My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


6/22/07

Friday Mish-Mash #3 **UPDATED**

My To Do List:
* Means Completed

*1. Buy dress that doesn't show my muffin-top stomach or make my ass look like cottage cheese that is both reunion and memorial service appropriate.
*2. Get hair cut and styled so you don't freak out tomorrow over that thick, course, unruly mop you call hair before reunion.
3. Finish last minute reunion details.
4. Write eulogy for Ronny.
*5. Yell at old crazy lady with rollers in her hair that is driving slowly in front of you.
*6. Save neighborhood from what you believed at the time was a rabid chipmunk that later turned out to be a paper sack.

I am not sure if any of you have ever noticed, but I like to write and create. So, naturally I volunteered to say a little something about Ronny at his memorial service. And now, wouldn't you know it, I have eulogy writer's block. Where did my Muse go? I had a glass (or 3) of wine last nite after Ava went to bed and was spouting poetry sandwiched between a soliloquy and a haiku for the man. Now... zilch. I really should record my drunken ramblings. I could write that book I've been putting off in no time!
-------------------------
10pm...

Started euology for Ronny, have 2 paragraphs written. As far as a eulogy goes, it's humorus.

Had dinner with the reunion-gang. Still putting off last minute details for the last minute.

Like my new hair so far. I have been listening to The Who a lot and picturing myself as the long lost female band member.

Been thinking about sex A LOT. Not news. Just thought I'd share. It's been weeks. Torture. Madness. Insanity.

I envy B for getting 23 responses to her next to last blog. Even though I was responsible for most of them, I still have a certain amount of jealousy.

So who the hell IS the clown-ish one?

Been thinking about the "mean gang". Want to make a spread sheet of our strategic maneuvers. It's anal, but it's fun.

That is the only context in which I shall use the above referenced sentence.

32 comments:

B said...

I used to think that while I was intoxicated..I said some of the most profound things. To test this theory of mine..K bought me a little pocket recorder.
Just hold onto your dream..it's more fun than reality.

B

Marcy "meg" said...

Is your reunion this weekend??? If so, have a blast!!!!!

Kelly said...

I always wax poetic when I'm drinking...but then again, I guess that's a common experience =) I'm sure you'll be inspired again in time for the service. Good luck on accomplishing all of those tasks. Sounds like you have a full day (or days) ahead of you!!

kittenroar5 said...

I want to see the hair. Pics, please.

kittenroar5 said...

And the mean spread sheet.

kittenroar5 said...

And pictures of your dress.

kittenroar5 said...

And tape record yourself.

Michell said...

Yes, tape record yourself. that could be funny. Have a great time at your reunion.

B said...

Oh pleeeeaaaase! I hardly ever get comments. Don't be jealous of my 2 seconds of fame. AND, like you said..the comments are mostly all yours..well, the ones that aren't my own! : )

B said...

I have a barely used recorder you can have.....: ) Though, your comments would be much funnier if you were stoned!

B said...

You'll know the scary clown by the blood on her pointy teeth!

Kelly said...

I'm a little jealous of b, too, but what can you do? She's "family" now and there's no whacking family, right? Right?

Kelly said...

Oh, and we most definitely need pics of the new hair and dress. If you don't give them to us, we'll mutiny. Wait, we're a gang, not pirates...

Kelly said...

Although I have thought about becoming a pirate at times...pirates are kind of a gang, don't you think? Not that I'm trying to take that direction, I'm just saying.

Kelly said...

I'm glad the neighborhood has you. It's nice to know that if there ever was a rabid chipmunk terrorizing the neighborhood then your cat-like reflexes would save them all.

Kelly said...

I wonder, would you get a medal or certificate for that act of bravery? You should!

Milk Maid said...

I am laughing my ass off gang...

thanks for making me pee myself before noon!

Pirates... OOhh! I always wanted a pet bird.

Pics this afternoon- promise!

B said...

Kelly, I bet her ninja skills would take care of thos pesky chipmunks! She knows Karate..that makes her the gangs official ninja..right?

B said...

Can I wear an eye patch if we decide to go the pirate route? I think that since our gang is in the early stages of formation that we could really be anything. In fact..we could have theme days..dress like mobsters one day, street thugs with baggy jeans the next......but K thinks that this sounds like gay cabaret.

B said...

Oh, and you definitely CANNOT whack family. Unless somehow you were related to that scary clown with bloody teeth..then someone should perform a mercy killing.

Milk Maid said...

But gay cabaret is so lively! Humm...

Ninja pirate mobsters... cat-like reflexes, peg legs, and a really thick accent- no one will mess with us- yo-ho-ho!

Dang- now I want rum.

kittenroar5 said...

Arrrgh! If there be liquor, count me in!

B said...

Where is the spread sheet?

Kelly said...

I support theme days. And really, who doesn't like gay cabaret?

Kelly said...

No rum for me, thanks, I'm a tequila girl. And the milk maid can definitely be our ninja. I don't think anyone would be brave enough to challenge her.

Kelly said...

Except maybe that clown...

kittenroar5 said...

That clown is a scary, scary beeotttch. I'm starting to think she might meet my sister in the crazy ward. Ugg.

Milk Maid said...

You girls... what would I do without my gang of ninja mafia pirates. And why do I keep wanting to put pilates instead of pirates?

((The Gang, Chanting)) We will make you bend into positions you've only ever dreamed about!

kittenroar5 said...

One more thing... don't think your last sentence went unnoticed. He. he. he.

Marcy "meg" said...

This accountant has your spreadsheet all under control! That is my speciality... just tell me what you want on it!

Deena said...

Looks like you beat B's comments...I think I am number 31...WOW!
Now I am jealous... :>)

Supermom said...

See what I miss when I have to go kick the crap out of people at soccer!!!!