My boobs were my tools of the trade for almost 20 months.

Once my youngest daughter weaned herself from the Magical Boob Juice, the fun really began!

(And by fun we all know I mean chaos!)

Pull up a chair, sit a while, read a few pages.

Keep and open mind and a joyful heart and you too can get pumped into the world of The Milk Maid.


The Milk-Induced Coma 300

"aka Holy Hell You Blab A Lot"

Once upon a time there was this girl who, well- she was more of a woman that a girl. She was late 20's with a house and a car and 2 kids and a step-daughter and a husband and a dog, a cat, a llama- well you get the gist. The girl/woman (giman? worl?)... We can call her The Milk Maid, decides to start a blog about her boobs. Well, not in the "hey look at my knockers" kind of way, but in the "I am fortifying my child with ninny-nectar; I shall share with everyone!" kind of way.

One day, The Milk Maid woke up and had comments on her blog. From real people! Ok, so we assume they are real people, because Milk Maid later talked to said commenters on the phone and droids usually do not pull off the Cali-girl accent.

Through the next year, The Milk Maid kept boobin' her kid while having all kinds of adventures and meeting new and exciting friends through her boob-log. Tall people, short people, people who talked funny, people who made her really self-conscious about her accent. Strait people, lesbian people, people who didn't care whether or not they had mayo or mustard or both on their sandwich! The Milk Maid got to be such great friends with lots of these people that she became less and less inhibited. She talked openly about sex and how much she had (and how much she still wanted to have, because quite frankly this Milk Maid character is a nympho or something).

Anywhos, one day the Bitch Shoes came out of Milk Maid's closet and lo and behold-- two of Milk Maid's very bestest friends ever popped out of the woodwork to laugh along with her as she scuffed up the floors of contentment. Everyone wanted more snark... it got to the point to where The Milk Maid started trying to edit Html code with stuff like this:

[begin snark]
I really love birds and sunshine. It makes my heart full of joy!
[end snark]

The Milk Maid made no bones about it- the boob-loggin' was her favorite activity! Where else could she go to release stress she had against her father, her mother, or just whine until B made her get her head out of her ass?... Or write one of her favorite posts ever (a tie with my ranting letter about dad, which you can see if you click "father").

A big thanks to all my blog buddies who have helped to make Milk-Induced Coma possible, and Happy 300th published post to me!

--The Milk Maid says squirt squirt!

wouldn't be right without this: cell phone signal


B said...

Happy 300th!! I am very glad that I happened upon your blog. I would have missed out on a great friend otherwise!

Ethansmama said...

Happy 300. It has been great fun!
Can't wait till March to meet!

Deena said...

Congrats on reaching 300! You look mighty fine for being 300!

Glad you are blogging. When I read your posts, you make my world brighter!!! Keep on keepin on!

Michell said...

Yes, happy 300th. I'm glad I finally started commenting on your blog.

Michell said...

I realized that maybe I should clarify that. See I read your blog for a while before I started commenting. But since I've started commenting I've gotten to know you better and your such a great person. Now hopefully I don't sound like some weird stalker.

B said...

Michell's not a stalker, but she plays one on t.v.! : )

The Milk Maid said...

Michelle can stalk all she wants-- hehehe! As can everyone else. In fact- I have removed the necissity to have a blogger/google signin, so ANY of my lurkers and stalkers can comment.

I could regret this!

The Milk Maid said...

I mean MICHELL (no e)...


kittenroar5 said...

Happy 300! I feel like you need a crown and wand or something. I don't know how we found you darlin, but we are so glad we did. You are the only Milk (Maid)I love!

Seriously, a pic in a gown and crown a la Ms. America would rock.

Anonymous said...

Yay Happy 300!!!

What a lovely story. But I'm still know people that eat sandwiches with mayo AND mustard?

singletracey said...

HAPPY 300th Girlie.. and like I totally like don't talk like a Cali girl ;-)

Marcy "meg" said...

I am so glad I get to read your blog everyday! And don't worry, people make fun of my accent too :)