My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


I'll Have The Mish-Mash Please

T-Minus one day and counting to Shindig Party Time! My nails are done, my hair appointment is tomorrow, the dog has a reservation at the kennel, and Ava has a reservation at the Casa de Nina and Pops (Faith called mom "Neenah" instead of Nanna when she was a baby- Ava actually calls her Nahhnahh. I just call her... well, you can guess what I call her after paragraph 2).

I emailed my Game Show story around to my family (thanks copy and paste) with a slight edit for content (I have a family of prudes, ironic I know). After sending a copy to my mother, I call her later that night and ask what she thought of it. Her comment was something like, "You didn't write that- where did you copy it from?". And people wonder WHY I only share my innermost thoughts and personal writings with Internet Muppets.

Speaking of Muppets, can I be Gonzo? He's my fave color AND he has a huge schnoz... I love that guy! Does anyone remember the old men who sat in the balcony and heckled everyone? Yeah, I can see me and B as those guys.

How about a Shindig Haiku collection:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Big Shindig coming
Squeezing into a girdle
Don't fart on the boss
Put makeup on chest
BF-ing makes veins pop up
Looks like road map still
Jef wears ties daily
Not wise to put one's neck in
A noose all the time
Open bar rings a
Loud death knoll for some people
Avoid the shooters
The shoes are pretty
The lengths we go for fashion
Squeezing my big toe
Ava staying with
Crazy parental units
Hope she shits diaper full
Tune in tomorrow for the pre-party pic (PPP!)...
--The Milk Maid says gimme a "red headed slut", please! (It's a shooter)


B said...

Yeah, you can be Gonzo. I'm Oscar the Grouch..of course. I guess you're the taller old guy..and I'm the short fat one? That's fine..we'd be good hecklers!

Deena said...

Hope you have a wonderful time at the party! Looks like you are gonna be all glammed up!

Can I be one of the hecklers also?
I loved those guys.

Marcy "meg" said...

You always crack me up. I can't wait to see the PPP.

Cate said...

great haikus...i'm laughing my ass off over here!!! :)

cate @

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Please don't fart on the boss. That might be grounds for not getting a promotion.

kittenroar5 said...

Gotta have my mish mash. Can't wait for the pics!

Kathy said...

Hmm....I've often wondered what Muppet I'd be....even though I started the Muppet trend, I don't actually see myself as one....I'm more of a God really. A God that overseas the world of the Muppets.

I need a drink. Can you tell????

Michell said...

Have a great time at the party. I can see you and B as hecklers. Lets all wish Ava poops bunches for granny.

B said...

Umm...Kathy, quit pulling on my strings..mmmmkay?

janet said...

lololol... have fun!

Patois said...

That is just too damn funny. Bravo!