH" noises, and Jef dispatched Faith to get something to wipe me off with. Faith runs off, I hear her approach so I hold my hand out to find she has one square of toilet tissue to offer me. I made a lot more guttural grunts, Jef notices the lack of aid Faith is delivering to her incapacitated mother, and he gets a real towel for me.

Now I've re-learned the "don't hold the baby over your head" lesson, and added to that the "9 year olds don't understand proportions" lesson.

Jef thought he would add the "husbands will laugh at you" lesson, until I reminded him that I professionally teach the "You'll get your ass kicked for that" class at the local Fight Dirty School.

Adding to my vast knowledge, I've also learned this week that it takes over an hour to use the CD burner at the local pharmacy. So, I don't have birthday pics of Faith yet. But I have some pics, and in lieu of something more recent I'll share this one of the girlies at Christmas!


Sure, Faith's hair isn't brushed, there's still a gap in her bangs where she did a DIY trim, and Ava looks like "What thaaa??".... but that's typical for this crew. Haha!!