My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


I Hate Sofas

I hate them because I know when I'm sleeping on one I am in the doghouse for something. As was the case last nite...

Some of you know about Jef and His Kidneys. No, it's not a new oldies tribute band (god knows I wish!). He is having "issues" with creatinine levels- that's the condensed version of all the crap we've been going thru over the past month because of it.

At the last appointment one of his doctors told him he MUST have a biopsy of his kidneys. They know he doesn't have cancer, leukemia, 49 other different diseases or disorders... but they don't know WHY his creatinine levels are high. So, said doctor gets his panties in a wad and orders for a biopsy. Even though the OTHER doc at the same practice the same day at THE SAME F-IN TIME says no, that's way too invasive and it's too early in the game.

I thought WE had decided to wait for at least a few more weeks before hopping the biopsy train. Obviously, the conversation WE had was only taken to heart by ME since HE scheduled (rescheduled, actually) the biopsy. Which all this is fine- if he wants a huge needle shoved into his kidney so be it! But (and there's always a but) he didn't tell me until over a day later that he'd decided this. That's where I put my bitch shoes on and scuffed up the floor of contentment.

I pretty much just ignore people and don't make any unnecessary conversation when I fight. I'm the argument turtle for 2 reasons: I tend to break things I really like when I throw stuff, and it's a lot more effective to just be silent but deadly.

I really don't remember what set me off or set him off or what lead up to the whole deal, but I was already putting clothes on to go sleep on the couch and accidentally (yes, it really was an accident) whacked my wedding ring on the light switch and it made a huge thud. He made a comment that if I was going to bang things around blahblah, and I said I wasn't blahblah, and he said I'm gonna go sleep on the couch blahblah, and I said don't bother I'm already dressed (have you figured out we sleep in the buff yet?) and I walked out (no door slamming) and bedded down for the night. He was snoring by the time I got comfy.

Of course a little after 3am I am awaken by a very sorry hubby. I was too sleepy to apologise (I made apology-like noises) and he ushered me back to the bed where we snuggled up and slept for a few more hours.

The End- haha!


underdog said...

look forward to the next episode! ;) RaJen

B and K said...

Rather than taking the "turtle" approach, K usually takes the burrito approach to fighting (she rolls herself up in blankets and refuses to speak). Unfortunately, she also holds a grudge...and would have left my ass on the couch! : )
When is the biopsy? Sounds painful! I hope everything is okay.


Supermom said...

AHH How frustrating!!! You fight like my husband. And yes silence is so much more effective. But I like K would leave him on the couch, or even better, when he apologizes, I still stay on the couch in retaliation for the silent treatment. We fight like 2 year olds, thankfully it isn't more than once a year. We haven't had one where anyone has chosen to sleep in another room in a few years now.

B and K said...

the silent treatment sucks A!!


B and K said...

"That's where I put my bitch shoes on and scuffed up the floor of contentment."

I LOVE THAT! It totally made my day! I hope the floor is polished today and Jef feels better soon. k

Anonymous said...

Matt is a pro at the silent treatment. Me, I prefer to rant and rave and get it all out there so we can move on more quickly. Not a good match =) Glad it ended well!

meg said...

I am very good at that silence treatment too, and I dont' give in very easily at all. I guess you would call that stubborn. Glad things are better in that area... keep me posted on the biopsy... I am hoping he feels much better soon!

Estella's Moms said...

LMAO...only because I've been wearing my bitch shoes today too. I should try the silent treatment more often. When I use it, it works. Today I've been using my outside voice a lot. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for both of us. I hope your hubby's kidney is okay.