My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


Beautiful Friday Mish-Mash

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood children! Yes- I am in a perky mood. Could that have something to do with the amorous adventures of a certain Milk Maid and her dearest? Certain adventures times TWO please. Nothing puts you to sleep for the night like love-making, and there's nothing like a good predawn romp to make the blood flow!

And whilst on the topic of sex, Jef finally figured out how to make his penis 8 inches. It was simple really. He just folded it in half!

The sound of silence fills the air here. Faith and Ava are fast asleep in their beds. The cat is curled up asleep at my feet. The coffee maker has stopped it's perking. Just the sound of my fingernails clacking away at the keyboard. I am taking a minute to soak it all in.

For all the new moms who don't have mobile children (yet) and all the mom's-in-waiting who are seeking a baby-bean all their own, let me tell you what having a 10 month old is like:

Having a 10 month old is like having a velociraptor as a pet. Remember those pesky little miniature t-rex types from Jurrassic Park? The ones who would watch the humans and learn to replicate their every move. Like learning to open doors, dismantle remotes, move furniture, manipulate siblings, and climb fireplaces. Ok, so the Jurassic Park dinos only opened doors and tried to eat people, but you get my drift here.

Have I told you the story of how Ava didn't want to sleep one night a month or so ago... and she decided to rip the pretty little Classic Winnie The Pooh border off her wall behind the crib? Yep. Tore it in half. Her crib now sits about 3 feet off the wall.

On the upside of being such a smart little dare-devil, I have managed to teach Ava a few tricks. My favorite thing she does is she lays her head over to the side when you say, "Who's sweet?" and gives you the sweetest most innocent smile ever! And then she will continue upon her path of destruction. I don't think it a coincidence at all that there was a hurricane named Helene when I was pregnant with Miss Ava Helene.

Who's so sweet to help mommy blog!
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She was "brushing" the cat with the hairbrush- he left before I could get that photo.
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Ava is talking to the cat in this picture.
She's giving him heck over something- I think she called him a dodo bird!
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--The Milk Maid is a proud member of the mommy-bloggers guild.


Michell said...

Yeah that whole path of destruction part worries me some. I'm worried the kid will take after me. I've seen pics of myself completely mobile at 8.5 months. I think I was a year barely and they had to move me to a toddler bed when I fell trying to climb out of the crib.
Oh, and I had to go back and reread several times that part about Jef's penis.

kittenroar5 said...

I'm so glad you are perky and happy... you deserve it! And dino babies are the best kind!

B said...

Wow, I'll have to try folding mine in half (gets in the way sometimes).

You know K does that same little "who's sweet" look! She also kicks and stomps her feet if she's displeased! : )

Supermom said...

You are absolutely hilarious. I'm sure Jef will love you blogging about his penis. Mike would kill me...well he doesn't read my blog so he wouldn't know. But still, you are BOLD this morning! Ava is so adorable, velociraptor or not.

Milk Maid said...

B- I'm trying NOT to see you with any male anatomy (esp not in my tub). Ava also stomps with displeasure when she doesn't get her way... maybe she has been emailing K secretly and they are plotting against us.

By 9 months I could pop the latch on my crib and would motor about the house at my leisure. I'm about to pay for my raising I fear.

kittenroar5 said...

OMG... I'm going to ban her from the computer, then I'm calling Jef to ban you too.

Marcy "meg" said...

I like the boldness! Hey I talked to B&K earlier about the bathtub :) You will have to ask them about it :)

Ava's pictures are so cute... she is getting so big!

B said...

Meg, you make us sound like perv's! (though I think I do an okay job of that myself) : )

Anonymous said...

You sassy ladies! How funny! That's some look Ava has =) You knew payback had to come sometime, right? You didn't actually think you'd get away without it, did you? I'm mostly afraid that I'll receive payback for Matt's wild behavior considering I was a very well-behaved, obedient child. At least you know what to expect, right? Good luck!