My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Take Three

Let's try this again, shall we?

My day has improved. This is normally where I'd mumble something about "it's improved because it can't get any worse", but we all know that is a lie so I'm skipping it.

I broke a mirror on Saturday. Ava somehow managed to find and hide my hand mirror I use for eyebrow plucking in her toy box in the living room, and somewhere between me picking the toys up for the 7th time and the dog almost pooping in the floor and me letting him out I hear a very distinct "crack" sound.

Seven years bad luck.

The last time I broke a mirror was the beginning of my 6th grade year. The next week I got glasses- big thick purple glasses with coke bottle lenses. A month later I got a perm. The week after that- braces. Then I started my period. In the lunchroom. While wearing white. And my DAD came to pick me up from school. The whole year was like that... Hell my whole life was like that until my senior year. In case you didn't count, that was 7 years later.

So you can see why my mouth flew open with the words, "Oh fuck" streaming out of it when I heard the tell-tale cruch. The last thing I need is (more) bad luck. Let's be very realistic- that stuff is contagious too. YOU could all catch my bad luck from me.

Back to the broken mirror at hand... I immediately called Jef. Apparently I see him as the Guru of All Unjinxing Knowledge. He isn't- he told me to either a) Call Konetta, because Konetta knows the answers to this kind of stuff, or b) Go to the internet.

I called Konetta- no answer. I ran to the internet and lo and behold right there on the Yah*o home page as big as life: What to do when you break a mirror. It's like they knew. THAT freaked me out more than breaking the mirror! I called Jef again. His reply was, "Creepy dude!".

So, for everyone's future reference: When you break a mirror take the shards and bury them outside under the moonlight. Now you know!

As for whether the hex is broken, I suppose only time will tell.

Anyone need a canvas tent?

--The Milk Maid says third time is the charm.


B said...

So, if you wind up getting purple coke bottle glasses this week, I'm going to shit my pants.

Deena said...

I ALMOST broke a mirror TWICE over the weekend...
I'm sorry yours was actually broken. But if you complete the burying ritual you should be good to go. I didn't know there was a cure for the 7 years bad luck thing.

kittenroar5 said...

Fire. That's the answer.

kittenroar5 said...

Was that last post scary?

From Here To Maternity said...

Well I must have walked under a ladder inside with an open umbrella while stepping on a mirror and spilling salt. Is there a cure for my kind of bad luck? You know come to think of it I've done all of that at wone point or another....(insert twilight zone song here), you might be on to something. Good luck, does that help too?

singletracey said...

you always teach me something.. i like knowing that there is a burying ritual. MUCH LUB!

singletracey said...

P.S. I thought of you when I got out of the shower today.. not in a sexy I'm gonna flick my bean kind of way.. more like.. OH.. I am wearing my pink Aradia socks today :-) SMILE TOOTS!

Marcy "meg" said...

Oh my... I would have been freaked out at the YAHOO thing too.....

I think the burying thing may work!

Kathy said...

Damn you and your hexing me!!! I just MET you after all. Why you gotta hate on the new girl???

Did it say anything about full moons or can shards be eliminated under a finger nail clipping worth of light? Help a sista out.

I think I'm going to sleep with the lights on be damned!!

B said...

Kathy's right..that was very mean of you to hex her when she's new to the group. I think you need a time out!

Michell said...

That burying the mirror thing sounds good. If you dig the whole deep enough you could even hide any other evidence of past crimes that needed hiding.