My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


4/9/08

Reader Mail, Part Two

After tackling sprinkle tinkle, I will now peruse back through my many suggestions for topics to write about (I smell something burning... Is that sarcasm Milk Maid?).

The first topic I shall tackle will be from Jennifer over at Playgroups are no place for children. Jennifer wrote, "How about [writing about] what you thought about motherhood before you had kids and motherhood afterwards? How about the WORST baby gift ever? Or the best? Or the most useless?"

Well Jennifer, as far as motherhood pre-kid and post-kid I feel pretty much the same. Oh sure, I had no idea I'd love the little devils so dang much. I also had no idea that children could make out the word S-U-C-K-E-R on my forehead. I also never would have dreamed at how much poop can possibly come out of a child.

Growing up an an only child I always wanted a large family of my own. I'm talking 5 or 6 kids! I would seriously still have a smathering of tiny people take over my home except for the one fact that Big J says poo-poo to that idea. Two, perhaps three max is his rule of thumb. Plus Paige. Yeah, I can see how the place would get filled up pretty quickly with half a dozen mini-mes.

As far as the worst baby gift ever- and the most useless too- that would have to be the Dick Tracey socks my aunt gave me... for a shower gift... yes that was all. It was the same pair of socks I'd gotten for my 10th birthday and re-gifted to my cousin. The best baby gift I got was the new cushions for Ava's rocker glider chair (that had been Faith's rocker glider). My Big J gave me those along with a nursing foot stool.

Moving along, Marcy asked about my favorite date with Jef. That's a hard one to pick, seeing as how they are ALL my favorite. If I had to choose, I would say the date where we went to play putt-putt in the freezing cold rain without our coats and ended up in the jewelry store looking at diamonds. Yep- that was my fave!

Baby Bound writes, "Well duh....its time for the Milk Maid to discover the fountain of youth, define the meaning of life, pin point the exact location of where the sky purchases its blue, and write God about gettin BabyBound a lil baby. DUH!!"

BB, I have discovered the fountain of youth. It's at my local mall and it seethes with young people. They practically OOZE forth all over the place, them and their perfectly perky teen-ness, their Abercrombie and Fitchness, their babydoll t-shirt-ness. Meet me there sometime BB... I'll be the one with the dark glasses that later follows them to their cars while wearing a hook hand and a scary mask.

The meaning of life is to look for a meaning in life. When you have all the answers to all the questions, then you die so you can't tell anyone.

You can purchase Sky Blue at any hardware store that offers paint matching.

The last Dear God letter I wrote backfired miserably... However, if you'd like me to chant to a fertility goddess skyclad, well- I hear the Pagan Gods are a little more forgiving for blasphemy.

Last but not least, K requests, "Physics. Definitely need to blog about physics. Or the relationship between physics and god. Yea. that'll do it."

Well K, the way I see it the laws of physics do not allow for a god to exist. And the way the Christian Church sees it, physics are something created by non-God fearing scientists who are trying to push the whole Big Bang theory into our schools. So basically everything equates down to this: Nothing is real. This is all make believe. Am I really sitting in this chair? IS there a chair? I'm falling OUT of this chair that doesn't exist! Oh God! Wait- there isn't one! Arrrrgh....

:::Poof:::
--The Milk Maid is planning that nice vacation for the River Styx as we speak.

8 comments:

B said...

Don't forget your coin for the ferry driver. MILK MAID!!! Girl, you need to get back to school. Srsly! You are bored out of your damn mind.

chris said...

Some great thoughts here...You'll fit perfectly with my family.LOL

Thank you for stalking, I'm honored.

Marcy "meg" said...

Thank you so much for answering my question!!! :)

Anonymous said...

I believe a more indepth study is needed. I'll reconsider your thesis when it is backed up with citations. ;)

kirsten

twondra said...

That's cool! I have a question and maybe you've answered this once in your blog and if so, I'm sorry. :( but I was wondering how you and Jef met and how long you dated before you knew he was the one?

Thanks girl. :)

jennifer said...

I'm guessing the regifting of the socks was a joke?!

Michell said...

Ok the part about the fertility gods and skyclad is interesting. I think I remember your letter to god. Or one of them anyways.

babybound said...

So all I gotta do is go to the mall? Huh. It sounds so simple. It just might work!