My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


All In The Family

Remember my obscenely skinny cousin and her daughter who came to visit not long ago? I got this great email from her today telling all about Laken's "Moment's of Blondness"! I'm glad it's not just my kid saying these things:

Laken: You know the big help wanted sign they have posted in the post office? Well what do you do when you see one of those?
Jodi: Well you go inside and ask for an application.
Laken: What if we are driving down the street and see one of them?
Jodi: Same thing, it means they need people to work for them.
Laken: Not that, I mean they are walking down the street!
Jodi (a little frustrated): Signs don't walk Laken!!
Laken: Not the sign, the person on it.

Are you with me now, do you see what's happening?

Jodi: Laken that is not a Help Wanted Sign, it is a MOST wanted sign!!! And if you see those people on it you dial 911 and stay away from them. They don't want to hire them, they want to arrest them!! And NO the Post Office is not the jail so don't ask that either, they are helping the police out!!

And one more...

The kids were outside and Laken notices the dog is out of water. They come in and she gets a huge cup and fills it with water and goes outside while Luke [Jodi's son who was at camp during their trip down here] is yelling "No! Laken not that way!". I tell him to hush and let her give the dog water however she wishes. She comes back in the house and then it happens...

Luke: You know Laken there is an easier way to do that.
Laken: How?
Luke: You know the dog's water bowl is right beside of the water spigot.
Laken (in her most agitated voice with hands on both hips and shaking her head): Now Luke you know that dog can't reach that water spigot even if he does stand on his hind legs!!!!

I immediately double over laughing, and Luke follows, and Laken stands there going "What? Tell me too!"

--The Milk Maid is a user friendly device


B said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!! : ) I knew there was a reason I signed on today!

B said...

P.S. there was a song on the oldies station this morning, (i don't know the song because it was kinda sucky) but he was talking about his burning desire. Of course..I thought of you and your yeast, thank you for THAT mental image! : )

Milk Maid said...

B- could that have been Jimmy Hendrix? He sucks...

Isn't there ALWAYS a reason you sign on for my blog? I am so witty. I talk about my hoohoo. Ok, I just defeated my own point. :D

B said...

Nope wasn't Hendrix..and I will let that comment pass. THIS TIME! : )

Puppyroar says.."scuse me while I kiss the sky"!!

Milk Maid said...

Truthfully I like Hendrix... but Jef has issues with the guy and he made me write that. You can't have everything... right?

B said...

Hmmm, I'm now having serious doubts about Jef. Jef, you're a good looking guy, but that will only carry you so far! : )
On a good note..Aradia, I knew I wasn't wrong about you.

Milk Maid said...

jef says sheepishly: I'm just not a big Hendrix fan.

B- I try to live up to your expectations... :-) You're my role model. Without you and K I'd just be a strait (as opposed to crooked) white chick with aimless a$$es to kick.

Hehe- :D

B said...

WHEW!! I better get on some boots..the sh*t is getting deep in here! I'm glad that K, Jimi, and I could help lead you through the purple haze. : )

Marcy "meg" said...

Burning desire - would that be Bruce Springsteen???

And yes I always find your posts entertaining!!!